As I was listening to a radio broadcast of a “Bible answer man,” no it’s not Hanegraaff, it was someone else. A listener called in to get answers about how to stop watching porn.
Watching porn is still a problem among believers today.
The majority of men that teach the Bible may not have gone through a personal situation where in their own lives, they’ve watched porn.
Not every man watches porn, but it’s sure close.
You could tell when a person watches porn, the Lord sets them free, and they humbly learn how to help other men get the freedom they cry for.
Then there’s the Bible teachers that never get enough information to help men get free. As I’ve said, not every man watches porn, but I am aware that not every Bible teacher knows how to minister grace and truth.
It’s very easy to give off the cuff answers when you haven’t gone through the process. This isn’t to say that this Bible answer man on Talk Radio on Sirius Radio, never went through an encounter of porn.
The other danger is that there’s plenty of Bible answer teachers and preachers that develop an arrogant, prideful, and haughty spirit.
I was one of them.
Just a few weeks after being delivered from porn, an “I’ll teach them” spirit came and then my accountability partner from “Setting Captives Free” gave me a very humiliating lesson.
He said to me, in words like………“Don’t teach me Bible knowledge.”
You see, it’s very easy to come off like you know all the Bible answers. And sometimes, we truly think we do. And come to find out that what’s in our head never matches what’s in our hearts.
Over the course of time, I began to see that we try to think we could help people and find that we’re inadequate, ill-equipped, unteachable, and at times, very nasty and angry.
This Bible teacher didn’t come off like this at all.
In fact, he was very kind, very careful with his words, very humble. He wasn’t prideful, arrogant, or nasty. He was very good in sharing with that man the forgiveness of sins.
He is to be commended for calmly talking about the aspect of forgiveness.
It’s very difficult to minister to men trapped in porn so what we need to do is gather as much information as we can about porn, but also arm ourselves with Scripture. Then we need to learn from those that were trapped in porn that broke free. We also need to learn from those that were never trapped in porn and how they worked with the Lord to stay free.
Too often, we just get a one sided view of dealing with pornography. What I mean is that only those that’s been in porn know how to deal with it, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Just as the Lord told Elijah, “there’s 7000 that never bowed their knee to Baal.”
It’s very difficult to admit that you have a porn problem.
90% plus of men will never admit they have a sins of the flesh problem.
And roughly 10% either initiated or completely fulfilled their desire to be free and even less than that remain free to this day.
You may ask, “Where did I get this figure from?”
A couple of years ago, I looked on “Setting Captives Free” to see how many people, male and female, attempted to deal with porn addiction. At that time, around 2011 or so, over 2 million clicked the sight but only 200,000 attempted to go through and complete the course.
I am an alumnus.
As with any addiction, sexual addiction in particular, it’s a very dirty, filthy habit. It destroys the morals of man, chokes off his relationship with God, and if he’s married, with his wife, cuts off his ministry, takes all his money and his time.
His life evolves around porn. If he’s not in his house watching porn, there’s plenty of substitute porn in the streets with scantily clad women in stores, restaurants, malls, church, work, and other places.
His mind is consumed with watching flesh.
And even if women are dressed modestly, he knows how to use his imagination to sexually objectify her.
The core of all porn is the lust in the heart of man.
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of God abides forever.”
James 1:14-15 (NKJV) “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
The desires within a man is what drives him to make provision to fulfill these lusts lurking within his mind and flesh.
Romans 13:14 (NKJV) “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
As long as man never addresses the lust in his heart, it’s very difficult to fight the urges and impulses lurking in his flesh.
Granted, some women do not make it easy but they’re not the core of the problem.
How does a man get free of porn?
Sadly, the images are filed in the mind of a man. From time to time, if we don’t “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ,” these thought or fantasies easily emerge. If we dwell on the thought instead of subdue these thoughts, sexual arousal will take place.
If we’re in the privacy of home, the job, in the car, it’s very easy to go from thoughts to actually stimulating ourselves. That is, to manipulate our sexual organs.
Sexual tension is on an avoidable collision course to be released.
The rest is history.
We go to John 5 with the man at the pool of Bethesda.
Jesus approached a man that was lame in his feet for 38 years, and asked him a very simple question. “Do you want to be made whole.”
To be whole means to be sound or to be restored to health.
While this is about the lame man’s physical condition, the same question could be asked about sexual addicts.
Those that are trapped in the clutches of porn.
Do you want to be sound? Restored to health?
Many men willingly acknowledge that porn is an issue but this question demands that you look at the condition, but few look beyond the condition to see that this will be a life long battle to maintain health after being made whole.
And if we were really honest, we will also admit that masturbation is inextricably connected to porn.
Men do not sit there, watch porn, and then shut off the show of flesh.
Men engage in make believe sex to satisfy the lust in his heart for that flesh.
It’s the one thing that keeps a man coming back for more porn.
And this is the core reason why many men, well over 90%, never be free.
The self satisfaction is of too greater value to walk away.
Romans 6:12-14 (NKJV Strong’s) “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”
If you’re not prepared to cut off, in a radical way, the “ritual” of making provision “to fulfill the lusts of the flesh,” this is what brings men into a place of self imposed hopelessness and helplessness.
They abandon themselves to live a life of sexual sins that usually takes them further than where they’ve intended to go.
Sexual predators, serial rapists, child molesters.
Finally, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
As long as men aren’t afraid of God and His commandments, sin is easy.
God gave Cain the answer he needed to conquer sin in his life….
Genesis 4:7 (NKJV Strong’s) “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
You can rule lust in your heart.
But you can’t do it alone.
You need the help of the Holy Spirit.