There are many, men in particular, that give nonchalant responses to make it appear that they are not under porn’s power.
There is no humility, contriteness of heart, godly sorrow, and desire to please the Lord. They deflect intense questioning by avoiding the obvious issue of personal discipline. They run from accountability, prayer, obedience to the Word resulting in personal discipline. They believe it isn’t necessary. Their form of godliness is a ploy. They know how to give lip service as their heart is far from God. When they sit in front of their accountability partner, they play like they haven’t struggled.
They make believe that everything is fine and usually it’s a dead give away that you relapsed back into porn and masturbation.
Little do they know that those of us that have walked in this same deception can smell sin a mile a way. We don’t know everything like God but there are certain undeniable signals that indicate that you’ve been playing with yourself.
Since we’ve been delivered, we know what it looks like to keep a secret and play like we haven’t sinned. They always give the appearance that they are in control but we all know that they are raging on the inside of their flesh and mind. They can’t wait until the pressure to come clean is off so that they could resume the business of flesh. In fact, you’ve already planned out what you are going to do that evening when the lights go off and when your wife is asleep, or in another room.
Your wife still feels you are distant, cold and rarely engage in meaningful sex. In fact, she feels dirty when you have sex. It feels like you have brought what you were watching into the bedroom. Furthermore, you ask her to do certain things that you’ve watched porn stars do and she refused.
You get frustrated, and cut your wife off as you return to porn and masturbation to satisfy your perverted sexual fantasy.
Does any of this sound like you?
It’s because they are still mastered by masturbation and porn.
Listen to the words of Paul by the Spirit of God in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
When it comes to porn an masturbation, we see that those that do not take the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ serious enough, they are under “its power.”
In Romans 6:14 Paul also said this.
“For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”
The reason why sin cannot have dominion over us is because the Lord Jesus broke the power of sin when the Father placed upon the Lord Jesus our sin. The power and guilt of sin was thoroughly destroyed and the devil who had power can no longer hold men in bondage.
Hebrews 2:14-15 says “Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.”
Jesus took on flesh and by living a sinless life, conquered the power and guilt of sin. It was at this point that on the cross, the Father was able to put on Jesus the sin of the whole world and did a threefold work.
- He lived sinless.
- He became an appeasing sacrifice.
- He put away the power of sin.
So what is holding you back from walking free from porn and masturbation?
The answer is found in your will to yield to the broken power of sin.
It’s no different than a cop putting handcuffs on you that can’t lock.
No different than a correction officer placing you in a jail cell and leaving the door open for you to walk out at anytime.
Hence, what Paul said is true.
You are not brought under the power of porn and masturbation.
However, because of your desire to fulfill the lust in your mind and flesh, you allow yourself to be ruled by it. You allow yourself to be governed by it. You allow it to be your god. You obey your god of lust.
At any time you can walk away from porn and masturbation. Because Jesus broke the power of sin, there is nothing that the devil could do to lock the handcuffs or close the prison door.
So being that the Lord Jesus did the hard work on the cross, paid our debt in full, and released us from this bondage, what are you willing to do to maintain your freedom?
When I was into masturbation, I looked for an accelerant. Porn became that accelerant which took me further than I wanted to go. When I was dealing with sexual sins, the demons behind the power were pulling me further into the dark world of sexual perversion.
In this dark world, I began to accept watching threesome sex where homosexuality is part of the package.
Then it pulls you into thinking about prostitution, fornication, and adultery where acting out what pleasure you are seeing becomes an insatiable desire. You cannot watch porn, masturbate, and not be tempted to take things to the next level.
When you are dealing with masturbation, it is pretend sex. You are imagining having sex with that person. There comes a point where you will be tempted, if you haven’t already, to move from pretend to reality. Men and women get frustrated in watching others perform because they want to participate in experiencing their pleasure.
Not realizing that you are being lured into the bottomless dark abyss of sexual immorality.
It is there that the bite is almost inescapable.
It’s like watching seals trying to evade the bite of the shark. Sooner or later, the shark will get it. It’s just a matter of time.
For most people, they desire to break free but each time, the pleasure becomes overwhelming. You become hooked and you refuse to let it go. For some, no matter what incentive is given to be holy and pure before God, you find yourself touching yourself sexually. For some, the coming of the Lord could happen at any moment, yet, because of the desire to fulfill a sexual fantasy, who cares about the Lord’s coming?
Revelation 21:8 is incentive enough for me.
The sexually immoral will be cast into the lake which burns with fire and brimstone.
Sadly, this will not be enough incentive for they have “…no fear of God before their eyes.”
One of the beautiful things about the Lord is that He is “not willing than any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
In other words, your hopelessness is not finite until you pass into eternity without repentance and faith towards God.
Billions by the end of the day will have clicked a porn site to masturbate off of it. You do not have to be one of them.
The same grace that was offered to me to set me free from sin to never sin porn and masturbation again is available to you.
Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.”
You have to trust the Lord that He will satisfy that deep longing in your heart to where you do not need porn and masturbation any more. That’s what faith is about. The willingness to trust God for the rest of your life to do without porn and masturbation.
It’s up to you to refuse to yield to its power.
Here are some recommended steps.
- Prayer and fasting. Fasting food, television, Internet, magazines, social media, evil connections of friends, etc.
- Eyes on your life. It’s called accountability. Someone that you not only feel safe with, but someone that is willing to hold your feet to the fire to help you when you are tempted.
- Read your Bible every day. Recommended Scriptures….Psalm 119:9-11, Job 31:1, Proverbs 27:20, Matthew 5:27-30, Matthew 6:22-23; Romans 13:11-14, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18; 7:1; Ephesians 6:10-18; Romans 12:1-2, Hebrews 4:12-16; Romans chapter 6 and chapter 8. 1 Corinthians 9:27, Galatians 5:22. 1 Corinthians 10:13.
- Radical Amputation. The willingness to disconnect yourself from watching movies, shows, and other forms of entertainment known to have sex in any form that arouses the senses. Including removing or disconnecting televisions, satellite, cable, and internet connections at home. The willingness to avoid watching sports, morning, afternoon or evening news and weather channels known to have sexy women and shows that are known to have commercials with sex themes to sell items. Avoid books, magazines, fitness magazines, and other material that may bait or plant a seed to entice or incite the flesh and mind.
This is how you exercise your senses to discern both good and evil according to Hebrews 5:12-14.
It’s very easy to receive the initial deliverance. The work is in the maintenance of the deliverance. How bad do you want to keep your deliverance?
If you do these three things every day and don’t look back, if you put your full faith and trust on the grace of the Lord, you will not be brought under its power for the rest of your life.