1 Corinthians 6:12-13 from the Amplified Bible says “Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.
Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but [is intended] for the Lord, and the Lord [is intended] for the body [to save, sanctify, and raise it again.]”
When it comes to chronic or excessive masturbation, in Dr. Patrick Carnes book on “In the Shadows of The Net,” “compulsive is a sign of addiction.” Compulsive is defined as “an almost irresistible urge.”
Paul explains with sarcastic terms that “all things are lawful or permissible,” or that “all things is allowable.”
When it comes to sexual urges, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book on “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is hot “wired for sex.” Dr. Struthers also says that “Porn hijacks the brain.”
The moment he thinks about it, he is sexually aroused. The moment something sexual enters his periphery, he is aroused. This puts that sexually aroused man in a state that he loses self control and acts out sexually in solo sex. Because that person he observed with lust has become a sexual object, the mind engages to find a way to have that person without touching them or engaging in the normal legal or Biblical process of developing a relationship towards marriage so that sex is legal.
Instead, he violates Matthew 5:27-30. He lusts after her in his heart to have her, but he somehow never goes through the Biblical process and engages his hands to manually stimulate himself to ejaculation.
The false intimacy world is the most difficult world to escape from because for most men, it gives him a false sense of security. In that he doesn’t impregnate the woman. He doesn’t acquire any STDs. And he doesn’t have to run the risk of being denied by her should the woman in the dating process never allow him first base.
First base these days is the bedroom.
With chronic or excessive masturbation, we see that a man must allow himself to be brought under “its power.”
The word “power” is defined as “authority.”
So even though a person will declare that masturbation is permissible on the grounds of no Biblical prohibition, you still have to give your body over to masturbation. You give masturbation permission. You turn over control to be enslaved by masturbation. You come under its authority to be mastered by masturbation. Paul said, “I will not be brought under its power.”
In other words, Paul exercises dominion over his body not to be a slave to sin.
“For sin shall not have dominion over you for you are not under the law but under grace.”
Grace doesn’t excuse you to commit sin. Grace instructs you to fight against sin to remain free of it.
After masturbation, it’s too late to put up a fight.
Many of you have gotten to the point where you just couldn’t control yourself and you “make provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and mind.” Then you say to yourself that you are going to stop but who is fooling who? Usually this is remorse speaking and not repentance.
The mind begins to reason with itself that masturbation is not a sin. Although there is no Scripture in the Bible that emphatically declare that masturbation is a sin, there is one hurdle that men is never able to clear. In fact, you probably read articles about masturbation and how many men justify it as a healthy normal practice to release sexual tension. The question is asked by the Holy Spirit “Then why do you feel condemned?”
Romans 8:1-2 says “There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus that walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”
The condemnation is a hurdle that is too high to clear.
Notice what John said in 1 John 3:20-22, “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”
Do you have confidence toward God after you masturbate? If you do have confidence after you’ve sinned, then 1 John 1:5-10 applies.
Genesis 4:6-7 says “So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
God required a lamb and Cain brought fruit. God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s. Cain had that “condemned” feeling when the Lord rejected his offering but notice the progression from anger, to countenance fallen, to not doing well, to sin lying at the door. But also notice that even though sin desires you, you still have the power to rule (have dominion or govern) over it.
It’s like Abel gets married and he pleased God. Cain masturbates and God is not pleased (using it as an analogy, not that it happened). But the Lord teaches Cain how to please God. Cain you are angry, your countenance has fallen, Cain. Cain, you are not doing well. Cain, sin desires to have you but you can rule over masturbation.
The condemnation always happen. What chronic masturbators have mastered is the ability to suppress this condemnation in preparation to continue in sin. As long as we suppress this condemnation, we seek to continue in sin.
Sometimes, hopelessness sets in and something has to die.
When Cain was too upset to deal with it God’s way, he deceived himself into thinking that he could kill Abel. Cain held Abel responsible for his rejection.
This is what sexual immorality sometimes does from time to time. Men look to blame others for their own personal sins but there is a way to get out of that. Accept responsibility and rule over it.
You can’t do it alone.
You need help.
Solo sex is always about the individual and will exclude everybody. So in the same manner, most men believe that they could fix the issue themselves. More often than not, you are going to lose because the underlying issues that men hide require a set of impartial eyes and truthfully blatant objectivity.
There is no other beginning place except to get with a brother that will help you see your way out of darkness.
James said to “Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.”
When God asked Cain where his brother was, Cain’s answer is the answer for all men caught in the web of masturbation.
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”
When it comes to breaking the power of masturbation, you need someone to keep you honest.
For in the world of Secret Sexual Sins, the secrecy is what keeps us bound all the time.
As long as a man keeps his sexual secrets, he will never be free. The moment he exposes the secret to an individual he could trust or confide in, he can begin the process of dismantling the reason to be a slave to masturbation.