We understand the impact of this incident that potentially over 400 pastor’s would be revealed. However, sometimes we do not count on a pastor to commit suicide. Sadly, it may not be the last pastoral suicide for pastors with their names caught on the list.
We grieve for the family he left behind. They somehow have to pick up the pieces to understand the magnitude of his Secret Sexual Sins and his suicide. Grace and healing is available from the throne of God. It will take time and we should understand that. No family speedily recovers from this tragedy. However, recovery and healing is possible. No one can ever fathom the loss, let alone the reason behind this tragic loss.
It is not safe to say that there would be no more pastoral suicides. Pastoral suicides has become all too common. We really do not know how many pastors commit suicide after such a discovery, but it is beginning to seem like there is no other reason. We know that the work load of a pastor, depending upon demographics, attendance, and counseling of people will take its toll.
Few know how to get away and get with God to recover.
Being a pastor places a strain on marriages.
While we do not know the inner details of their marriage, it is enough to say that every marriage is different. Dynamics are different and how to gauge the health of a marriage can only be done by the couple going through the marriage and what steps ministers and wives take to navigate the difficulties associated with marriage and ministry.
Sadly, the other end of the spectrum is that most pastors believe that they are indispensable. Or that they are super heroes and can save everybody while refusing to look after themselves. We are not saying that this is the reason, but it could be a vital part of the equation.
The other thing that is of grave importance is the pastor’s secret lives and their sexual activities outside of their marriages.
Secret lives include porn and masturbation, combined with acting out sexually with persons other than your wife, to be very specific. It underscores the importance to get before God to keep your heart clean, and to have “other eyes” on your life that you feel safe to let your hair down.
No pastor and his wife can do no wrong than to have someone to talk to and be transparent with to ensure that the devil has no place in their lives. Men are more vulnerable and too, they are more frightened to expose the secrets lurking in the hearts. It makes them feel less of a man and out of control.
But we should already know that God see us (see Psalm 90:8), and our secret sins are before the countenance of God.
The devil takes no prisoners according to John 10:10 and 1 Peter 5:8-9a. Therefore we should do everything in our power to keep our heart from traveling into the dark places. For in the dark places, no pastor can fellowship with God while walking with devils.
We pray God’s comfort on the family.
The story about this sad tragedy could be read here.
Josh Duggar’s name is not the only professed believer’s name exposed on the Ashley Madison adultery site list.
According to one source, 400 pastors are alleged to be on this list.
When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, porn and masturbation are basically starting points, or they are interconnected. Many professed believers that are married (61%) engage in masturbation as married men and women.
For men and women, it’s just a matter of time before your yield to the temptation to seek out a body to fulfill a deep seated fantasy. When it comes to masturbation, it is pretend sex. People do get tired of solo sex and this level opens the door to obey the lies of the doctrine of demons and SEDUCING spirits.
In masturbation, you are pretending to have sex with the image on the screen.
After a while, because there is already a lack of discipline, that line that you said that you wouldn’t cross, gets crossed. You can’t help yourself and next thing you know, you get involved with a discreet chatroom or adultery site like Ashley Madison and sin is finished. After sin is finished says James, is death (see James 1:14-15).
You see, before a true believer commits adultery or fornication, they’ve already divorced themselves from God. You can’t enter into sin while you are righteous.
You MUST leave the righteousness of God at the door of sin.
To enter a dark room, you have to come out of the light. Light doesn’t go with you into dark places. You have to turn off the light in order to enter the dark because the rules of darkness demand that you turn off the light.
Just like the rule of light is that you have to come out of the darkness.
Look at what the Lord Jesus told Paul in Acts 26:18.
“…to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.”
It is impossible to be in evil and righteousness at the same time.
So if are a pastor and you have entered the dark house of cheating on your wife in secret, and you do not intend to stop, it’s just a matter of time before what the Lord seen before time began comes to light. Right now, you are on the fumes of His mercy. Once that runs out, there is nothing that will stop exposure.
I remember the Lord telling me when I was in masturbation and porn, He said these words to me.
“Come clean! Or be exposed!!!!”
