The Power To Do Without Solo Sex

There are many males and females in the Body of Christ that cannot do without solo sex called masturbation.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

The reasons range from, “There is nothing in the Bible that says that I can’t masturbate,” “I’m on a long distance trip away from my wife, I got to “get off” before I go crazy.”  to “My spouse is sick and I need to let off a little sexual tension.” “To keep myself from fornicating, committing adultery, or get a girl pregnant, or get an STD, I masturbate.”

While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that says that we can’t masturbate, equally, there is no Scripture that says that you are permitted to engage.

A lot of people have accused proponents of no masturbation that we engage in extra Biblical standards. I call it “elasticity of the Scriptures.”

Meaning that we’ve stretched or added to the Bible to prohibit the practice of masturbation.

I’ve been accused of this as well as other men and women of God that broke free from masturbation.

The grace of God operates in us as we obey the Word of God to abstain from every appearance of evil.

Just as people will read what I’ve just said, they will say, where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil?

No where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil.

But we know that selfishness is evil. And masturbation is not about selflessness but it’s about selfishness.

If you cannot control yourself, then you are selfish. Right?

This question requires a Yes or NO.

Is masturbation about selflessness or selfishness?

Yes or No?

Then why did I say that it is evil?

Aren’t you “stretching” the Scriptures?

Genesis 2:24 says these words….“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

When it comes to solo sex, you are having sex with yourself. God created Eve for Adam. There is no where in the Bible where we see that Adam masturbated. If that were true, that Adam masturbated, then Eve, or the body of a woman wouldn’t be necessary.

Also, look at what the Lord said in Genesis 2:18.

“And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Solo sex is a sex act alone. You are fantasizing sex alone or by yourself. So because God said it is not good that man should be alone, it doesn’t take calculus to figure it out.

Masturbation would be necessary if God never intended to make Eve for Adam.

Since God made Eve for Adam, masturbation is not necessary.

Let me point something out.

Many masturbators will argue that there is nothing wrong with occasional masturbation, or experimental masturbation. Usually proponents of masturbation will defend rigorously the solo sex act.

Masturbators will create reasons to defend masturbation but the ultimate undeniable reason is……

Lust in the heart.

In reading several books on this subject, there are many men that use porn to increase the arousal to perform solo sex. As one man of God put it, “You do not need porn to masturbate, I got porn all in my head.” All you need are fantasy or thoughts, and urges and impulses to get you going. In one book called “Every Young Man’s Battle,” a young man said “I find it very difficult to masturbate without thinking lustfully.”

Then again, you may not have to have a beautiful woman in your mind to masturbate.

You could lust after you.

You could have an infatuation of your own genitals and the way you bring yourself to orgasm and or ejaculation.

Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword Of The Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY shared that masturbation is the stepping stone or “door to the beginning stages of homosexuality.”

As a man, you are doing you.

I know that MSM is a man having sex with another man but what is masturbation?

You having sex with you.

Therefore, masturbation is a selfish, obsessive fetish of your genitals.

Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:1, “…For men will be lovers of themselves.”

The word “themselves” means “fond of self.”

The Amplified says “self centered.”

That’s exactly what masturbation is.

Self centered.

Besides, it’s all about you “getting off.”

So if the Lord made a woman that you are to marry to have sex with, is there any justification for masturbation?

Listen to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 (AMP).

“But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire.]”

If masturbation were permitted, why didn’t Paul say, “But if they have not self control, they should masturbate. For it is better to masturbate than to be aflame…”

So the remedy of masturbation is to get married.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:2 “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

Sex is designed by God to be shared, not for selfish solo sex.

There will be disagreement, and that is unavoidable, but the disagreers have yet to provide one Scripture to justify their position to justify masturbation.

I, and many others have given Scripture to remedy the need for masturbation. Yet, we have yet to see proponents of masturbation to present Scriptural justification to masturbate.

For instance, we expect to see from the proponents of masturbation the following…..Masturbation is justified because the Bible said……

But we know that we won’t see that.

Instead, we get…..“The Bible said nothing about not masturbating.”

Just because the Bible is silent it isn’t permission.

If something like sex was designed by God, then it will follow the Manufacturer’s Manual for use.

