Usually, it’s the other way around when a pastor has “eyes” for a female member or visitor.
But it’s just as prevalent when female members or visitors try to make contact for sexual “connection” in the house of worship.
It’s an issue that’s usually not addressed often because what’s more spoken of is the after action of adultery or fornication. In other words, the attention is fully placed on the male pastor, and not the female whom he was immorally involved with.
While women generally don’t look at immoral sexual encounters with male pastors as part of pursuing a conquest, yet, in the world of prostitution and porn, it’s a known fact that some immoral women look at it as having power over a man.
In other words, she deliberately intended to use the power of her femininity to seduce a male, overpowering him with her looks, and with sexual teasing attire, lure a male into the bedroom.
Proverbs 7:25-27 (NKJV Strong’s) “Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways,
Do not stray into her paths;
For she has cast down many wounded,
And all who were slain by her were strong men.
Her house is the way to hell,
Descending to the chambers of death.“
If they could get a male to look, she’s got him hooked.
Hence, the term “hooker.”
Proverbs 6:23-26 (NKJV Strong’s) “For the commandment is a lamp,
And the law a light;
Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
To keep you from the evil woman,
From the flattering tongue of a seductress.
Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,
Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.
For by means of a harlot
A man is reduced to a crust of bread;
And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.”
Before going any further, NOT EVERY female attending services are doing this. There’s just a very select few that live in the fantasy world of romance. But there is a clear difference between lust and romance. Each week, these select few immoral females take things to the next level to accomplish the goal of sexually connecting with a pastor.
Sometimes, the unsuspecting male pastor doesn’t even know that they’re being targeted for sexual conquest connections. But sadly, some do know they’re being targeted and oblige.
Sometimes it begins with an innocent conversation. A handshake. A warm smile. While he’s preaching, you noticeably pay attention. An “amen,” calling out his name. Sometimes being a bit talkative or asking questions in Bible Study as if you’re using this means of communications as another way of drawing his attention.
Some of these things seems innocent but if it goes further than this, it may be cause for alarm.
It goes without saying.
It’s always a set up to the next level.
Again, to those that are sensitive and assume that it’s an attack on all women, be advised, it’s not.
Just the select few that seek sexual conquest.
No matter how much prayer a male pastor does, and no matter how powerful they may be in the pulpit, women are attracted to powerful men.
The goal of the male pastor is to have the heart of Joseph.
The Lord entrusted you with a lot. Why give it up for one moment of immorality?
Genesis 39:6-12 (NKJV Strong’s)
“Thus he (Potiphar) left all that he had in Joseph’s hand, and he did not know what he (Joseph) had except for the bread which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.
And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.”
But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”
So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her.
But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house was inside, that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside.”
Potiphar’s wife had lusting eyes for Joseph, to the point that she cornered Joseph, and attempted to grab him. Joseph had no choice but to jump out of his outer garment, and run for his life.
Clearly, this isn’t the last incident, as many immoral women were successful in achieving their conquest.
Male pastors give in to the seductive immoral woman without a fight.
It’s due to the lusts that’s in his heart as well. You can’t blame the bait for your mouth found on the hook. The bait is deceptive for a reason.
James 1:14-15 (NKJV Strong’s) “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
There’s no question that Potiphar’s wife pulled out all the seductive stops to get Joseph to cast down his integrity. Having been in prison, he didn’t want to return, much more, be executed for romp time with another man’s wife.
Married pastors are on the playing field too. Many pastors that harbor lust in their hearts are prime for the picking. Especially when the married pastor is experiencing marital issues where normal sexuality isn’t happening at home.
Such issues are so strong that a seductive women could pretty much perceive that there may be an issue, and like clock work, take steps to advance like pieces on a chess board.
So how could this be avoided when they come in, deliberately dressed provocatively to attract your attention?
Sadly, it may not be avoided but for the male pastor, he need to pay attention, because it won’t be long before we read about another incident.
Many pastors and leaders face the fight of lust in the heart.
Paul tells us to “Flee also youthful lust.”
2 Timothy 2:22 (NKJV Strong’s) “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
See, it’s not enough just flee lust, but you must pursue “righteousness, faith (moral conviction or fidelity), love, peace……
Most young pastors more than likely are struggling in their marriages because of lust in the heart. More than likely, a “flame” came into the congregation, and he set his sights on her.
It happens all the time.
On the other hand, that “flame” came in to passively hunt for the pastor.
The combination of the two takes place.
One is hunting for the other and eventually, adultery is committed.
Usually, the male pastor is sexually dissatisfied with his wife and looks to spice things up with another woman.
Or the events in the marriage came to a tipping point where the male pastor had enough. Events in a marriage does have an affect.
As I was sharing with a couple, you should never allow events in a marriage divide the relationship. Usually the disconnect is intentional and it’s just a matter of time before adultery is committed.
As I read this article from CP (Christian Post), I began to see that this young pastor struggled with personal obedience to his Lord and Savior. Obedience to the Scriptures.
The Lord Jesus told us that “If any man desires to follow Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”
Lenard Ravenhill once said, that we “…came to His cross. Now get on yours.”
We must understand that lust must be kept crucified.
He shared that he couldn’t continue. Most stories like these end with the young pastor apologizing for not keeping the Scriptures he taught. For “faking it until he made it.” For living a hypocritical life. Then they depart, leaving a trail behind for the Lord to clean up.
Most people in these congregations that suffer in their marriages make for the exit. They were looking to their leader to hold fast to the Scriptures and then he makes an exit from his Lord.
Folks, the devil is not just after destroying marriages. He’s looking to make sure you spend eternity in hell with him.
We don’t seem to believe this anymore because we’re so detached from the fact that one day, we’ll stand either before the Judgment Seat of Christ as believers or stand before the Great White Throne Judgment before the Judge of all the earth as sinners.
The moment of self satisfaction in porn, masturbation, adultery, fornication, or homosexuality blinds us from the eternal consequences.
We ignore the dangers of judgment.
For this young pastor, it seems that he used means and traditional methods to address a situation in his marriage that many men and women experience.
Usually when we use counseling, books, and other tools to help us deal with a situation within our marriage, we seldom see their prayer lives, their obedience to the Scriptures, their love for Jesus excelling over their lust, problems, and marriage situations.
They no longer fight for their relationship with the Lord and their wives but easily give in to lust.
The god in their lives commands that they walk away and not fight, and these young male pastors obey. Some obey quickly.
Years ago, I shared that many will fall. And it won’t be the last.
Fighting lust is very tough.
And all it takes for man to fulfill his lust is when a flaming hot young lady walks in the door of the congregation. Or he searches for a flaming hot young lady, willing to sexually satisfy his flesh.
One moment of pleasure isn’t worth an eternity in hell.
Behind every hot flame is a pack of demons of lust.
To destroy or frustrate the plans of a flaming hot sexually immoral woman is to avoid them at all costs. The moment you intend to create an opportunity of contact for connection, is the moment all bets are off.