The article from Charisma News could be read here.
Psalm 139:1-3 says “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; you understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.”
It is no surprise to the Lord what you’ve done.
God knew what you would do before time began. Adam’s sin wasn’t a surprise to God. In the sin of Adam would be our Secret Sexual Sins. He knew that we would watch porn and masturbate. He knew when Adam disobeyed His command our disobedience.
Romans 5:12 “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned —”
What we do in secret was seen in Adam’s transgression. In all actuality, we were caught before time began. Nothing escapes the knowledge of God. Nothing escapes the knowing of God for He seen it before we were born.
But it doesn’t end there.
In the sin that He would see before time, He provided our salvation before time began. For every problem God provided an answer. Provided that you walk away from that secret sexual sin for ever.
You were already exposed.
I understand that this may not prevent those that are headstrong in having porn and masturbation. Headstrong is a sign of the end times as recorded in 2 Timothy 3:1-5. Headstrong carried the definition of an individual that is rash and will not care. They are deliberate in their intent to sin against God and will not care about God, their family, and the jobs.
The purpose of exposing their sin is to get them to repent. Exposure doesn’t have to happen. It took place because you resisted and rejected the warning of the Holy Spirit. Embarrassment was sent to stir you to repentance.
The difference will now be how you recover or continue in your sin.
People do not care if they were caught or embarrassed.
Hackers got in the Ashley Madison site used to commit adultery but it will not scare most people to stop and get it right.
Why the pessimism?
Because as soon as the coast is clear, they will or they have already found another site.
That’s the nature of sin. It takes you to another place where you can continue to sin before God. There is no deterrence or regard for what God has done. It is nothing to most men and women. There is no shame.
But the Lord is merciful because He wants repentance out of your life. If you fail to take advantage of the mercy of exposure, there is nothing left but the judgment of the Lord.
Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled but adulterers and fornicators God will judge.”
People do not have to be judged when the judge themselves.
What you do in the exposure determines whether you will be judged.
It was an act of mercy that your sin was discovered and shown before all. It takes courage to step into the light and allow the Lord to heal you, deliver you and set you free. Since you ignored the delivering power of God before exposure, it left God no other choice but to reveal what you do in secret. You weren’t afraid. There was no fear of God before your eyes. Some have even dared God and God doesn’t take lightly the arrogance of a person that they wouldn’t be exposed.
The worst kind of person is the one that dares God.
It’s called “Tempting the Lord your God.”
All those times the Lord didn’t expose you, or something didn’t happen after your sin you thought that God would never deal with you after your sin.
Then the moment of truth came.
Sadly, some will continue in their arrogance.
Even though people know all about your Secret Sexual Sins, because the urges and impulses rule you, you continue as if God will never judge you.
Then there are those that expose themselves because the sin was egregious. They have understood that they’ve hurt the heart of the Father and desire to get it right BEFORE exposure would come.
As a result, God honors your obedience but when you took it to another level in exposing your own sin, you gave God no story to tell on you. You’ve confessed and forsook that sin and God abundantly pardoned you. The thing that you do after you expose yourself is you must now maintain your deliverance for the rest of your life.
You are to govern your life so that your talk lines up with your life. Your confession is only as good as your lifetime maintenance, otherwise you are disqualified before the people.
When your exposure comes, again it is a result of your willful neglect to respect the power of God to expose your sin. Never leave God a reason to expose you. Give Him a reason to give you grace and mercy. Be willing to stand like a man or a woman and remain clean for the rest of your life.
God doesn’t demand that you be perfect. He demands that you be holy every moment of your life.
As Jesus commanded the man at the pool of Bethesda and the woman caught in adultery, “Go! And sin no more lest a worse thing come on you, and Go! And sin no more!!!, so you go and do the same.
Finally, there is a difference between a mistake and deliberate sin.
When we confuse mistakes with deliberate sin, we are concealing and minimizing our willful disobedience to continue in sin. Let’s own up to our responsibility and deal ruthlessly with ourselves and deal with sin the way God would deal with it.
Kill it by exposing it ourselves and then learn to obey God’s Word to be holy for the rest of our lives.