At The End Of The Rope In Your Marriage

There was an elderly couple that were holding hands. The wife was lying on the couch and her husband was holding her hand.

It was her last moments in her life and all she wanted at that moment was the touch of her husband’s hand. She wanted to savor the moment of knowing that she was loved by her husband.

A few moments later, assured of her husband’s caring touch that she knew would be there, she closed her eyes for the final time.

The years of being together for decades, came to an end. She made her last moment with him to count.

As the saying goes when a minister performs the vows, ““Till death, do you part.”

We don’t realize the power of these words until they become a reality.

With a husband and wife, there will be times when you wished you had another mate, and it’s because of certain events that strain a relationship. For either the male or the female, there’s that one moment of contemplating adultery.

For men, all it takes is when the eyes start searching for flesh.

After a traumatic moment in the marriage, a man will look to “reward” himself in sex. Dr. Archibald Hart stated that “Sex is the best pick me up.” When a man wants to reward himself or make himself feel better, he intuitively look for sex because of the reward drug, “dopamine,” is excreted into the blood stream and gives man a pleasurable satisfaction.

He seldomly will look to the person that they may have had an argument with (the wife) for sex. He will usually start looking a sexually provocative women, either on the street, at work, on the Internet.

In secret, he lusts after the flesh of women. In secret, he will fantasize about having sex with her, engulfed in masturbation. But the demons are always there to suggest to you to take it to the next level.

To strip joints where prostitutes, who are porn stars, will be available.

But the completely obsessed man will take things too far.

On the level of a Ted Bundy.

He becomes a serial rapist, and will take it to the level of rape and murder.

This is the world of sexual immorality where men will go to extremes because of an event in a marriage.

For wives, they feel disconnected from the husband because of certain events, whether caused by either party. She will look for a man that would sit down and confide with. She finds a man.

Probably a professional like a marriage counselor, a pastor or minister, or a lawyer. She wants to be listened to. Reassured. Comforted. Protected. Loved.

Some of these “professionals” are either “predators, or wanderers.”

Perhaps, they too, are in a strained relationship and take things to the next level.

Looking to take advantage of a vulnerable woman. At the right moment, he incrementally secures her trust.

Then, he moves from behind the desk, to sit next to her. He puts his hand on her hand. Then rubbing his hand, to holding her, then to kissing her, then the bed room.

She realizes her mistake but it’s too late. She gives in to her vulnerabilities, and the rest is history.

All because your marriage was on the ropes.

Sinning against God is no excuse. Hebrews 13:4 is clear.

The husband and the wife need to reconcile their differences before their differences turn into an irreconcilable difference.

Many couples assume that they’re at the end of the rope, not realizing that they have more rope to go.

According to the Lord Jesus in Matthew 19:1-9, there’s only one reason for divorce.

Sexual immorality.

But what about verbal abuse?

Consistent and constant verbal abuse is an anger management situation. You have to get at the root of his or her verbal abuse. It may take competent professional counseling to dig deep into the beginning of where it all started.

The husband or the wife have to choose to expose themselves in counseling to get to the root of the problem. If they don’t, it’s not recommended that they remain in a relationship because things could go south real quick.

But what about physical abuse?

This is assault. And even though there’s no Scriptural support for this to be the reason together a divorce, make no mistake about it. It is battery.

It’s domestic violence.

This is where it gets dangerous, even for police officers that show up to keep the peace.

If you don’t leave a domestic violence dispute, you may end up dead.

The sad thing is when the emotions and adrenaline of the moment subsides, they come back under the roof. Then it starts all over again. They usually don’t learn from the last incident.

You deliberately or even unintentionally do something that you know or don’t know that this triggers the event or events.

In marriages, behavioral changes may be difficult for people because of several factors.

Your upbringing, certain acts and habits that may be pleasant to you, but offensive to others. When there’s a refusal to change for the mutual benefit of the relationship, this is where the fireworks may happen.

Now there may be a tolerance for a season, but after the season of silently putting up with the difference comes to an end, it’s like a slow fire.

You smell smoke and then a secondary explosion is the one that rocks the building.

At the beginning of the marriage, you’re learning each other’s habits, patterns, and cycles. Your likes and dislikes are like lions, marking their territory. You breach the boundary, the lion gives a warning roar. Then when you continue to breach the territory, after the warning, the fighting begins.

Winner takes all.

But that’s animals. We’re humans. We’re to communicate our likes, and dislikes in a civil manner.

It’s amazing how quickly couples forget that they’re in Christ.

When you have disputes, it’s not the time to declare that you’re at the end of the rope. It’s the time to go back to your vows and reach deep into loving each other as Christ loves the church, and for the wife, like the church, to submit to Christ.

Besides, if it’s another woman you want, you will be irreparably burned and shamed. For the wife, your harlotry will embarrass you.

Finally, the world does revolving door weddings. Remember the woman at Jacob’s well in Samaria? She was searching for a man to satisfy her, she had 5 husbands and the one that she was with, wasn’t her husband.

It took the Lord to reveal to her that continuous adultery is unsatisfying. The Lord revealed to her that only the water that Jesus had would satisfy the longing in her heart.

And this is where there’s more rope in your marriage than you think.

For only the Lord Jesus could satisfy us completely.

It’s also stunning that when we look elsewhere that we select what we had.

It underscores one thing.

What you had was God’s best.

So when you’re at the end of your rope in marriage, just know that there’s plenty of rope left.

Fight for your marriage.

Author: prevailing word ministries

My wife, Valeria and I are the pastors of Prevailing Word Ministries in Brooklyn, NY. We have one daughter, Sherylynne. We are all authors. The Holy Spirit and You, by pastor Valeria, Altered Destiny, A Hustler's Choice, by Sheryl, and The Minister's Crucible and Secret Sexual Sins, by pastor Fred. Please visit BlogTalkRadio.com to listen to our groundbreaking series "Secret Sexual Sins. You may download it free of charge from iTunes.

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