Tagged: child porn

Internet Porn: Regaining Sexual Self Control

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Ephesians 5:18 says, “And do not be drunk with wine [porn], in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit…”

Several years ago, I was just starting my journey to the depths of sexual depravity. When computers came out, the Internet became the highway to information. But it also became the most powerful way to engage in sexual depravity under these conditions.

Anonymity

Accessibility

Affordability

When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, you do not want people to know what you are doing.

Especially your wife.

You do not want to be denied, so easy access is to your benefit.

You do not want to spend more than you could afford, BUT you will spend what you have and neglect any bills that have priority.

While on the job, on my personal laptop, I accessed sites anonymously, or so I thought.

I never used the company computer because it was against company policy for which you could be fired.

Why can’t we apply that policy from God on our personal TV’s and computers?

Just a thought.

But we all know that your identity is already known because every computer has a code that easily identifies you. So anonymity is out the window when you get on the Internet. For instance, when you visit certain sites and never make a purchase, today, when you surf the Internet, that site that you were on comes up without your help.

It’s so advanced that your iPhone knows what time of the day you go home and tells you, without you asking, how much time it would take to get home.

So forget about anonymity.

In fact, because I blog regularly about sexual immorality, salacious sites, texts, and emails are sent to lure me back into the dark world of pornography. At one time, because I talked so much about homosexuality, a site meant for another person was sent. It was a cruise ship proposal where homosexuals from all over the United States book a cruise to engage in lewd conduct.

Getting back to computers. While I was surfing the net for porn, site after site came up. It ganged up on me and overloaded my computer. Several times it froze to where I had to do a reset to get the laptop to work. When I went back on the site, it acted up again because it was big business. If they gained access to your credit card or debit card, the charges would clear out your account.

I had enough presence of mind not to give them access to my cards because it would be a money trail that destroys any sense of control.

The lure would be that they would show you enough free porn and if you want more, you had to use your card.

Also, a sudden fear came upon me that, if by accident, I clicked a site for child porn, it’s an instant invitation to the FBI. The last thing that I needed was for the FBI to come to my job and arrest me for child porn. It doesn’t matter if you click with intent or by accident. You will be arrested. So that’s when viewing porn on my laptop was a thing of the past.

Internet pornography is a trap for men that are not under control.

That’s why if you do not regain sexual self control, you will not stop.

Dr. Mark Laaser told a story in his book about a pastor doing armed robbery to pay for his porn and prostitution addiction.

If you do not control your sexual appetite, you will do things that will not make sense.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

When it comes to sexual immorality, you will not be under control.

You might think that you are controlling the circumstances but you are deceiving yourself.

There was a story in Dr. Patrick Carnes book about a man that went on the Internet to chat with an underaged girl. He contacted a friend on the Internet and they were chatting with the same “girl.” His friend decided to take things to the next step and made arrangements at a restaurant to meet with this girl. So this person that broke off the relationship decided to spy them out. As his friend got out of the car to meet this “girl,” police cars surrounded him and his friend was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex.

The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” with Chris Hansen, aired between 2004 and 2007, was an incredible show where men would solicit minors for sex. They would chat on line to set up the meet. Some predators would drive or ride their motorcycles for hours just to have sex with minors. As lawyers, doctors, mechanics, priests, and pastors from all walks of life, would come into a house, Chris Hansen would meet with them as the minor walked out.

As soon as they arrive at the house, hidden cameras were on and recording everything. A transcript would be made and Chris Hansen would read the predator’s real intent as the cameras would come out. These predators try to deny that they were after under aged girls and under aged homosexuals. After the conversation, the police would be waiting for them outside.

Pastor Roger Jamison of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY once told me that one person put it like this. Sexual sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”

Sadly, many men will not listen. Even sinners with a dark heart towards God have a conscience. They hear that they should not do what they intend to do but they suppress it for the pleasure.

“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the PRIDE OF LIFE.”

The pleasure causes a man to throw away wise counsel.

On that show, “To Catch A Predator,” a couple of men said that they heard something on the inside of them telling them not to go. A few persons told Chris Hansen that they watched the show before. Another predator was a repeat offender. Caught twice on the same show. This dude had already appeared before a judge for the same crime………………the week before showing up at this house.

There are many wives that are suspecting that something is going on.

That inward intuition is usually right. In most cases, she already knows. It’s just that she is processing the information because any act of betrayal is too hurtful for most women to confront. It’s when the full disclosure after discovery occurs that she is able to start the process of confrontation.

Most selfish men will apply blame on the wife and try to act more hurt than the wife.