You avoid them by returning to the Lord in prayer and fasting, seeking the face of the Lord every moment. By cutting off every angle of attack when they make the move to get close to you.
When they want to “see the pastor,” you send your wife or a trusted elderly saint to run interference. You put people in place to protect the zone.
You never put yourself in a position to be ambushed by their schemes.
You never counsel them alone.
Let them walk away frustrated.
If you’re looking to get into sexual trouble, we pray that the Lord would interfere with your plans to sin against Him. If you look to circumvent His intervention, it will be to your own peril.
It takes a solid prayer and Word life to recognize that the plans of the devil is to destroy you.
This young pastor made a reversible choice.
For now, he chose to depart but he can return in repentance.
But you fight to stay pure and holy before the Lord.
Fight to stay right with the help of the Holy Spirit.
You could read the story here
Women attempting to seduce pastors for sex.
How to seduce a pastor may not be the question. How to take him further in his already seduced mind is the question.
Saying the right words, sitting in the right place to be seen, wearing the right clothing that is enticing enough for him to look your way, and greeting him after service every Sunday until there is a connection established for more “dialogue.”
Get on a few ministerial teams, get connected and involved so as to set up the next move.
Be versatile, and befriend his wife. If the wife feels safe with you, the hard part is done.
Be faithful for the wrong reasons. When he’s preaching, connection seeking sexually immoral women finish his sentences out loud as he is preaching, they say “amen” to be heard and noticed, be outspoken, engaging, and involved in his conversations apart from service, and during service.
Try to get his personal email to continue “dialogue.” Better yet, social media, one on one chat rooms.
There’s always the Jezebel approach and the adultress approach. Or both.
But what is it really about?
The doors are open for this wickedness when a pastor is lured by seductive sexually immoral women and fails to close the door to porn and masturbation in his private life.
Leading into 2016, a new operation is setting up to take down pastors. Like clockwork, the next level of sexual immorality with a pastor rises from within the church. All it takes is for a pastor to commit to going to the next level.
Like one married pastor of a large mega church in Florida who hooked up with an exotic dancer/strip club/porn star for a year and a half, regularly flying to Spain to hook up sexually.
These rendezvous usually either happen on the Internet, or while “ministering,” after service is over, while they return to their hotel room, they watch porn and masturbate, and then desire what they’ve seen on the screen portrayed in real life.
Some sexually immoral women in local churches wait for months before they move. Some come right in and go to work. Some pastors see it and apply all the Scriptural disciplines and establish strong spiritual and physical firewalls.
Other pastors call upon prayer warriors to establish the perimeters. They also call upon elderly church women to approach and interrogate the “new arrivals” to determine their intent.
Other pastors set the watch infinitim to ensure the perimeter is impenetrable.
The wife automatically sounds the alarm and goes into warning mode. Husbands fail to see things that other women do. The wife shares critical marriage saving measures to ward off demonic invasions.
The sexually immoral women are there for one reason. To have sex with a pastor, destroy his relationship with God, destroy his marriage, his wife and children, if any, destroy their churches and ministries, destroy other marriages in his sphere of pastoral influence, and seal their decent into perversion and hell.
Pastors who are loose in their Secret Sexual Sins lives are bound to fall unless they recover themselves from their secret lives.
As the late David Wilkerson once said, they need to cry out to God for deliverance from lust.
Many pastors struggle with lust in their hearts after being tempted time and time again.
When a pastor cannot stop watching women in secret, their eyes travel in service. Their eyes locate the next “eye candy.”
Before a pastor embraces them in bed, they’ve embraced them in their hearts.
As in one church, a pastor has a lot of sexually provocatively dressed women attending church.
In other local churches, the traps are about to be set. Pastors do not realize that the one that the pastor had his eyes on was knowingly and or unknowingly waiting to be located.
Few understand how the realm of the spirit operates.
Lust is a spirit.
When a connection need to be made, the demons communicate to make the connection happen.
There is no distance or time in the realm of the spirit. However, warfare is intense to stop the plans of darkness from coming to fruition and it is equally intense for darkness to see evil plans fulfilled.
The ultimate intent is to discredit God and His Word. To place doubt about the standard.
Just because people fail the standard, it didn’t mean the standard has failed.
When a pastor insists on pursuing darkness, they will not let God and His Word get in the way. As they will even ignore the ultimate ultimatum from God. Love for sin overcomes the tug of God on the heart.
Pastors are oblivious and or they deliberately ignore any divine intervention to fulfill the lusts in their mind and flesh.
Therefore, things connect spiritually before they connect mentally, and then physically.
God does that in Isaiah 46:9-12
“Remember the former things of old, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure,’ Calling a bird of prey from the east, The man who executes My counsel, from a far country. Indeed I have spoken it; I will also bring it to pass. I have purposed it; I will also do it.”
God summons people for His purposes, but could it be true for the devil?
“Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling.”
While this isn’t about a lustful spirit, yet, the fact they she “met” them indicates a demonic encounter to stop the power of God.
Hence, the whole purpose behind seducing a pastor.
However, because of seduction already operating in the secret life of a pastor, the adultery seals the deal.
Already, the sexually immoral woman is in position to seduce a pastor and she will pull out all the stops.
It is a form of witchcraft, sorcery, and it’s combined with attempting to establish power over male leadership.
Attraction. Sexual appeal. Womanly ways and mannerisms. Exposure of certain flesh. Feminine assertiveness, assurance, and reassurance. Confidence or being in close proximity to feel that a pastor could confide in her. Affection and inhibition. What she suggests can’t be resisted. Any attempts to suppress her ways is easily persuaded against. Her pressing the issue and persuasions work the soul of the pastor to yield to her. To say no to her is a bad move. She works herself to a level of indispensability and dependability. Essentially, you can’t do without her. Things once said that she couldn’t hear are spoken to her freely. Even about your wife and marriage. You have her ear when you need her when the wife is away or even when your wife is near. Phone calls, texting, personal trips. She enjoys your company. Constantly flatters and supports the man of God as if she was his wife. Will defend to the death in unquestioned loyalty everything the pastor does. Becomes an outspoken representative of the pastor.
Walking while sleeping, the devil sows seeds of lust to take things to the next level.
Innocent conversations turn personal and often leads to suggestive actions. Eye contact, hand contact, hands on the shoulder or touching the forearm, hands around the waist, stroking the hand, hugging, kissing on the cheek that leads to kissing the lips, giving of small gifts of expressing seemingly innocent signs of affection.
All of these and other issues can cause a pastor to drop his guard because he feels safe, secure, and confident with her.
If the pastor is married, his wife is comfortable enough that even certain activities are permitted. She suspects very little from her and trusts that nothing would happen. But it’s a clear set up. Something is soon to happen.
Then when it’s safe, she makes her move.
Pastor, just like the Scriptures says, you are like sheep going to the slaughter. Like a bird for the snare. Like an arrow for the liver.
She strikes and his decent into hell is complete.
