PORN: A Pastor’s Quest To Break Free

It is indicated that over 50% of pastors struggle with porn.

It is an epidemic at this point. With easy access by way of the Internet and portable private devices, and other means of connecting to porn, the availability and accessibility to free porn is unlimited.

Walking out in the street and riding in the car, there is no lack of women wearing close to nothing and tight fitting clothing leaves nothing to the imagination. Women get daring at church services as well. These modern dresses above the knees and low cleavage dresses is a walking sexual time bomb. The failure to “cover up” for church service is detrimental to a man.

Truly, feminine power, unfortunately, is exhibited without regard to how it truly affects the hearts of men that desire to live holy.

For the men, Matthew 5:27-30 is quickly jettisoned and forget about the covenant with your eyes.

What is a pastor to do when temptation is around him? How can he escape the daily barrage of sexual temptation?

First, he must come to grips that there is very little that he can do about the way women dress, much less stop them from wearing sexually suggested clothing. We all know that most women desire the attention of men and will dress appropriately to get it. Even if they are married. This is not to say that women are to blame. Sadly, it is a give in.

Second, what is more important is what is going on in the mind of a man. According to Dr. William Struthers in his powerful book called “Wired For Intimacy,” we men have it bad. The responsibility is laid upon us to discipline our minds, guard our thoughts, and train our eyes. Even if it means to disrespect a woman. Not verbal reprimanding them or labeling them as hookers or whores. Just simply look in another direction. Especially you married men. Just look in another direction.

I like Stephen Arteburn’s book “Every Man’s Battle” which articulates what a man does when he is tempted to look. He instructs that a man should “bounce his eyes” else where. That’s real effective, by the way. It gives the mind little chance to “feast” on the flesh.

There are some that agree that there’s some things in his book that makes it very easy to fall into the same habits, patterns, and cycles that you are trying to break free of, but I also believe that a little honesty about what we do is necessary if we are going to be serious about breaking free.

Third, we must come to grips with the fact that grace is never an individual thing. The Lord uses other people to help us walk through the process of deliverance. We cannot see everything that goes on in our lives. The grace of God to break free comes in a variety of ways. From an accountability partner that you feel safe to share your inner secrets, to an association of fellow “valley walkers.”

With pastors, it can be a very lonely job and often, we believe that we can do it on our own. We believe that not only do we have the solutions to help others, we mistakenly believe that we can help ourselves. That means we assume the throne of God.

Well that is just another way to keep the Secret Sexual Sins embedded in our lives going a little longer. Pastors are notorious for making our lives secret and off limits to prying eyes.

We must remember that pornography is not an end in itself. It is the fuel for masturbation, prostitution, adulterous affairs, and homosexuality. No one does porn and never release sexual tension.

We as pastors must come to grips with the fact that Secret Sexual Sins is a hidden life of self deception.

The trigger that drive our out of control sex life must never be pulled. Even if the trigger is pulled, there must be enough of the love of God or love for God in us to never want to be a slave to our own bodies. As Paul said, our bodies were not created for fornication. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The moment we recognize that we are the temple where God dwells, should be the moment that we respect the purpose of the temple.

A habitation of God through the Spirit.

Steps To Break Free

1. Get Help.

Almost every starting point begins with either a discovery by your wife, or self admission of a sexual sin. The exposure, discovery, or self admission reveals that God was involved in getting you to admit your sexual sins. The thing that you have to do now is initiate getting the quality help. Sometimes we fall into the sin of denial so that we can stay attached to the porn.

Denial is just a part that remorse plays. True repentance means that you are done with Secret Sexual Sins. Remorse means that you will recover and continue in Secret Sexual Sins.

To get help, you need the help of qualified competent help to steer you and watch your progress along the way.

2. Never Make Up Your Own Rules Of Redemption.

When you make up your rules as to how long you are willing to be questioned, ministered to, and told what to watch and all, is the moment that you’ve made up in your mind that you will continue in sin. If you look at many of the men of God that prematurely cut off the path towards deliverance, they ended their sessions and resumed ministry, it is just a matter of time before they resume old habits, patterns, and cycles.

