Pastor. How Did YOU Get Into Porn?

Matthew 5:27-30 (NKJV Strong’s)

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Matthew 6:22-23 (NKJV Strong’s)

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

James 1:14-15 (NKJV Strong’s)

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

Romans 6:12-13 (NKJV Strong’s)

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”

I want to start off with these Scriptures because it’s there that you will find that if I had exercised discretion, I wouldn’t have to explain this sin in my life.

In my book Secret Sexual Sins, in the intro part, I’ve shared my introduction to pornography. But I won’t get into that.

What I want to get into is the resurgence of porn.

I was already inflamed with sexual immorality with the imaginations of my heart and fulfilling them in self gratification, commonly called masturbation.

When lust controls you, the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” wasn’t matured in me. As a young teenager, everyone experiences puberty and when these sexual aspects become aroused in you, all you need is accelerants and the rest is history.

As a born again believer, with these hormones raging “youthful lusts” were well underway. I was shy and an introvert so approaching girls wasn’t my thing. I was able to bridal this until marriage.

But most boys do explore sexuality.

Fast forward to 1996. While watching Directv, I noticed channels that provided PPV. I vowed never to explore those channels. It worked for a season until 1996.

In 1994, we’ve restarted our work in the ministry. After serving under my pastor, it was time to resume my pursuit of planting a local church. In following my pastor, we would attend ministerial conferences. These conferences fed us information to solidify the ministry.

We would buy books and tapes. I came across a tape for music ministers.

So to help our team to be proficient in our praise and worship in our local church, I had passed a tape to our music minister. Our music minister promptly returned the tape to me. On my job, I had a way to watch videos and I wanted to watch the video again. It was that powerful.

But my music minister called me on my cell phone and warned me not to look at the video.

Instantly, my interest aroused because he never tipped me off to what happened. Evidently, he put the wrong tape in the sleeve. I removed the video and played it.

It was soft porn.

I won’t elaborate the difference between soft and hard core porn.

But it would be there that my Secret Sexual Sins would reemerge and be established.

From 1996 to 2008, I would be a regular visitor on Directv at home.

On the job, when laptops became affordable, I would engage in viewing pornography. So much so that finally it got to the point where it affected my wife and she noticed a significant change in our relationship.

What was I supposed to do?

First, I never should have looked at the tape. Second, I should have given it back to the music minister and ask him what was on it. Third, if he refused to inform me what was on the tape, to let him go (relieve him of his duties).

I didn’t do any of the above. I swept it under the rug.

The music minister never should have been blamed for MY DECISION to watch the tape.

Decisions Determines Destiny.

He can’t be blamed for the lusts that was in my heart. And even if he were in possession of porn, I would not have known if he had put the right tape in the right sleeve. It would have remained a secret.

And perhaps, it may have never been known.

But this is a major problem in the houses of worship that we sweep these things under the rug and God isn’t pleased. We hide what we do in secret and destroy our lives. We play church in the presence of God in hypocrisy.

One of the last major messages of the Lord Jesus before He was crucified was Matthew 23 where He preached on hypocrisy. It was a stinging message to spiritual leadership.

What we do in secret is what we offer before the Lord when we worship Him in service.

It would be one day in November 2008 that when my wife drove to go to the store. We were in a brand new house that the Lord gave us. It was a miracle that the Lord gave us.

As soon as she left, I turned on porn. Right there, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Is this how you treat Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”

It would be then that the Lord called me out.

As I was watching CNN before it became a bad network, there would be a pastor in Texas that was interviewed about his involvement in porn. He confessed his sin on international TV and I was compelled to tell my story.

Instead of the Lord exposing my sin, I put my sin out there during a Sunday morning service.

Without getting into details about who was involved and what was done, I passed out a newsletter to all of the men.

And I gave a copy to my music minister. The one that gave me the tape by accident.

A leader in my church was in the middle of adultery while he was a deacon. Sexual immorality was heavily ingrained in the house of worship.

But it wasn’t just a male thing. Women in other houses of worship were involved in other areas but not on the level of the men.

This area of sexual immorality is connected to abortion and when you start dealing with abortion, you’re addressing the sexual issues of women in how you consent to sex but also consent to the murder of a baby to cover the shame of the sin.

If you take away the man made legal but immoral by God, sin of abortion, you’re hitting the third rail.

Adultery and fornication is the fuel for abortion.

Women will cover their sexual sins just as men do.

When contraceptives aren’t used, whether by force or choice, should a woman choose to go full term, it’s a chance to entrap a man to monetarily support her.

This is all happening in SOME of our houses of worship.

So when we deal with porn, there’s a serious underworld in the houses of worship, that if we fail to address it, we’re a night club, and not the holy house of God that we’re supposed to be.

Author: prevailing word ministries

My wife, Valeria and I are the pastors of Prevailing Word Ministries in Brooklyn, NY. We have one daughter, Sherylynne. We are all authors. The Holy Spirit and You, by pastor Valeria, Altered Destiny, A Hustler's Choice, by Sheryl, and The Minister's Crucible and Secret Sexual Sins, by pastor Fred. Please visit BlogTalkRadio.com to listen to our groundbreaking series "Secret Sexual Sins. You may download it free of charge from iTunes.