She walks away to her next assignment.
In a FB post, they have a new saying that “It’s A Rainbow Day.”
Of course it’s referring to June 26, 2015.
Then another statement under this.
“Love Wins Out.”
When it comes to homosexuality, adultery, fornication, bisexuality, porn, and masturbation, it’s all about LUST!
According to the Scriptures, lust “…is the desire to have that which is forbidden.”
So, in order to have that which the Bible says is forbidden, you have to violate truth.
When the Stonewall riots took place, it wasn’t to go against homosexuals. NYPD was doing surveillance of the Mafia In a known homosexual establishment, but not on homosexuals and their vile behaviors.
All of a sudden it flared up into a riot after the police raided the now historical landmark.
Homosexuals stormed the streets. Cops were injured. And just like that, the surveillance was over and the homosexuals flip the script.
So ever since, it’s been a war of words.
Whose words will be believed?
So now even with the truth, people still believe the lies.
One lie after another.
So this nation is engulfed with lies that the elite of LGBT pushed for years until it was believed. They kept this little snow ball called lies rolling down the hill to form an avalanche.
But the one thing that the elite can’t get rid of is the truth. After the avalanche, truth still stands. Truth may have been buried, but truth still rises. Pesky as truth is, truth can never be destroyed because Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life….”
Yes, when Jesus hung on that cross, Truth was on that cross. But you can’t keep Truth dead. Truth was buried but was raised on the first day of the week. So no matter how many lies you speak, Truth will speak.
The elite of LGBT might be successful in ridding the United States of the First Amendment, but Truth will still be marching on. They might silence the voices of Truth, but Truth will find another believer with a voice to speak truth to power.
The elite doesn’t have a plan to eliminate Truth because He is seated at the right hand of God.
So what is the remedy for the hour?
For people to stand and speak the truth no matter the cost.
Yes, there is a price to pay, but the ultimate price for our sins was paid over two thousand years ago.
It will hurt because your relatives and friends agree with the lies. They will scream at you and call you everything but a child of God. They will even betray you and deny you. But thank God that God will not betray us or deny us.
Even should they be successful in manipulating the constitution, there is one major problem on their hands.
The Bible. The Truth. The Word of God.
They have no power to alter, destroy, or rid the earth of the most powerful Book on earth.
Yes, they can make their own book, and yes, they can alter certain words, but they are way too late since the Bible was here before them, and should Jesus tarry, it will be here after we are all gone. But somewhere somebody will have a copy of the original. God is that Smart to conceal the Word in the hearts of men and women should they take every Bible off the planet.
Homosexuals one big lie has another problem.
The manifestation of STDs which confirms that the sin of homosexuality has a problem.
No Supreme Court justice has the power to overrule consequential judgment.
The lie of safe homosexual sex is just that. One big lie.
The risks of violating the way God ordained sex is ever present.
Again, it is proof that sex between one man and one woman in marriage is the one of two place to avoid STDs.
Abstinence is the other place until marriage between one man and one female takes place.
But that’s just on one level.
It’s not heterosexuality that we are after.
It is holiness.
Sin is dirty and destructive.
Sin cannot satisfy the longing in the heart for God.
Sin cannot reward you with eternal life.
Sin’s payment is always death.
If you want to believe the lie that started it all, it’s your choice.
But there is a better way that leads to life in Christ.
When you are finished with the lust, and you’ve had enough of “homosexual love-excuse me, lust,” the Lord is waiting to forgive you of all your sins and give you eternal life after you repent, and be born again.
But if you insist on believing the lie and the father of lies, Romans 6:23 says,
“For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
The lie of Stonewall could be seen here.
No matter how young or old you are, the warfare of the eyes intensifies.
Brothers, satan hasn’t brought out his best to lure you into chasing after flesh. He just gives you enough to go searching.
The Internet is the place to do this. Pornography offers ANONYMITY, ACCESSIBILITY, AFFORDABILITY, AND IT’S ADDICTIVE.
On your social networks and when you read articles that interest you, to the bottom and to the right of most articles, there will be blatant sexual eye candy to attract your interest into sex.
Even with Christian articles and on some well known Christian sites, some of them have sponsors that insist on showing flesh.
One thing always leads to another.
These are “incremental traps” that set you up to venture deeper into sites that you have no business going to.
I’ve been there before. I know what it’s like to “investigate” further.
It’s “fatal attraction” at work.
You are attracted to that hot looking woman and it is fatal.
James 1:14 “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is finished, brings forth death.”
Many brothers in the Lord live by the motto “It’s ok to look but do not touch.”
Notice what the Lord Jesus said……
Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
We who profess faith in the Lord Jesus rarely hear this preached in service because sometimes, the pastor is involved with the lusts of the eyes himself. Then again, he could very well quote this Scripture, yet never abide by the Word himself.
In the book “Every Man’s Battle” by Fred Stoeker, Steven Arterburn, and Mike Yorkey, they give the solution to training your eyes to avoid looking at a woman lustfully.
You could “bounce” your eyes to avoid that stare that leads to lust. If women were not beautiful, there would be no reason to look. But looking lustfully is a sin. Women will bring their best to be attracted whether married or single. Some women do it with intent because they are using their femininity as power to influence.
Do not be offended ladies. We all know that beauty is the world of women and it’s not just about the beauty, but when some women deliberately use it as a weapon to bring down the mightiest men, it is demonic.
Notice Proverbs 6:25 “Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”
And Proverbs 7:24-27 “Now therefore, listen to me, my children; pay attention to the words of my mouth: do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death.”
Take note that the combination of lust in a man’s heart and the sexually immoral woman has cast down the ALREADY WOUNDED MAN.
The right woman will attract the right man. The wrong women with demonic intent will attract the wrong man with demonic intent.
Let me get back to the eyes for a moment.
If you could train yourself to divert your eyes, you can keep your heart. This is part of making a “covenant with your eyes” (see Job 31:1).
In other words, you get your eyes to agree with your heart not to look upon a woman to lust after her.
Notice what Jesus said in Luke 11:34-36 “The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light.”
It’s the intent of the look that must be disciplined. But notice that “the lamp of the body is the eye.”
What we observe with intent determines whether we have light in us or darkness in us.
For instance, when a smoking hot woman is in your periphery, do you use your eyes to lustfully think about having her sexually? If that’s your intent when you look, Matthew 5:27 is in play.
So what do you do to avoid looking at her lustfully?
Either “bounce” your eyes or distract yourself by deliberately looking away.
It’s learning how to guard your heart against evil. The woman is not evil unless she deliberately wears the attire of a harlot to attract a man “devoid of understanding.”
Notice Proverbs 7-5-10. “For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, and saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of understanding, passing along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night. And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.”
This man went looking for trouble. Trouble was available.
If you are having trouble with your eyes. That is, you can’t seem to stop looking to deliberately lust after another woman, to lust for her sexually, it’s time to reconsider what you are doing on the Internet. There is plenty of eye candy every where.