Granted, both are in pain. The discovery was painful for the man because he was exposed and the betrayal was painful for the wife because she thought that her husband wasn’t keeping secrets.

How does a man bring himself under control?

1. Repentance.

Nothing will be right until he settles the debt with God.

2. Accountability.

No man can win the battle of sexual immorality without other eyes watching your life.

3. Catching Your Moments.

If you are not willing to submit to God every moment of your life, all it takes is one look, and you are back to square one.

4. Guard What You Are Feeding On.

“Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

If you are not willing to guard your heart and close the door, the thief will come with his best to bring you back into bondage.

5. Fill Your Heart With Good Things.

“Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:5

You must be willing to do what it takes to replace what you were feeding on to be filled with God and His Word.

Freedom is not free. Neither is self control. You have to pay a price for freedom. You have to fight until Jesus comes or until you breathe your last breath.

You might be saying that you are not a predator.

That’s debatable because if you haven’t stopped, you may be a predator to yourself.

Every line you say you wouldn’t cross is a line you intend to cross. It’s just a matter of time.

As time progresses, the devil hasn’t brought out his best for you just yet. There’s always that one hot looking male or female that he has in reserves just in case you stay longer than you supposed to. And when you break free, the devil has a long list of his best that he will bring to tempt you. He knows that you are not in control.

But you can out smart the devil by living as a dead man.

Romans 6:11-14 says,

“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

Yes, it takes time to get to this stage but the more you yield to God, the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” will govern you as you obey the Hoy Spirit and the Word of God according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Discovering Your Pastor’s Child Porn Habits; Pastoral Investigatory Policy

There is no question that pornography is a major issue in the world but it is a major issue in the house of worship among ministers of the gospel.

What would you do as a believer that may have a pastor that is watching porn? Even worse, what would you do if he was involved in child pornography?

Sadly, in both cases, most church people would cover it up for fear of destroying their church’s reputation.

Sadly, God destroyed its reputation the moment people compromise to sweep under the carpet a pastor’s Secret Sexual Sins.

Even people that claim to restore pastors undercover or behind everyone’s backs. The Bible is very clear about exposing the darkness. Grace is not given to cover sin but to expose it. Exposing sin is not to be done to destroy a person but to help them realize that sin is not right in the eyes of God. There is a difference between “gossip” and Biblical restoration according to Galatians 6:1-5.

Judging falls under this category of gossip according to Matthew 7:1-5. The entire context of Matthew 7:1-5, not just verse 1.

Many churches deliberately run from confronting this issue to expose it because people are afraid to. For the most part, people want to come to church, have a good time, see a show, and go home. Confronting sexual issues in the church is not on the list because confronting any sin puts the light on the entire church membership.

Many churches want to love people and pastors but the love for them must never exceed the love for truth and mercy. Truth exposes so that a church is right. God loves truth above loving people because God must be true to Himself. He will never lie and He will never sin. Therefore, by speaking the truth in love, we expose the hidden works of darkness. We must remember that God hates sin. Therefore, we must hate sin just as God does. Otherwise, God is perverted.

Ephesians 5:8-14 says, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:
“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

Paul never said not to expose it. He said it was a shame to talk about what was “done by them in secret.”

Cedric Cuthberg, pastor of an African Episcopal Church in Florida, was one of those pastors that got caught in such a sting. He pled guilty and is doing 6 years for downloading child porn.

This is a common practice to watch porn among 50% of pastors in the United States. Obviously a small percentage of pastors delve into child porn. There are approximately 300,000 protestant churches in the United States, which means that roughly 150,000 protestant churches have pastors that intentionally watch porn. According to blazinggrace.org 70% of Christians struggle with porn.

According to the late Ted Bundy, executed in 1989 for the murder of a 12 year old and responsible for 29 sex assaults and their deaths, said that porn was not the cause of his assaults and murders. Rather it was the fuel.

Many of them prepare their sermons in their “Pastor’s Study” in church. As soon as their sermon is prepared on their computer, they get this “Urge and Impulse” to watch porn on the same computer. This pastor crossed the line and downloaded child porn and that’s a crime.

Sadly, there are pastors that desire to have sexual contact with these innocent children and they make the mistake of setting themselves up. Not realizing that on the other side of the line or Internet connection is a police officer that knows how to talk the language of underage kids. Then these males go to meet them and are caught in their own web of deceit.

One of the greatest fears that I had when I was watching free porn on the Internet was that I would make the mistake of downloading child pornography. Whether intentionally or by accident. I knew that it would be a matter of time so before I made a mistake or desired to intentionally download any material, I made myself stop. Let me point out that at no time I had a desire for children. Having said that, I knew that when a person says that they do not have a desire, it is just a matter of time before the devil will tempt you.

