Sexual Immorality In The Church: Avoiding Inappropriate Contact & Appearances

Paul gives us these words in 1 Corinthians 6:18. “Flee sexual immorality.”  1 Thessalonians 5:22, Paul says to “Abstain from every form of evil.” And then Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:22 “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Paul says in Ephesians 4:27 “Nor give place to the devil.” 


The Amplified Bible says of that verse “Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him.”

Inappropriate contact and appearances included.

Your conversations with your pastor turns into a very revealing conversation.

The pastor brushes by you intentionally.

You lean over as the pastor walks by.

As the pastor walked by you, you felt his hand touching an inappropriate part of your body, but you did or did not like it.

These and other inappropriate situations happen in local churches across the country more frequently than you think, and it leads to nothing but trouble.

There are many believers and pastors that cross the line because they fail to understand that certain situations present massive opportunities to fall into sexual sins.

For instance, when having conversations with your pastor, the utmost respect must be maintained. Conversations between pastors and people can enter into areas where the lines of respect get blurred.

The more you feel at liberty to discuss certain areas and issues, the more you potentially open the door to have conversations that get real personal. A male pastor must maintain the utmost respect by remembering that people are people. Pastors are people too but when the lines of communications are crossed, it is very easy to engage in inappropirate conversations.

Paul said this in Ephesians 4:29 “Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.”

Opening up the heart and mind potentially leads to illegally opening the zipper and blouse.

Illegal connections of the heart and mind leads to illegal sexual connections.

Another area that must be addresed is when two persons of the opposite sex that is not married are seen in a location by themselves.

Such appearances has the potential to get out of hand.

When Jesus entered the house of Mary and Martha, would it be considered an inappropriate move? First we must understand that Jesus is fully Lord but He was also fully human. The potential for the appearance of inappropriate contact and appearances was very high. But looking at the power of God operating in Jesus, no man can work the works of God with known or secret sin.

Then there are the current lies of the devil based on Jesus’ associations with Mary and Martha that he married Mary Magdalene (a prostitute whom He cast out seven devils) and had children.

Then there was the woman that came in with an alabaster box of expensive oil. She poured it on Jesus. Then there was the woman with many sins that cried tears on the feet of Jesus and she wiped the tears off His feet with her hair, for her sins were many.

While we know that Jesus is disciplined and He is the Lord, even for Him, these acts done to Him gives the appearance of inappropriate contact and appearances.



Everyone has an opinion and it’s sometimes based on preconceived perception.

In other words, they’ve premeditated and etched in stone their perception about you.

You see, a person sometimes will only see what their mind tells them. Sometimes a person’s perception can be entirely warped or bent out of shape. No matter what you tell them, the sky is green. They will insist with strong persistence because that’s what they firmly believe. They will not change even when facts are presented to refute the appearance.

So the best thing to do is avoid giving people the chance that something is going on.

Joseph failed to exercise judgment with Potiphar’s wife. She was nothing but trouble because she lusted after him. Joseph was a young, strong, good looking unmarried Hebrew. She declared him as sexually available, but she was already married.

First of all, Joseph knew full well that to have tail on the side would be a sin against God.

Second, he knew that if he messed with a powerful man’s wife, it would cost him prison or death.

Only a fool would even think about it. Thoughts turn into actions very quickly. When sound judgment and discretion is thrown to the wind, a man will never be released from the prison of disgrace or reproach.

Joseph’s discipline saved him from certain death. Even though the inappropiate appearance took place, and because of the hand of the Lord upon Joseph, he was spared death. I honestly believe that Potiphar knew what his wife was up to and instead of having Jospeh killed, Potiphar just put him in prison.

As a side note, the Lord knew that this would happen. But it goes to show you that despite the circumstances of a minor lapse of judgment, because Jospeh wouldn’t sin against God, the faithfulness of Joseph brought the favor of God on him later.

Joseph chose divine favor over demonic foolishness.

​For his sexual discipline, Joseph was rewarded.

reward from God is far better than the reproach of God and man because of 20 minutes of illegal sex.

But this serves as a lesson to everyone.

Never be found in compromising situations.


Go by the two by two rule ladies. 

If you know that you are going to go somewhere where there is a man by himself, it is highly unlikely that a man is going to do something when other eyes on present. I realize that conspiracy can take place as well. Two women can conspire against a single male. However, the man must do everything in his power to move quickly away from presenting the opportunity. A man will not know that a conspiracy is about to unfold. So he has to use massive discretion.

Brothers, if you see that something is not right, never assume that it’s just your imagination. Just quickly move from that location or have other eyes present to protect you.

In today’s society, all a woman has to do is say, “Rape,” and the police will not hesitate to lock a man up.

While men can be predators, when a woman doesn’t get what she want in consentual illegal sex, all she has to do is mention that she was raped and his life is ruined. If he touched you, and there is indisputable evidence, he will do time. If a woman lied and he is still put in jail, nothing will be able to undo the injustice in the natural. He will be watched for the rest of his life. However, should he be innocent in the eyes of God, the vengeance of God will come on the woman in unimaginable ways.

Let’s heed Paul’s admonition and never put ourselves in compromising situations.

Let’s use the wisdom of God at all times.

Author: prevailing word ministries

My wife, Valeria and I are the pastors of Prevailing Word Ministries in Brooklyn, NY. We have one daughter, Sherylynne. We are all authors. The Holy Spirit and You, by pastor Valeria, Altered Destiny, A Hustler's Choice, by Sheryl, and The Minister's Crucible and Secret Sexual Sins, by pastor Fred. Please visit to listen to our groundbreaking series "Secret Sexual Sins. You may download it free of charge from iTunes.

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