It’s time for an “Internet fast.”
The Lord Jesus said to “If your right eye offends you, pluck it out.”
What radical thing are you willing to do to stop looking lustfully, is what Jesus meant. Otherwise, there will be a lot of eye balls rolling in the street.
Are you willing to do something radical or extreme to stop your eyes from sinning?
What Jesus is also sharing is that you have to bring your eyes under control.
To do this, you have to deliberately ignore women’s deliberate intent to get your attention sexually.
This requires constant vigilance.
Notice what Peter said in his 1 general epistle……“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”
Ignoring women is not about lowering them or speaking ill will towards women.
It’s about not treating them disrespectfully. Treating them like sex objects is very disrespectful.
Sexual objectivism is the lusts of the flesh and the eyes at work.
To be sober requires a diligent effort to look to Jesus.
Your eyes must be disciplined because in the warm days ahead, the traps are set. Whether it’s the magazine rack at the checkout counter, the beach, the amusement theme parks, even in church services. If we are to win the daily battle of the eyes, make a diligent effort to look away.
All it takes is one lustful look, and it’s over.
But when you look to Jesus, all the time, every time, you can win this battle.
It is the insatiable desire to have something that is forbidden.
Each summer, flesh is displayed. The hearts of men will be tested and many will fall. The hearts of women will be tested and many will fall. At the same time, there will be some holy men and women that will guard their hearts to overcome the lusts of the flesh.
Each summer the displays of flesh get more daring, provocative, and sinful.
Sadly, these temptations enter the church. The ways of the world is seemingly permissible in the house of worship. It should be a reminder to us of the days of Israel when the Lord instructed the children of Israel to destroy everything of the previous occupants of the land. Lest Israel appropriate the same evil habits. Their failure to diligently walk in the commandments of the Lord caused the nation of Israel to undergo many problems.
So it is with the believers of today. When we fail to diligently obey the Word of the Lord, the same penalty applies to us.
With the coming of the Lord upon us, this is not the time to yield to the impulses of the flesh and mind. More than ever, we need to strengthen our resolve to “be holy as He is holy.”
A nation is not known by how great it is. A nation is known by the greatness of holiness within the nation. When God is manifested in a nation, it is because the believers in that nation are living in accordance with the Standard set in the Word of God. A preacher is not known by how great he or she can preach. A preacher is known by how he or she lives before the Lord.
For the child of God, it is essential that we guard our hearts and minds from falling into the traps that will be set. The winter time demands that we cover up but the summer time imposes the demand to wear less and less. Leaving nothing for the imagination.
Men are “sight” stimulated. Women are “touch” stimulated.
Women know that you want to watch, so they make their entrances grand. Knowing that you are sight stimulated, they will pull all the stops to make sure that you notice them. Out of their peripheral, they know that you are watching. Feminine power is always on display and it doesn’t matter if the women are married or single.
On the flip side, there are women that watch certain men. Masculinity is a power too. Yes, lust abides in both sexes. The thing that you have to do is that if you are single, and you are not ready to search for a wife, you have to discipline your mind and your eyes.
Ladies must do the same thing. If you are not laying a passive trap, you discipline what you wear so as not to attract the wrong man.
Ladies will be hurt by this next statement but, when a man is not ready to get married, they must ignore the feminine power show. It’s the same with women. The single female must ignore the masculine power show. All men interested in the opposite sex (normal) are interested in sex but the true man will look beyond the sex and recognize the person abiding in the earth suit. The earth suit is just a cover for the real person on the inside.
Sex is sex but after the sex, can you relate to the person on the inside of the earth suit?
Paul, an apostle of Christ said it like this in 1 Corinthians 7:1, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”
Watch where your eyes travel. When your heart is full of lust, your eyes will locate where to look to satisfy the desire of the flesh. When it comes to masturbation, a man will file “snap shots” in his mind to gratify himself later. That’s why Paul continues in verse 2 and says…..
“Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”
You don’t get a wife just to have sex but to also relate and procreate.
Lust in the heart is checked when the heart is full of the Word of God.
Psalm 119:11 says “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”
Filling your heart and mind with the Word is not a one shot deal. This must be done regularly as if your life (and it does) depends upon it. To sin or not to sin is a life and death issue. As long as you go after the things of the Spirit you have life and peace. The moment that you go after the flesh, it’s a matter of death.
Romans 8:5-6 says “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”
There comes a point where you want to please the Lord. There will come a time when you will get to the place where you are very selective with the kind of entertainment you watch. In fact, if you really look at it, the entertainment world is filled with lust. So the wise man will cut off the high places of lust. Yes, you would seriously consider cutting the channels (portals) of satellite, cable, Internet, and other portals that potentially get into the soul to enliven and enslave the flesh.
That’s where I am. I’ve turned the channels of the shows I used to love to watch off. I sensed the Lord calling me to a deeper commitment to guard my heart. More than ever, the anointing of the Holy Spirit is going to get stronger but the high place wasn’t removed until recently. Since then, the presence of the Lord upon my life and ministry is becoming more profound. It’s not just about being used by God. It’s more than that. I want God more than what the world has to offer.
More and more, missing it is becoming a distant thing. I realized that I don’t need it, it needs me. Just like the Internet social network (FB, Twitter, etc.). It needs me but I don’t need it. I realize that it is the new way to communicate to and with people but maybe it’s me. I don’t need to communicate on this level. To say that this is just me may be misunderstood. The Lord is calling many of His people into a deeper place of relationship and what are we willing to give up to get there?
The great men and women of God that were used had one thing that stood them out of many other men and women of God. They’ve learned to disconnect from the world and stay connected to God. My relationship with the Lord is more important than ministry. “Well done,” will not just be about what I’ve done with His talents. Did I walk in the Lord in the light as He is in the light?
As I have said in a service, I can preach right, but live wrong. I can preach wrong and live wrong. That’s hypocrisy (see Matthew 23).
I do not intend to go back because I am aware of the corrosive and abrasive elements that come with innocent shows. Even watching nature shows, the commercials come and that’s where the enemy backdoors me and many believers.
Listen to what the Lord Jesus said.
Matthew 6:22-23 “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
You see. What enters the body, whether light or darkness, enters through the eyes.
It’s the intent of the look that determines the soundness or the sickness of the heart within the body.
Consider these Scriptures.
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Matthew 15:18-20 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”
So when you intend to look lustfully, you are defiled. And you do not have to touch a woman or a man to not be defiled. Just the thought defiles you.
Remember, man sins in three ways.
Thoughts, deeds, and words.
Proverbs 27:20 says, “Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of man are never satisfied.”
Finally, learn to make a covenant with your eyes.
Job 31:1 says
“I have made a covenant with my eyes;
Why then should I look upon a young woman?”
Job made his eyes agree with the will of God to never lust after a young woman.
This is 1 Corinthians 9:27 in operation.