When you refuse to make up the rules and submit to a regimented discipline, it’s a good starting point.

This means that you are not in control of the amount of time that is needed to break free.

The grace of God must be worked into your life where there is a complete dismantling of trained habits, cycles and patterns for making provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh, mind, and spirit. Just as it took time to train yourself to fulfill sin, it will take time to train righteousness within you.

This is, perhaps, the most difficult part. Relinquishing control of your hidden life. But it is necessary.

3. It Takes A Willingness To Submit To Scrutiny

Let’s face it. If we could trust ourselves, we wouldn’t need the spot light. Many of our hidden lives escape scrutiny because we became masters of hypocrisy and deception. We knew how to keep a lie going. When it is time to Come Clean, the game come to an abrupt end. Besides, there comes a point where one gets tired of keeping the game going.

4. Your Wife Is Just As Hurt, If Not Worse.

The attention of sexual sins is usually upon the man, but few realize that the wives suffer the brunt of sexual sins because the betrayal entered the home when the decision was made to look lustfully at another woman. The moment we look to get help, we must also look to get meaningful help for the wife to help her through the process of your recovery.

Your wife will play a critical role in your deliverance, but you have to remember that she is a person. The worse thing that you can do is isolate yourself further and make the process of deliverance all about you. This is another form of selfishness after the fact. The goal of the deliverance is to repair the breach by reestablishing your relationship with the Lord and then repair the breach in your relationship with your wife and children, if any.

These are just some helpful steps to get started on the road to completely break free of pornography and masturbation.

MegaFest: Selling The Deal

It appears that TD Jakes is getting the Word about the apparent compromise and is on the defensive.

To defend an indefensible position, TD Jakes, said, (words to the effect) “I did not ask Oprah to preach but to share her Life Class…”

In what is considered a vain attempt to appear justified, we took note of the garments TD Jakes wore while he made his statements about MegaFest.

We also took note that he emphasized that it was a MegaFest where all sorts of things would take place. We know that there will be preaching and gospel “artists.” Whatever a gospel “artist” is these days, however, we are aware that there will be other people that will “perform” that do not know the Savior.

Elements of the world will be there, along with their entourage and their worldly baggages of sin.

Here is a promo for MegaFest just so you know who will be there that live compromised lives.

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/mega-stars-cedric-the-entertainer-mary-mary-and-more-set-to-headline-megafest-in-dallas-august-29—31-tickets-on-sale-friday-june-28-212752181.html

But notice also that One very special guest is never mentioned.

The Head of the Church. The Lord Jesus Christ.

We line up speakers, entertainers, and call it “Inspiration” and we get goose bumps about it. But if you were to mention Jesus, He never gets a standing ovation. He is left to the side. If Jesus were really there, people would never come. Jesus is only good enough in Name, not Presence.

Getting back to this justification.

The look of a Catholic Bishop with a cross, gives the appearance that he is speaking with authority. It’s one thing to stand there and give a “Thus, saith the Lord” but when you are speaking in your own authority, one need not to dress the part to give the notion that this is of God.

Sometimes, people wear the craziest things to emphasize authority.

If your words will fall to the ground or your words will never come to pass, sometimes wearing something authoritative will help sell the deal.

Here is the video on YouTube…..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyAIhHx9SKg

With the Life Class, while there are some things that we all could learn from the world that would measurably benefit man, we must realize that without Jesus, it is humanistic reasoning and theories. The Spirit of God said this to me. “Without Jesus, you must fail.”

God never intended nor does He want man to fail. God wants man to succeed. However, when you do it without the Lord, it must fail. The thing that is sad is that one can gain the whole world. Be successful in life but never have their names written in the Book of Life.

A person could leave a legacy of things that would benefit the world, yet, because they fail to get saved, it means nothing. You were handed the world, but you fail to have the Creator of the world in your heart.

The Lord demands that the human nature be changed. This is the only remedy for fallen man.

