When Your Husband Is Watching Porn Or Watching Other Women

Proverbs 27:20 (NKJV)

“Hell and Destruction are never full;
So the eyes of man are never satisfied.”

Job 31:1 (NKJV)

“I have made a covenant with my eyes;
Why then should I look upon a young woman?”

Some of you will blush, and that’s natural. But if we’re really serious about keeping our holiness before the Lord, we will address our flesh issues.

Men are sight stimulated. If men are attracted to women, it’s because of his ability to search to look at someone that caught his eyes. But a man is either looking to lust or admiring beauty.

This is a very fine line because in less than a nano second, the thoughts of his mind can easily cross the line into lusting with his heart.

Matthew 5:27-30 (NKJV)

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

So how will a wife or girlfriend know that your husband or boyfriend is looking to lust after another woman?

Sometimes, a man will look a long time to “soak” in the view. But if you’re truthful, it takes a man less than a second to store what his eyes have seen.

There’s essentially a combination of three places that a man will look to lust.

  1. The eyes and hair.
  2. The waist and the hips.
  3. The cleavage, legs, crotch, and the gluteus Maximus.

I know that the blushing has started, but if you’re brutally honest with yourself, this is exactly what lust is about. But this is how a man is attracted to the beauty of another woman for the purpose of having an immoral sexual encounter.

Either he will fantasize about it, or take things to the next level and engage in adultery.

Disconnections are clear when he’s no longer sexually attracted to you. For whatever reason. But it’s about his heart relationship with God.

To commit adultery in the flesh, he must commit adultery against God.

It all boils down to what’s in the heart of man.

Matthew 15:18-20 (NKJV)

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”

The eyes of a man is the door to his heart and mind.

Matthew 6:22-23 (NKJV)

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

So the intent of the heart drives him and his eyes betrays or justifies him.

It takes a while to train yourself to watch your husband’s eyes. But the moment that you catch him, you can’t blow up in his face on the spot because it’s not wise to create a scene.

If he’s showed violent tendencies, it’s best to wait until there’s a more appropriate time to confront him.

But eventually, when you see that he’s consistently looking at women, and doing it in front of your face, there comes a point where you need to say something.

As far as porn is concerned, he will not signal to you that he’s watching porn because he’s not just watching porn and then he turns it off.

He’s masturbating while being stimulated with his eyes. He’s pretending to have sex with that image. So as a wife, if you’re wondering why there’s no intimacy, this is where he is.

But he may have taken it to another level.

He may be paying for sex with prostitutes who are involved in porn, or are high end escorts, or adult club dancers.

This is fornication, adultery, idolatry, which is covetousness (see Colossians 3:5 and Exodus 20:14 & 17).

This is grounds for divorce (see Matthew 19:9).

A husband must not give in to his desires. He must crucify his flesh. When it comes to sex with another woman, the end will always be the same. There’s no real satisfaction achieved.

But let’s return to the heart and mind.

Ephesians 2:1-3 (NKJV)

And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,

among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

James 1:14-15 (NKJV)

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

So what’s a wife to do?

If you choose to confront him, you need to understand that this is a man’s high place. He may have claimed to be saved, claim to love God and His Word, but his flesh isn’t crucified. The husband will fight to keep this stronghold.

Sex is a very powerful tool. When immorality sets in, the dopamine that is secreted into the blood stream feels good and to suddenly go at him when he’s unrepentant, it will be a very volatile moment.

You must be prepared for the fact that he will be in complete denial because it’s just like when the light comes on, or taking a toy away from a child. The man will do everything in his power never to surrender.

And that’s where the Word and prayer must be your place of combating the forces of the will of man and demons. It’s difficult to do prayer and the Word because you’re emotionally distraught. You’re completely devastated. An act of deception and betrayal took place and your world fell apart.

Discovery hurts.

But you can’t remain hurt. It can’t go on forever. There comes a point where something has to be done.

And this is where God incrementally bring things into his life to break him.

When God breaks a man, either he will submit to the chastisement of the Lord, falling on the stone, or be grounded into powder.

Matthew 21:44 (NKJV)

“And whoever falls on this stone will be broken; but on whomever it falls, it will grind him to powder.”

God know just what will break a man, but also, it’s known for man to ignore that God is using every means necessary to save him. Because we must remember. His soul is at stake.

Yes, your marriage is at stake too, but should he remain unrepentant, his soul will be lost.

Hopefully, he will turn from his wicked ways and return to the Lord with a repentant heart, and eventually take serious steps to repair his relationship with you.

Hillsong. A Haven For Sexual Immorality Spirits?

The leader of Hillsong, Brian Houston, has been charged with child sex abuse.