“But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
If you want to be genuine before the Lord, you will operate in the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” to avoid the pitfalls of the flesh. But it begins with what’s in your heart. The intent is where it begins. Then you have to make a concerted effort to cut off your “right hand” and “pluck out your right eye.”
Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free calls this “radical amputation.”
The foundation of “radical amputation” is Matthew 5:29-30 and Hebrews 12:4.
“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.
The Amplified Versions of Hebrews 12:4 says….“You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood.”
Now do not get a kitchen knife and start mutilating yourself. This is just an analogy depicting one fact.
How radical are you determined to be to be holy?
The book of James 1:2-3 tells us “…count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the trying of your faith works patience.”
Guard yourself according to Proverbs 4;23.
Your life depends upon it.
Growing up as a kid, you hear things that made you think.
Statements like “go play with yourself” had that sexual overtone that everyone knew what it’s about. However, after a while, you find yourself doing masturbation more often than you realize. Until it becomes second nature. The muscle memory and the false pleasure of having sex with someone that isn’t there became more than just “playing with yourself.”
It turned from pleasure habit into a bondage that is no different than nicotine, cocaine, or alcohol dependency.
It’s addictive. Voyeurism, exhibitionism, and other obsessive forms of sexual immorality is not that far off. That’s because with self sexual foreplay, people that are not in control will engage anywhere.
The false pros of masturbation is no relationship with another person. No STDs. No pregnancies.
You schedule your day around it.
In 1 John 2:15-17, John, the beloved apostle of the Lamb said, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of the Father abides forever.”
Lust is the law in the flesh of fallen man (male and female).
The law of lust is what’s behind masturbation.
The law of sin and death (see Romans 8:1-2) demands that lust be fulfilled, but we all know that lust is never fulfilled. It remains dissatisfied forever. Anything that is not ordained by the Lord is of the devil. The devil’s desires will always remain insatiable. Hence, the fallen state of man, these desires, unless put to death, will remain insatiable.
The corruption of flesh demands satisfaction.
The flesh demands to recharge to re-satisfy itself.
In the normal concept of sex, the reset to do it all over again is to be tempered or self controlled.
Lust is never controlled. It must be put to death.
In the last 6 years, masturbation was the most difficult thing to break. After 33 years from 1975 to 2008, a week wouldn’t go by unless I engaged in masturbation. At first, it seemed normal and innocent. Afterwards, I was hooked and developed a list of reasons to keep doing what I wanted to do. Even after marriage, I found myself engaging.
Lust after women “enhanced” this pursuit of sexual satisfaction. But satisfaction was never achieved. Even with introducing pornography in 1998, the satisfaction was never achieved.
Little did I realized that not only was I breaking God’s command about the sanctity of marriage according to Genesis 2:24, far worse, I idolized my desire to have self or solo sex.
It became my god.
The Lord God said to Moses in Exodus 20:3-6,
“You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image —any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”
To put it as bluntly as allowed, getting off was worshipped.
At this altar of sexual immorality, I paid homage to the god of lust. The second god or idol was my sexual organ. What kept me worshipping at this altar was the dopamine. The drug of fulfillment and satisfaction.
This infatuation of getting this drug in my blood stream had me coming back for more and more every time.
All it took to get me started was touching myself sexually. Or a combination of things. Lusting after the flesh. The sexual objectification of a woman’s anatomy. At the end of the day, there’s no question what was going to happen. From 2008 to 2011, the grace of God enabled me to completely abstain from masturbation.
It was a great 3.5 years of learning how to control myself.
Dr. Mark Lasser really taught the lesson on self control. He asked the greatest question I’ve ever heard.
Can you do without sex with your wife and masturbation?
The answer is yes.
Hence, the definition of addiction recovery.
“To control, manage, or stop using a particular substance, thing, or activity.”
There are many advocates that encourage masturbation as a healthy sexual practice. This would fall under the category of “control or manage.”
However, if it is being worshipped, it must stop because God has no rivals. If God is enthroned on your heart, there can be no other gods.
In reading many books that reason with making seemingly viable excuses to continue masturbation, many men will accept these arguments and stand their ground when they are challenged.
Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”
James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
So the end is always death. What kind of death? Death in your relationship with the Lord. Broken fellowship with God.
It seems right to justify sin but it always end in death. You are tempted, you fall into temptation, you yield to temptation. The desire has conceived (egg – sperm unites). Sin is birthed. Death is the result.
In Matthew 26:41, Jesus said, “Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”
Even with watching and praying, lust was lurking within me that I feared greatly.
The urge to touch myself sexually got stronger and stronger.
Mind you, I was praying. I had an accountability partner. I was teaching the men how to overcome.
Then the moment of truth came. After a setback at an event, discouragement zapped me so bad that I fell into the trap of touching myself sexually.
From 2011 to early spring of 2014, I found myself back into “playing with myself.”
To even try to deflect how I got back into masturbation or to attempt to minimize the fall is the worst thing in the world you could do. That’s because to falsely justify sexual immorality is a deception not worth going to hell over. Even to count how many times I masturbated to give a minimal number to minimize the blow is folly.
I also found out that you can’t preach effectively to sinners if you are in sin yourself. You are disqualified.
Since returning to the streets to preach, the reason that kept me from preaching in the streets was directly tied to sexual immorality running rampant in my life. There is no anointing in sin. God never anoints what He never appoints. Sin and holiness can never mingle. God’s temple cannot be full of idols. Jesus and satan can never have communion, fellowship, or unity. Darkness cannot co-mingle with light.
Ineffective living always leads to ineffective preaching. If you cannot live to obey the commands of Jesus, you can’t win a soul to Jesus. The crucified life demands denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following the Lord. Many desire to follow the Lord, but they never deny themselves (see Mark 8:34).
You deliberately cheat or defraud yourself from achieving a false pleasure to gain the highest pleasure.
You can’t talk about taking up your cross unless you deny yourself.
In other words, you stop playing with yourself.
Most ministers are ineffective because of the refusal to deny themselves.
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
Jesus said this in Matthew 5:28-30, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
This is not a stretch of revelation but you and I both know that the Lord covered masturbation because it takes an eye to lust and the hand to play. There is no question about it and to fool ourselves into thinking that the Lord wasn’t talking about self sex is foolishness and deliberate deception.
As Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free said, this is “radical amputation.”
If you refuse to cut off anything that is leading you to masturbate, notice what Jesus said….
“…for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
Will a person go to hell over masturbation?
Are you willing to let masturbation rule you like a god? And are you willing to risk it?
Remember what Revelation 21:8 says.
Remember also Hebrews 12:4.
“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
And NO. I am not telling you that you need to butcher yourself to stop sinning.
What is it that you are willing to do to stop sinning?
How far will you go?
Are you willing to pull out the TV?
Are you willing to give up your mobile device you use to spy out flesh to masturbate off of?
Are you willing to give up your passcode to your computer to an accountability partner and or your wife?
Are you willing to get off of FB or all social media?
Are you willing to walk across the street when a hot looking woman is within your periphery?
Are you willing to look in another direction when she is trying to get your attention at the magazine stand?