The woes of humanity is founded in the fallen nature of man. For instance, TD Jakes emphasized that he wanted to address fatherlessness. It doesn’t take much to understand that the predominance of fatherlessness is founded in fornication and adultery.

Fornication and adultery is a sin (see Hebrews 13:4).

It takes one male and one female to have sex outside of marriage to conceive a child.

To use fatherlessness as an excuse to introduce Oprah’s Life Class into MegaFest is a backdoor approach to give the appearance that what she has to offer is clearly legitimate.

Now remember what TD Jakes said.

“All sorts of things will be going on at MegaFest.”

This means that the exclusivity of the Kingship of Jesus is now on an ecumenical level.

That’s a compromise.

We can’t be an ambassador for Christ to reconcile the world to Christ when we allow ourselves to be inclusive of the things of the world. To get into the KIngdom of heaven, Jesus said “You must be born again.”

You cannot remain in the world and be in the kingdom at the same time.

We don’t mind sinners coming to partake of the festivities founded on Christ. We mind when sinners perform their brand of the world and attempt to call it Christ.

1 John 2:3-6 says, “Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.”

You can’t “perform” the wiles of the world and claim to know Him. That’s hypocrisy.

Worse, it’s wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Sin is what this is all about.

God kicked sin out of heaven. The just demands of a holy God must be met. Otherwise, the Lord made a gross mistake to send the Lord Jesus to die for our sins. I guess we all would be alright with MegaFest if Jesus didn’t die for our sins. We would be alright if Oprah was right about many ways to God. We would be all right with homosexuality if God created male and male or female and female.

We wouldn’t have a problem if light was created to mix with darkness. We wouldn’t have a problem with sin if sin was equated or equal with righteousness, but this is not the case.

God is closed minded when it comes to sin. God is close minded when it comes to His standard of righteousness. God is closed minded when it comes to the redemption of man. God is closed minded when it comes to how He demonstrated His love for man.

When will we, as preachers, get it, that God is God and we are not to be found on the wrong side of God? When will we see that the Lord means business? When will we fully comprehend that God never changed His mind about the consequences of sin and of life’s choices?

It reminds me of Israel when they wanted a king like the other nations. They didn’t want the Lord to be King because the Lord is tough. His toughness is with reason because He understands the consequences of man’s ill advised choices that goes crosswise of His expressed will.

The intent here is not to attack preachers. The intent is to get us to see that God will not be second to anyone. To rely on self is demonic. You cannot fight the ills of society apart from the only One that has the solution to man’s woes. You cannot sit there and appear to know what is best for man apart from the Word of God.

TD Jakes, why preach? Why attempt to appear authoritative in a place where God neither authorized or sanctioned someone to share their humanistic thoughts apart from the solution already established in the Word of God?

Paul told Timothy to “Preach the Word. Be instant in season and out of season…”

We must never lose heart or faint when it comes to helping people. We understand that the dullness of people’s minds is evident. Just like the children of Israel that got tired of manna from heaven, so too, the people that claim to be in the Body loath the preaching of the Word of God.

Yes, it appears that when we preach the solution over and over again, it appears that the people never get out of what they are in. Why is this?

  1. A failure to fully apply the Word that was preached.
  2. A delay because of indirect or direct demonic involvement.
  3. A clear refusal to obey the Word of God and live holy.

Or, all of the above.

It is our job to keep on preaching the Word and living the Word.

To obtain the world’s perspective about the problems of man is like asking an auto mechanic to heal a person of heart disease.

The best thing to do is to bring the exclusivity of Jesus Christ into perspective. It does us no good to allow the world to partake of the table. It is a compromise that need not have to happen. Just like there are rules in the world where certain people are not permitted until they’ve met the requirements, it is the same with the Kingdom of God.

The requirement is simple….

You must be born again.

Regarding the attempt to justify the introduction of Oprah’s Life Class, it is important to maintain the exclusivity. Otherwise, the blood Jesus shed, was shed in vain, and there is no need to masquerade as preachers.

%d bloggers like this: