Men’s sinful pastime. The sport of watching women. The candy for the eyes. The toy store. We know that this is a child’s fantasy land. So is the objectification of women. When they walk, every above the waistline bounce. Every step. Every look from “behind” is mesmerizing. Every pose at the magazine rack becomes a mental play-land for lust filled men. The lustful look is a clear indication that objectification of women is a problem with men. The root cause of all sexual immorality for men will always be in two places.
His thoughts and his eyes.
Too often, a woman’s beauty is blamed.
Boneheaded men would say, “Women are to be blamed for rape when they wear provocative clothing. If they wouldn’t wear what they wear, they would get raped. She got what she deserved!”
It is important to understand that women do wear provocative clothing to get noticed but on average, most women don’t. It’s all about what a man is thinking about and what he desires to look at regardless of what a woman wears.
Even if an “aged” woman in tight fitting jeans with long hair is walking by. The fact that she is not young looking wouldn’t deter the lust filled heart of a man.
Even in church, sexy sells and all women know this.
As a side note, sadly, women do come to church, married and single women with low cleavage, tight skirts. Sometimes they do not give a pastor or other married and single/divorced men a break.
For married women that dress provocatively, as a note, it could be a miscommunication/misconnection little to no sex situation in their marriage. Translation.
The provocatively dressed wife is demanding her husband’s attention. Even to the point of openly flirting with other men in small ways to make her husband jealous. All in an effort to get his undivided attention.
When their husbands do not give them the time of day in terms of giving their wife “quality attention,” sometimes provocative wear is not necessarily to get the attention of the pastor or other men.
They are trying to get the attention of their husband (see 1 Peter 3:1-4).
The truth of the matter is that unfortunately, sexually observant married, single/divorced men are controlled by what they objectify. Men, married or not, is always in search mode.
They must learn how to control their minds as well as where their eyes travel according to Job 31:1, Proverbs 27:20, Matthew 15:19-20, Romans 13:13-14, 1 Corinthians 9:27, 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, and 1 John 2:15-17.
When it comes to objectification, men will search “high and low” for that symmetrical female that sexually appeals to them.
It’s all about depraved sexuality at this point.
For definition purposes, we must distinguish between, “lust” and “wife searching.”
When a man is searching for a wife, the Bible gives a single man latitude to search. A woman’s outer beauty is part of the attraction process.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”
Again, attraction is the first place. When they come together, they are “checking each other out.” That’s where dating comes in to confirm compatibility or incompatibility because after “kicking it” at the dinner table, subsequent “dates” will either happen or not happen.
A woman will work hard to make herself look attractive because the “competition” is steep as far as “outer beauty” is concerned, but when you get passed the cover, it all comes down to who you are as a person.
There must be “things in common” for things to heat up. The competition narrows when a man sees past the outer beauty by looking past her eyes and into her soul. He begins to see that she is “suitable” for his needs.
And we are not talking sexual either.
Men come with physical equipment and women come with physical equipment. Both can engage sexually with little problems. It all comes down to “can you live with each other” after sex.
When a man just objectifies a woman, all he wants is sex. That’s lust. Lust is the desiring for that which is forbidden. Jesus said that when a man looks at a woman lustfully, he committed adultery in his heart (see Matthew 5:28).
This Scripture speaks of married men. For single or divorced men, lust in the heart is according to 1 John 2:15-17. This is when a man is only looking at women to have them in their minds or to have them physically in bed.
A “brother” made a comment that revealed what they really like. Based on preponderance, it appears that he has a “symmetrical” issue when it comes to women.
Look at the quote.
“A prayer for the single woman: I pray you will lose 50 lbs (at least) of unsightly fat, stop dressing and talking like a man, learn to cook, sew and stop bad-mouthing men. Amen.”
The quote was in response to why women do not get married. To narrow it even further, it appears, (and I may be wrong), directed to African American women.
The brother that made this comment probably can’t run a half a block. He probably is overweight, out of shape and don’t do any PT (physical training) and can’t cook or sew themselves.
When objectification is at the top of the list, usually this is a clear indication of their measurement of a woman’s worth. He failed to realize that age is coming and we will not look the way we look as each year passes.
The quality of a relationship is much more important than the upkeep of the outer shell of a person. Don’t misunderstand the fact that we should take care of ourselves but when this is the only measurement that a man has for a woman, it is clear that he will soon find out that life comes and goes. What will matter most is the quality of the relationship that will be the enduring factor in the end.
Usually when a brother makes a comment like that, he may be doing too much “girl” watching. It may also be an indicator that porn or other visual affects dominates his thinking. It must be noted that he listed other features, such as cooking and sewing.
I believe it is a smoke in mirrors kind of thing to distract attention to what he really is thinking. That’s why brothers, you need to look past what you see and really look into the heart of women. There you will find more things in common than a bedroom romp.
Objectification of women lead to places of prostitution, rape, human trafficking for sex, pornography, masturbation off of sexual objectification, voyeurism (peeping Tom), exhibitionism, and other potentially dangerous forms of sexual addiction. What dangerous forms of sexual addiction? Addictions that could lead to child pornography, child abduction for sexual purposes, CSM or Child Sexual Molestation, etc.
Some of you might be saying, “How did you get there when this is about objectifying a woman’s body?”
It’s a “seamless fabric.”
It’s all connected.
Just because you are masturbating off of an image in your mind or porn, it doesn’t mean that you are disconnected from the other forms of Secret Sexual Sins.
Just as Paul said, “He that sows to the flesh, shall of the the flesh reap corruption.”
When you are having sex with yourself, you are joining yourself to the millions of others that are connecting to some form of false intimacy in the soulish realm. The soul realm is just as eternal as the spirit realm (see 1 Corinthians 6:15-16).
In some cases, it’s just a matter of time before people cross certain lines.
Now if you haven’t cross that line, and you are just objectifying as a minor sport, you need to learn how to discipline your thoughts and eyes. Second, you need to learn how to appreciate a woman as a human being. She is a person with feelings, character, intelligence, wit, wisdom, smarts, and is more to it than meets the eye.
Once you get beyond what you can do in the bedroom, what will matter most is that they are a gift from God that will bring beauty and spice in your complex world.
For my groundbreaking series on Secret Sexual Sins, please click this link…www.blogtalkradio.com/prevailingword1