Are you willing to change channels if you keep your TV?
Are you willing to get up out of bed, pray and seek God when you are sexually aroused at night?
Are you willing to call your accountability partner to get prayer in your hour of temptation?
Are you willing to pick up the phone when your accountability partner calls on you to check up on you?
Are you willing to stop being evasive when asked the tough questions?
So let’s sum this up.
1. Lust must be destroyed. In fact, lust was destroyed on the cross of Christ according to 1 John 3:8.
But is lust destroyed in you? Colossians 3:5 is the answer.
2. God has no rivals. Exodus 20-3-6.
3. Excuses seems right but frivolous justification always lead to death. Proverbs 14:12, James 1:14-15.
4. Watch and pray. Matthew 26:41.
5. Discipline yourself. 1 Corinthians 9:27.
Passive and active.
Is it possible to win this struggle?
Some of you have worked diligently and have kicked soft and hard core porn to the curb but there is “passive porn” that you are struggling with.
The magazines and newspapers are filled with passive porn.
These were areas that I struggled with after porn and masturbation were dealt a death blow. However, the urges and impulses, and muscle memory desired to have me. It is usually in this phase of the struggle where you are either going to fall or remain triumphant. Falling is the easy part. Keeping yourself from falling is the battle that most men and women find the toughest.
The passive porn is the teasers.
More so, it is the same bait that got you started into porn in the first place.
For instance clothing catalogues. The internet when you are reading news. When you are watching the weather and the weather woman looks like she is clubbing. When you are watching the sit around of what used to be “The View.” Or Fox News with all these young looking women wearing club wear.
They sit with bare legs crossed, high skirt, plenty of cleavage and body hugging. Just like the prostitutes and porn stars.
Believe me when I tell you, all men get up in the morning to watch the news and they know it. So guess what they are going to wear? When you get up in the morning to catch the train, there is a certain female that you know will be wearing what she is wearing, so you plan to “check her out” every day.
Or women wear something that will catch his attention. The women zero in on him every day because she knows he is watching.
Lunch time, and then the ride home.
How can a man or woman live holy when all of these passive attacks are strategically placed to trip you up?
Jesus walked the earth with the same temptations (see Hebrews 4:14-16). Jesus proved this out as He walked the earth. While Jesus walked the earth perfectly, we, as humans in fallen flesh are far from perfection. However, we can win this battle when we set our minds on heavenly things, seeking those things which are above, not on things on the earth (see Colossians 3:1-10).
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
Jesus was not playing games when He made His first major address to the people of Israel.
Jesus said these words in Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Then Jesus closes the door to what every lustful man does.
“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
And if that weren’t enough, Jesus closes the door on what we do with our hands to ourselves in masturbation or when we touch a woman other than our wives.
“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
As Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free calls it. It’s “radical amputation.”
This means that we go to an extreme extent to prevent ourselves from sinning with our eyes and masturbate, or act out sexually with our hands.
Hebrews 12:4 says….
“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
Or more literally, “You have not cut yourselves to shed your own blood to stop yourself from sinning.”
Then Paul and the writer of Hebrews, and John, the beloved apostle gives us a knockout punch.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says….
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Hebrews 13:4 says……
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Revelation 21:8 says……
“But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
As the summer days are heating up, so are the women and men. There is nothing left for the imagination. Inside and outside the church. Sadly, a lot of men and women believe that they are not to blame. Forgive us, but when you wear what you wear. Spandex. Low cleavage, high dresses, hot pants now called “booty pants.”
There is this saying that is wicked.
“You can look but do not touch.”
Jesus killed that lie in Matthew 5:27-30.
Going to the supermarket, one woman wore her two piece bathing suit to the supermarket.
Women believe that it’s offensive for men to comment or look, but when you wear what you wear, the blame must be shared.
It is true that women wear certain clothing to attract male and female attention and so in spite of what they wear, the Lord Jesus still gives a man no excuse. We have been given the power to ignore what they wear. We may notice what sexually immoral women wear but as long as we guard the intent of what we notice, we can abstain from sinning with our eyes.
Passive pornography is everywhere.
Women are just as affected by the lusts of the flesh too. When a bare chested man walks by. Or when watching a “chick flick” with PG13 or MA rated movies are played where soft porn is observed.
When you go to the supermarket checkout counter, the magazines are strategically placed there with sexually provocative covers. However, there are magazines that do not carry those images. So in the mind of a lust filled man, he could be very creative.
How does a man or woman protect themselves?
First, if you are a born again believer, and you study the Word of God, there are plenty of ways to avoid what may be unavoidable.
Psalm 119:9-11 says….
“How can a young man cleanse his way?
By taking heed according to Your word.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.”
Do you desire to be clean?
Then take heed or obey the Word of God.
Do you desire to seek God with all of your heart?
Then do not wander or walk away from His commandments.
By hiding His Word in your heart that you do not sin against Him.
This is done when you hate sin like God hates sin. This perfect hatred of sin must be maintained for the rest of your life. The pleasures of this life lead to one thing………DEATH.
Romans 6:23 says……
“For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
James 1:14-15 says…..
“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
To be tempted is not a sin. To fall into sin after temptation is sin. Again, read James 1:14-15 of the process towards death.
To remain in unbroken fellowship with God requires moment by moment obedience to the known will of God.
That’s why the crucified life is the most difficult life for believers.
Jesus said in Matthew 16:24-27 “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.”
The crucified life is not about wearing a cross but taking upon the cross.
This is what Paul meant when he said by the Holy Spirit to mortify the deeds of the flesh in Colossians 3 and verse 5.
We must spend time making sure that our members remain dead to sin and that we remain alive to God.
As long as we are living in sin, we are dead to God and alive to the devil.
So how could this be accomplished?
Ignore what women and men are wearing. Stop looking to lust and look to please the Lord. Deliberate holiness pleases the Lord. Fill your minds with His Word and hide His Word in your hearts so that you do not sin against Him.
Finally, Romans 13:11-14 says…..
“And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.
Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
You’ve repented. Asked the Lord for forgiveness. However, you find yourself doing the same thing over again. You just can’t get past remorse to really mean that you no longer have a desire to lust in your heart and to live holy before God.
You’ve find yourself opening that door to lust again, and again.
Lusting after her or him, or both.
We all go through moments of temptation but what we do in the temptation determines our victory or defeat.
James said to “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials…”
It’s not joyful when you fail.
Lately, I’ve seen some things that were definite signs of the enemy attempting to lure me back into “habits, patterns, and cycles” of lusting after the flesh. To get the victory is one thing. To maintain the victory is another.
When you are watching TV, the commercials are more provocatively explicit than at any other time in history. Cute commercials are a thing of the past. Money and sex, sex and money are forever seamlessly connected.
Actually, men no longer watch commercials for the sake of the product. It’s the “window dressing” of the commercial that gets his attention.
Car commercials are full of these things. Ask the average semi honest man and he will tell you that he is not really interested in the car. He was interested in that hot babe in or walking around the car.
