Giving In To Your Sexual Struggles?

Galatians 5:16-21 (NKJV)

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Notice what Paul by the Holy Spirit shared about these things. In particular, adultery, fornication (porn), uncleanness (extravagant immorality-escort), lewdness (unbridled shameless lust).

Sexual immorality always takes you further than you’re willing to go. To levels never imagined. If we give into to one level of sexual immorality, we find ourselves going further, and further.

But every lustful desire have a genesis. It starts out with perceived innocence and then leads you into places of no shame.

Sexual struggles is common in many believers. The urges and impulses within the flesh and the desire of the mind to be sexually satisfied. We call it a struggle but what is it. It’s only a struggle IF we’re found fighting against it for a season and when the mind is convinced that it will give us unspeakable pleasure, the struggle ends.

Look at what Paul said.

“The flesh lusts (wars/is hostile) against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.”

It’s a constant battle and either one must win. And yes, the man that willingly desires to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and mind will succeed against the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God is battling with your mind and is bringing every one of His resources to get you to see that you’re heading to violate the covenant relationship with the Lord.

Sin violates the covenant relationship and it breaks your fellowship with God.

When you’re convinced that a moment of pleasure is worth it, the Holy Spirit didn’t accept defeat. Here’s why?

Unless God requires your soul, He will return and give you 1 John chapter 1 and chapter 2:1-6.

The Holy Spirit wants to teach you how to gain victory over sin so you struggle with sin no more.

The struggle happens even after you have learned how to escape when the Holy Spirit teaches you. but you’ve learned to quickly respond to the Holy Spirit, as opposed to ignoring Him.

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 is very clear.

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

In order to give in to sexual struggles, you have to convince yourself that the benefits outweigh the risks.

But what is the true risk?

Falling into sin. You see, Romans 6:23 is the payment.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

When we believe we could get away with it, we’re not thinking about the wages. That’s how the pleasures of sin blind our minds. We give in because we’ve convinced ourselves that our salvation sealed us in such a way, that we practice unrighteousness with impunity.

We guarantee that while a person sins, there’s a 100% certainty that everyone looks over their shoulder.

Can you say with 100% certainty, that you got away with it? That God will not bring a charge against you? That’s God will “wink” at it?

The 10 Commandments is the “knowledge of sin.”

The only way to get 100% certainty is trusting in the shed blood of Jesus and your repentance.

But there’s also the willingness to depart from iniquity. Not continue to participate in it after repentance from dead works and faith towards God. Then living a sanctified life for the rest of your days.

What makes a Christian a Christian?

A clear departure from sin. But you can’t do this on your own, according to Ephesians 2:8-10 and Titus 3:5.

The absolute truth that you’ve been born again is a clear departure from sin, and obedience to the commandments of Jesus according to Matthew 7:21-29 and James 1:22-27.

In 1 John 3, we see that believers need to walk in this.

1 John 3:4-9 (NKJV)

“Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.

Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.

Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.

When we see difficult passages like this that require more of us, it’s because we allow our struggles to talk us out of obedience to difficult passages that require more of us.

We easily surrender to the impossibility of this passage. But how come we say regularly that “with God all things are possible,” but we put a disclaimer on 1 John 3?

Is it possible to be born of GOD, and not sin?

Look at Proverbs 4:23 and 1 John 5:18-19.

The problem is what we allow and meditate on. We never focus on what the Lord requires of us that would cost us.

The other side is that we focus too much on our ability to produce without the help of the Lord. We do it with our own strength and power and in moments of weakness, we give in to our struggles.

Jesus said in John 15:5, “….without Me you can do nothing.”

The Holy Spirit gives us the grace that we need to run to the Savior and to His Word to overcome and have victory over our minds and flesh.

Self discipline is the ability of the believer to rely on the help of the Holy Spirit to control the flesh and mind.

Galatians 5:22-26 (NKJV)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 9:27 (NKJV)

“But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”

When we work together with the Holy Spirit, the Lord will show us what we need to look for, listen to the Holy Spirit’s warning, and obey the Holy Spirit every time. When we choose to listen to the Holy Spirit every time, it’s possible not to sin.

But you have to be willing to listen to the Holy Spirit EVERY TIME.

The Secret Life Of Sexual Sins

Romans 2:16 (NKJV) “… in the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel.”

We all assume that our secrets are safe. That no one will find out what we’ve done in secret. It’s in the hidden places that we find safety and security. That no one really knows who we are and what we’ve done.

The false sense of security that many professed believers have is that if we sin, we could quickly ask the Lord for forgiveness and it’s like we’ve achieved a free pass to cross into darkness, and then cross back into getting right with God in less than a second.

But if we really look at it, we’re abusing the grace of God.

What is it like before God?

Before the Lord, it looks like we could slap Him in the face and not get slapped back. We plea the blood of Jesus before His judgment gets a good head of steam to smack us.

Paul mentioned this about those that take communion.

1 Corinthians 11:27-32 (NKJV)

“Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.