The amount of websites for child porn is relatively small. There is approximately 100,000 websites for child porn.

The FBI is always on the look out in this relatively small community of perversion.

One former porn producer said in an interview that “child porn is the final frontier.”

What he meant by this was that after watching all the porn of adults of legal age, the desire to watch younger underaged kids do sex acts. Even worse is that these males (can’t call them men) desire to contact these kids to have sex with them. They will travel to far away exotic places where human trafficking of children is a serious issue, worldwide. Including the United States.

This is a crime. Downloading child porn is a crime and just to be in possession of any child porn will get you arrested.

Why do they watch child porn?

After watching all the adults, heterosexual and homosexual, the last level of perversion is children.

The amber alerts and child abductions is partly the reason behind what is done throughout the world.

How could a congregation discover a pastor’s child porn habits?

Many of you will disagree with what I am about to share. However, we must never disagree with the truth of God’s Word.

Hypocrisy is a leaven that must be removed and anything that has this leaven must go too.

Which would you rather have?

A hypocritical church or a church full of people that pretend to be holy but live ungodly lives?

Most people want both. A hypocritical church and people that pretend to live holy; having a form of godliness but denying its power.

But what kind of church does the Lord want?

Paul said in Ephesians 5:26-27 “…that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

What I am about to share is not absolute but it should be dealt with before other children are harmed and churches destroyed.

While it all depends on the situation, today, most churches are planted by the pastor, so this may be a little difficult to implement an investigatory policy.

Pastors for hire is a different story because in the vetting process, the search committee must now do the extra work of hiring a investigator, do criminal background checks, and other necessary investigations to insure that they have a pastor that is clean and without blemish.

Vetting committees that fail to do this is asking for trouble.

During the course of a hired pastors tenure, he should be subjected to unannounced periodic investigation which includes their personal devices, computers, and other instruments. The pastor’s study and all computers that is owned by the house of worship must be subjected to periodic checks for porn. The pass codes of every computer in the house of worship must be owned by a church administrator and can only be changed by the church administrator.

All church workers with computer access must be investigated as well.

Some will disagree and declare that privacy is invaded.

Well think of the child’s privacy and innocence destroyed.

Will it be your child that will go through an avoidable ordeal, or would you rather have your privacy invaded to protect them?

What about a pastor that planted a church? Accusations fly every day and if a group of people want to destroy the reputation of a pastor, it is very easy to do so. We know that false witnesses are everywhere and they jump at every opportunity to destroy a genuine work of the Lord. However, if such an accusation is brought, just go through the process of thoroughly investigating the matter.

As a pastor, I would not mind because if you have nothing to hide, then the investigation will show it. If not, then a pastor has a lot to worry about, including prison time.

After looking at the FB picture of Cedric Cuthberg, on the outside it appears that he was very much in control but you never judge a book by its cover. That’s what a rogue pastor is counting on. That you do not know what is really going on in his heart.

Secret Sexual Sins operates the same way.

As long as it is a secret, no one really knows and that means that the game of watching any form of porn continues.

As I have said many times, no one watches porn and doesn’t masturbate or act out sexually. There is no question in my mind that Cuthberg masturbates. Porn is fantasy sex. A man or a woman is pretending to have sex with that image. According to Dr. William Struthers, porn “hijacks” the brain and the person watching the porn is just going through the sexual acting out to satisfy his or her sexual urges.

Porn never leads you to less sexual acting out. It always leads to more acting out. It is not uncommon to have multiple ejaculations or orgasms. Jesus said that he that commits sin is a slave to sin. When it comes to porn, a man or a woman is a slave to dopamine. Dopamine is the reward drug that the brain desires. In essence, the chemicals that work in the body during sex is like a pharmacy. The person is using sex as a “medicinal property” to affirm, love, and satisfy themselves. This is the secondary reason why people do what they do.

The whole purpose of porn and masturbation is “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.”

It’s all about fulfilling the lust in the flesh and mind.

It doesn’t matter what a pastor may be going through.

It’s all about fulfilling the lusts of the flesh and mind.

So the next time you go to church, there is a 50/50 chance that your pastor may be watching porn.

To eliminate the chance of this happening, get your pastor to agree to an investigation paid for by the church.

What if something is found?

Don’t sweep it under the rug.

If something is found, then the next step is to remove that pastor according to your bylaws. If the law was broken in any way, instead of being an accessory to the crime or be found to obstruct justice, call the district attorney or law enforcement. Take action immediately.

Here is the CNN report regarding Disney workers caught in a sex sting.

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/07/14/us/theme-park-employees-child-sex-stings/