This is called, “Substitute porn.”
It’s the same with the news. No man really watches the news for the content. The ladies dress like they are going to pick up a man. So the man feels right at home in his own home, being seduced by the weather lady as she seductively walks to the green screen.
Wearing a hot dress in stilettos.
Every morning, on cue, the TV comes on because he is mesmerized by her seduction.
Even in the pulpit, we know of a few well known female TV preachers that would preach in their stilettos, strutting their stuff as they preach.
But that’s not all.
One well known female preacher would sexually and provocatively bend over and fall to her knees as if to pray. Brothers in the audience weren’t caught up in the moment of the worship or prayer. The house of worship, in some places, has become a showcase for the red carpet.
Reality shows are the same thing. The story plots are not all that interesting. The female that is wearing nothing is what a man is interested. All of these things are precursors to Internet porn, chat rooms, sexting, and other forms of “acting out” sexually.
As we all know, men are “visual effects” minded.
Women, at least some of them that are sexually provocative will wear anything that will get a man’s attention. It doesn’t matter if the man is married any more. A desperate for attention woman will go for it regardless of the man’s marital status.
The house of worship is no different. To a woman desperate for a man’s attention, she really don’t care if the presence of God is in the house. The same goes for a sexually crazed man. The presence of the Lord could be thick in the house but all it takes is for one sexually immoral woman to walk by, and the deal is done.
And because there is lust in the heart of a man, she doesn’t have to wear something sexually provocative. The lust in his heart is so strong that he can’t help but sin with his heart and eyes.
Proverbs 20:27 says, “Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”
In the 21st Century, lust is everywhere. Inside the house of worship and outside the house of worship. When a man refuses to discipline his heart and mind, it is a matter of time before he will act out the lusts of his flesh and mind.
There has to be an effort to turn the eyes from these things. In more radical cases, shut off the TV or not watch TV at all because the traps of the enemy are deliberately set for every man.
Jesus said this in Matthew 5:29-30.
“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
The writer of Hebrews 12:4 said…“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
What are you willing to do to cut yourself from the habits, patterns, and cycles that are intended to keep you in the bondage of lust?
I am not advocating taking a knife and going for it.
I didn’t say this.
What the Lord Jesus is demanding is…..what are we willing to do that is completely radical to avoid sin?
To what lengths are we willing to go to keep from sinning? If you find yourself falling into the trap of lust over and over again like a revolving door, then you haven’t done enough.
You didn’t take it to a level of a complete cut off.
Like on Sunday’s after service. We go home to watch the sports.
You know that they will have the cheerleaders in the background. Commercial breaks, nothing but sexually immoral women. Sunday night, you watch some R rated movie with soft porn.
According to XXXChurch, Sunday is the busiest day of the week to watch porn.
We really do not understand how we are being set up, but like sheep to the slaughter, we are suckered into these things every week and we wonder why we are spiritually dull. We also wonder why the Lord seems far from us. We vainly attempt to make up for it in emotionalism and euphoric hype.
As long as we feel good, God must be alright with me.
We go for the quick remorse kind of false repentance, hoping that the Lord would “understand.”
Far from the case.
God never endorse sin and the false way we repent. Because our hearts condemn us, we feel guilty and we want to either suppress that conviction or gloss it over with some type of appeasement so that we won’t feel as bad.
When lust is allowed to have a home in our hearts, it is an impediment to His presence.
1 John 3:20-22 says…
“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”
How do we know that our hearts condemn us?
Paul said in Romans 8:1….
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.”
If you are walking in the flesh, to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and the mind, your heart will condemn you. So the rest of the verse in 1 John 3 tells us….“if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God…”
How do you know that you have confidence toward God?
Paul said, “…men everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath or doubting.”
When you lift your hands in praise to God, are they holy hands? Did you keep your hands off your sexual organs? Did you keep from masturbating ?
Do you doubt your right standing and right relationship with God? Is there a question about your moral walk before God? Do you have confidence that God will not tell you that you are a hypocrite?
Confidence towards God tells us that there is no question about your current relationship with the Lord. That darkness doesn’t have a foothold, nor stronghold within you.
Jesus said this in Matthew 6:22-23…..
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness.”
Are you the gatekeeper of your heart?
Proverbs 4:23 says…
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
Your eyes is the gate but your spirit man or heart is the gatekeeper.
What you watch will get into your spirit man. Once it gets inside your spirit man, evidently, it fills your entire body. What we watch, we meditate. What we meditate on, we eventually will make, according to Romans 13:14 “…provision to fulfill its lusts.”
So we have to defend the gate.
Psalm 101:3-4 says,
“I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness.”
Who is the “I will?”
That’s your heart. You must take a knife, spiritually speaking, and cut off anything that will take you down the path to sin against God.
Psalm 141:4-5 says….
“Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men who work iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delicacies. Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked.”
Do not bend your ear to wicked things. Commercials have certain songs that are very seductive. When that sound comes, it is an attention grabber. It serves as a signal that your favorite seducer is coming on. You have to do the right thing. Gatekeepers never let the enemy walk through the front gate.
But first, there has to be a clearing out of the heart.
The Lord placed in His Word things that we need to apply in order for lust to never overcome us.
Psalm 119:9-11 says….
“How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”
Sadly, the translation from Hebrew to English gives the impression that “might not” sounds like the Word and the person that is supposed to walk int he Word might not be successful. No one is perfect, do not misunderstand me. However, when we’ve developed a strong walk in the Word of God, the “might not” has the potential to turn into a “will not.”
“Your Word have I hidden in my heart that I will not sin against you.”
How you hide the Word and what you do with that Word determines your victory.
James 1:21-25 says….
“Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.
But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.”
You hide the Word by receiving the Word instead of fighting against the Word.
The Lord gave you a good head start in your initial deliverance. Now it is time to see it through by doing the Word.
We see that the ongoing saga of undisciplined pastors and undisciplined church women is not just a problem in the church.
It is in a free fall.
In the Book “Betrayal Of Trust,” there are two kinds of sexually perverse preachers.
Predators or wanderers.
A predator seeks women as prey and wanderers “explore” another woman and then resume their marriage.
When a pastoral scandal hits, the focus of attention is placed on the preacher who betrayed his wife for another woman either in church or outside the church.
One of the most powerful books written about pastoral scandals came from Dr. Betty Price, the wife of Dr. Fred Price, called “A Warning To Ministers, Wives and Their Mistresses.”
I’ve read the book and it carries weight in uncovering some of the things that happen that are preventable. From a preacher’s standpoint, we can see that a lot of things can happen in the dynamics of church life that could set the table for an adulterous relationship to take place.
For the preacher first, here are some of the dynamics.
The preacher has lust in his heart.
It doesn’t matter what trigger mechanisms (bad day at the job, good day at the job (seeking reward), arguments with the wife, etc.), or his emotional state. Lust is always at the core. Lust is always the root of all adulterous affairs. There is no wiggle room, nor excuses. Where the Lord should have been enthroned, He was dethroned by and for lust in a man’s heart.