For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”

How many times have I taken communion in an unworthy manner?

Thousands of times.

I remember the instruction of the Lord that was given to the man healed at the pool of Bethesda. The Lord Jesus instructed him, “Go, and sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.”

Is it possible to sin no more?

Absolutely. We can stop sinning anytime we want. Well, look at it like this. To sin, you have to stop being righteous.

Porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation is a stronghold that need to be completely demolished.

Many people struggle with porn and masturbation because it’s an intense pleasure with instant gratification without involving yourself with a person. But look carefully at what the Lord Jesus said about the thoughts of adultery in the hearts of people.

Matthew 5:27-28 (NKJV)

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matthew 15:18-20 (NKJV)

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man…”

You see, what the heart does is that we look to do things in secret and then it manifests outwardly.

Remember what James 1:14-15 (NKJV) says?

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

The place where we can’t see is where desire and enticement is conceived. It then takes us to the next level. It gives birth to sin. And deep inside, where it’s not seen, death takes place. A severance from life. But even worse.

The trap door of departure of this life. Go back to communion. One of the things that Paul said is that those that take communion. “Fall asleep.” This is the physical judgment of a sin not crucified or brought to the place of mortification.

Our secret lives will be brought out by Jesus and judged.

At the time of committing the sin, we’re not concerned about the Lord Jesus judging us. We’re concerned about fulfilling the desires of the flesh and mind. The pleasure it brings. But it’s a false pleasure. What we’ve done is that we’ve suppressed any sense of judgment because we’re looking forward to that pleasure of secret sexual sin.

But this happens all of the time.

After the climax, a sense of guilt hits us like a ton of bricks.

It’s our conscience informing us that we’ve sinned. No one escapes the conscience because the Lord placed this in us to let us know that we’ve sinned against Him. Just because you ignore it or even suppress it, doesn’t mean that it won’t tell on you.

1 John 3:20-22 (NKJV)

“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”

“If our heart condemns us” is your conscience. The word science means knowledge.

Look at the etymological origin of the word.

“Middle English (also in the sense ‘inner thoughts or knowledge’): via Old French from Latin conscientia, from conscient- ‘being privy to’, from the verb conscire, from con- ‘with’ + scire ‘know’.”

So con (with) science (knowledge).

God placed this in you because you are with knowledge about right and wrong. As soon as you do something, your conscience will let you know whether it’s right or wrong.

So with porn and masturbation, you can argue to pursue it with some of the best arguments in the world, but your conscience will not agree with an argument that is wrong. Why? Because God created you with a conscience. Even if you didn’t know the Scriptures, the conscience will immediately inform you of what’s right or wrong.

Now Romans 3:20 we see that “…by the law is the knowledge of sin.”

But you already know that lying is wrong. You already know that murder is wrong. You already know that stealing is wrong. You already know that when you look at a man or woman with lust in your heart, it is wrong. You already know that when you’re hostile towards your father and mother, you’re wrong. You already know that when you’re on the witness stand and you bear false witness, you’re wrong. You know that when you use the name of the Lord in vain, you’re wrong. You already know that when you want what a person has and you’re willing to do anything wrong to take it, it’s wrong.

So it is with porn and masturbation.

The only reason why people watch porn is to pretend to have sex with that person or persons, to release sexual tension through masturbation.

You’re struggling with this because it’s so much apart of your life that everything revolves around it.

Everything suffers in order for you to achieve the pleasure with a false sense of impunity. You don’t think it will harm anyone because you’re doing it in secret to release sexual tension. But deep within you, your conscience is telling you that you’re wrong.

Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.

Could you honestly say that you have complete 100% confidence towards God?

To masturbate, you don’t need an image of another person. All you need is the ability to pretend to have sex.

2 Timothy 3:4-5 (NKJV)

“…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power.”

The world of fantasy is the world of being selfish.

It takes a complete willingness to do without this pleasure.

The Lord Jesus gives the solution. Radical amputation. Plucking out the eye(s), cutting off the hand(s) (see Matthew 5:29-30 and Hebrews 12:4). What are we willing to do to stop sinning sexually? To what lengths are we willing to avoid being cast into hell, soul and body?

When you have reached this place, porn and masturbation becomes a thing of the past because you don’t want to harbor secrets that the Lord will judge us for. We don’t want to assume that we’re saved and be found in hell because we were in sin all of the time.

Those that have a form of godliness are pretenders. Masquerading around as believers when all the time, we faked our way. Fooling others but never fooling the Lord.

Pretending ended for me when the Lord showed me the trap door. At anytime, I could have slipped through into hell because I loved sinning sexual sins in secret. Pretending to ask God for forgiveness but returning to sin again.

My request for forgiveness was a figment of my imagination. Pretending to be godly, but it was without power.

The trap door would have opened, I would have descended into hell, and I would have deserved it.

“The soul that sins it shall die.”

God doesn’t lie and He is deadly serious.

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