What’s been happening, not just at Hillsong, but all around the world, is a strong spirit of lust is operating in many places that purport to be true houses of worship.

Try not to skip reading this entire chapter.

2 Peter 2 (NKJV)

But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction.

They’ll be among the people that will secretly bring in destructive heresies. They hold their cards to their chest and then put the cards on the table after they feel secure enough that they’ve won your trust.

How are they doing it now? They sing great Bible affirming songs. That’s how they lure the unsuspecting. After your emotions are high, you’re disarmed. Your guard is down, and that’s when you’re the most vulnerable.

And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed. By covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words; for a long time their judgment has not been idle, and their destruction does not slumber.

Many will follow their destructive ways. MANY. The mega church. Not all of them (2000+ is considered mega). We don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. But when you have a large audience, it’s ripe for false doctrine and its teachers. Then out of no where. They blaspheme the truth by establishing their own personal doctrine as the doctrine above the Bible.

Then by covetousness, they exploit you with deceptive words. You’re disarmed. You give beyond your means. You max out your credit card. Empty your bank account. You spend only to get robbed. God sends a word of rebuke and repentance (Revelation chapters 2 and 3), but they refuse to repent.

For if God did not spare the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved for judgment; and did not spare the ancient world, but saved Noah, one of eight people, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood on the world of the ungodly; and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly;

Just like Sodom and Gomorrah, and Noah’s days. Noah preached for 100 years. Why? God was long-suffering, kind, merciful, and compassionate. Yet, they went their way of immorality. Tick Tock. Time’s up for them. With Sodom and Gomorrah, when the 2 angels came into the city, that should have been a big signal to repent or be destroyed.

and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds)— then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment,

and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority. They are presumptuous, self-willed. They are not afraid to speak evil of dignitaries, whereas angels, who are greater in power and might, do not bring a reviling accusation against them before the Lord.

But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption, and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you,

having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;

When you see the video, married men, full of lust. They can’t keep their hands off of other women. In one instance, one man working for Hillsong, had eyes of adultery and cannot cease from sin, enticed a young woman that was unstable. How was she unstable when she was trapped behind a locked door?

An immoral man knows who to look for. Women that do not have their wits about them. Not every woman is like this. The women in this report didn’t appear to be unstable. Stable women can see that they’re being targeted and will NEVER put themselves in a vulnerable position.

but he was rebuked for his iniquity: a dumb donkey speaking with a man’s voice restrained the madness of the prophet. These are wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest, for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.

For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage.

Did you see the doctrine in use? “You’re free.” “While they promise them liberty.”

And through this doctrine, many are deceived. Just as Peter said, they’re slaves of corruption to bring others into bondage.

For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them.

People come out of one mess of sin and then end up in another. Not only those that were sadly targeted and abused, but the ones that promise to never be caught in bondage again, only to return to bondage to commit more corruption and sexual sins.

But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: “A dog returns to his own vomit,” and, “a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.”

Peter, by the Holy Spirit, accurately describes the condition of ANY house of worship that sing great songs and preach strange doctrines, and then in private, commit secret sexual sins.

It was hard to watch 60 Minutes Australia’s report on Hillsong Australia and New York.

There’s two sides to every story, but this story was compelling. But just because something is “compelling” (Christie B Ford/Kavanaugh), it’s doesn’t make it true. Even a compelling lie sounds true until fully examined and the truth emerges.

The leader of Hillsong, Australia, Brian Houston, has been charged with child sex abuse.

The leader of Hillsong New York, Carl Lentz, committed adultery.

So far, the end result isn’t repentance from dead works but perversion.

Years ago, the Lord told me that it wouldn’t be the last. And He’s been true to His word because immoral men and women are around.

I’m convinced that sexual immorality is the “high place” of satan’s dwelling.

Why?

in 2008, there were 298 million Internet porn sites. Today, there’s well over 302 million Internet porn sites and growing.

So between 2008 and 2021, 4 million NEW porn sites, or more, have been added to the World Wide Web in the United States.

Now Brian Houston was charged and if the charges are frivolous, then whoever falsely charged him, are liars, bearing false witness.

While there may be a good possibility that Brian never watched porn, it would be slanderous to conclude an assumption that porn fueled his alleged habits of child sexual abuse.

However, there’s a good chance that Carl Lentz and Brian Houston may have been watchers of porn, whether in the past, or current. Usually, they lead to fulfilling their sexual immoral fantasies. They move from fantasy to reality. Or perhaps they were involved in both.

Should Brian Houston be found guilty, God gave him space to repent and they refused.

You can see the report from 60 Minutes Austrailia here