Betrayal of a wife happens as the end result of a preacher who betrayed his Lord first.
Betrayal of the Lord must take place before lust can assume the throne of a man’s heart. Man must seek sin when he stops seeking the Lord. It doesn’t have to be this way.
It doesn’t take long for a pastor to cross lines that he claims that he would never cross. As a thing that I’ve learned when I was involved in the sin of porn and masturbation, there is always a line to cross. The moment that you begin to say that you wouldn’t cross that line, is the moment that you’ve crossed it.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t think about it.
Just in level one sex addiction (1. thoughts, 2. fantasies, 3. porn, 4. masturbation, 5. adulterous affairs-fornication-homosexuality, 6. prostitution), there are lines crossed just in this list alone.
You will note that I numbered the progression in order.
Notice what the Lord Jesus said in Matthew 15:19.
“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”
Now notice what the Lord said in Matthew 5:27-30.
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
Now notice what the Lord said in Matthew 6:22-23.
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
If you are a good Bible student in comprehending this, you could readily see that everything originates from the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9 says….
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?”
So now go back to Matthew 15:19 and Jesus said,
“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts…”
The Amplified says it this way…
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts (reasonings and disputings and designs) such as…”
So when you look at the condition of the heart that is un-regenerated, nothing but evil thoughts like “…adulteries, fornications…” will come forth.
Then the Lord talks about a man looking at a woman with a lustful intent in Matthew 5:26-30. So from the condition of the heart, we now see the heart communicating to the mind to look lustfully at a woman or man.
When is lustful intent established? When a man looks sexually at the body parts. Usually he starts with face, hair, then cleavage, hips, legs, then the backside.
Too much truth, but you know that’s what happens. No such thing as too much truth any way because truth is truth.
The mind registers this information within seconds and because he is “Wired For Intimacy,” (get the book from Dr. William Struthers), he falls into the easiest trap of sexual sins.
The sin of lust aroused him sexually and to let off sexual tension, he must repent and gain control of himself, turn on porn as fuel for his lust to masturbate off of, or because he filed her flesh in the lust section of his mind, he masturbates off of that, or release sexual tension through adultery, or fornication.
But the Lord didn’t stop there. He places the eyes and hands as the next step of progression. For a man, it is not enough to just look. He must progress to touch, otherwise, in his or her mind, he or she feels cheated, and unfulfilled. That’s why with level one sex addiction (and not everyone is a sex addict), the thoughts turns into fantasy. The fantasy is fueled by looking (eyes), and then the hands engage in satisfaction.
In most cases, self satisfaction or for other men, outright engaging the opposite or same sex for sex comes into play.
Let’s go back to the eyes for a moment.
What a man or woman sees determines the light or darkness of the heart. This works well with James 1:14-15.
I must point out that the enemy does bring the temptation, however, once the man or woman has trained the senses to fulfill sin, the enticement becomes an integrated part of a habit, cycle, or pattern to fulfill sin.
With little to no thought at all, you do what you do on automatic pilot. There are some people that will sin and not mind the varying steps to fulfill sin, so long as one is fulfilled.
So in James 1:14-15, this is what happens….
“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
So if your heart is already dark, either because of lust lurking in the heart or because you failed to resist the temptation to look with the intent of lust, you proceed down the path to acquire satisfaction. The mind also enters into a depraved indifference state of mind where you desire to achieve satisfaction regardless of how you hurt others, including the Lord.
Sin is simply selfish individual needs. We become so self centered that we do not care who gets hurt in the process, from start to finish.
So with women that bedded a preacher, this attitude captured in Proverbs 30:20 is fitting.
“This is the way of an adulterous woman:
She eats and wipes her mouth,
And says, “I have done no wickedness.”
There is no question that there are women that come to church to sexually connect with the preacher but what happens afterwards? She will do everything to stay with him.
With Deitrick Haddon committing the sin of adultery and divorced his wife (accused of adultery with Issac Carre), while we will never know everything that went on to facilitate the sin, one thing is certain.
God is not pleased.
Now just because, allegedly, your wife had an adulterous affair, it doesn’t mean that you turn around and have an adulterous affair as pay back. We all know that if this is the case, it was done in response to her adulterous affair. Very childish because according to the Lord Jesus, your divorce is permitted (see Matthew 5:31-32). The emotional trauma of being betrayed is described in Proverbs 6:32-35.
“Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
He who does so destroys his own soul.
Wounds and dishonor he will get,
And his reproach will not be wiped away.
For jealousy is a husband’s fury;
Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will accept no recompense,
Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts.”
But for the woman that Detrick Haddon committed adultery with, she is without excuse. If Detrick used his personality to have sex with her and she failed to resist, she is just as guilty. Like all women, they want a man and they want to marry. Some believe that the only way that will happen is when you give them what they want and give them a child.
What should have happened is that if a pastor uses his personality to attempt to obtain sex, your job as a woman that knows God is to resist. If he is involved with a divorce from his wife that committed adultery on him, she must wait until the divorce is final.
Then, and only then could she be pursued to be married first.
She willingly agreed to sin with him and she is culpable.
Many will say that you are beating a dead horse.
Perhaps, but you can learn a lot from what led to the killing of a dead horse.
Remember, David’s sin was placed in the Bible. It can be read over and over again so we can learn not to do what David did. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10, they were written for our examples. So all you folk out there that want to try to sweep this under the rug and tell others not to judge, back it up and learn from this.
Besides, read Matthew 7:2-5 before you risk isolating a text (Matthew 7:1) to keep the heat off your sins.
Bedding preachers opens the door for other brothers in and out of ministry to allow the things of this world infiltrate into the church. It gives other brothers and sisters in the Lord to do the same thing with seemingly impunity. We must understand that perversion is of the devil.
We tend to forget that the Lord was hurt by this and we treat God like He doesn’t get hurt by what we do against His will. When will we get a revelation of the fact that God is hurt by what we deliberately do? We tell God to get over it, “I am human.”
Then why did He send His Son Jesus to die for us? It means nothing to us when we treat God the way we do. Dogs get better treatment.
I want to use this as the backdrop simply because this is played out across the American church landscape. The woman that willfully committed adultery is culpable. While it is a problem in the church, what is gained?
First comes false love, then come the baby carriage, here comes momma in no marriage.
Is this the way to do business before the Lord? Absolutely not.
According to Paul’s teaching on the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, we have the self discipline of Jesus called “temperance or self control.”
According to Paul’s teaching in Romans 8:9….
“But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.”
So if we have the Spirit of Christ in us, we have the self control of Jesus within us.
So let’s change the atmosphere of the church from a club to……….His church.
Chaste, holy, without blemish. Righteous, and clean.
We can control ourselves. Otherwise, we defame the name of the One we claim to have as Lord and the real lord of our lives (the devil) is truly our real lord.