Jesus mentioned two things. Eye and hand.

Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

How many brothers and sisters in Christ will testify that they use their hands (female use of sex toys) to masturbate and they use their eyes to search for a sexual object to meditate on sexually?

Here, the Scriptures gives us the blueprint for sexual activity within the confines of the “one flesh” principle according to Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 7:9.

You can’t be one flesh by yourself. You need an opposite partner to become one flesh. Otherwise, you are in violation of what God originally intended in sex.

Again, if masturbation were justified by God, there would be no need for Eve.

Pretend sex would negate the necessity of a woman.

Therefore, when it comes to masturbation, “you are brought under its power.”

When you are brought under its power, it means that it has control over you. The way that the flesh is designed, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is “wired” for sex. He also said that “porn hijacks the brain.”

When you are brought under its power, at any moment, you can think about sex and the body of a man is engaged until sexual release takes place. A man that is under control will never give themselves over to his or her sexual urges and impulses. One of the fruit of the Spirit is “temperance” or “Self control.”

If you cannot stop, you are not under control.

In fact, even when you occasionally masturbate, you are not under control. Your lusts or animal impulses is managing the urges and impulses.

Complete control demands that you do not give yourself over to your urges and impulses.

The discussion of masturbation is still a taboo subject among men. One person in my secular employment said out of his mouth, “man does it all the time, it’s no secret.”

And he is right, Yet, to discuss it in the open is still a secret.

Why?

It is embarrassing. The conscience is still offended. Why is the conscience offended? It is a clear indication that you are doing something that the body is not designed to do as far as a solo act is concerned. Nonetheless, a man will engage in masturbation because he can’t control his urges and impulses the way Jesus did when He walked the earth. That’s why He gave us woman. We select a female to marry and we could have all the sex we want.

However, we have come to see that even while married, a married man is out of control. Having sex with his wife, still seems like it isn’t enough.

Why?

Proverbs 27:20 gives us the answer.

“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

The sexual process always begins with what’s in the heart of a man. Then he goes into search mode with his eyes. His body then makes provision to fulfill that lust in the heart, and sin, when it is finished, brings for death (see James 1:14-15). If you ever wonder why you have that “condemned” feeling after you’ve masturbated, it’s because you sinned against your body.

Look at what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

I trust that after reading this that you would seriously consider that God is looking to help you overcome solo sex.

If you are single or married, and you are struggling to stop masturbating, there is some help on this blog page. Sexual Addiction Recovery.

Usually when you are participating in the practice of Secret Sexual Sins and you fight to preserve something that you know is wrong, it is a clear indication that you are convicted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t argue to fight for it.

If you feel condemned and you want to argue about continuing to masturbate, I understand your position. Having been involved in masturbation for 33 years with relapse after breaking free and for 10 years of these 33 years involved with pornography, I too, argued until I came clean and asked the Lord to help me overcome masturbation.

There is help. You just got to be bold enough to break free and break loose from the arguments to continue to masturbate.

Mastering The Urge Like Jesus, To Never Masturbate

Setting Captives Free by Mike Cleveland has a very intense and challenging course called “Way To Purity.”

I’ve taken and completed this course and received a certificate. I can say that this course challenged me in more ways than I could ever imagine. But it gave me the fortitude and determination to forever kill, deaden, and deprive of power the animal impulses that were lurking in my members. The porn part was killed in November 2008, but the masturbation lingered until 2009. Since that time, I’ve had some relapses until I needed to stop the hypocrisy and live a life the way Jesus did in His sexual discipline.

Since the last relapse early this year, 2014, I’ve been able to finally put to rest the urge to masturbate. Because Jesus did, I can because it is by His grace. I’ve learned to set a watch over my life the way that Jesus did and I catch every little move I make. The fastest way to lose the anointing over your life is when you do not catch yourself in an instant and remind yourself that you are a dead man. Dead men do not respond to sin. I am alive unto God and that’s the only way to live. Dead to sin, alive to God. Obeying His Word and denying the flesh any chance to run amuck.

Also I am back on the street preaching beat.  You can’t talk about deliverance, full and complete if you are a hypocrite in front of sinners. You can’t preach with unction if you commit sin like sinners. As Lenard Ravenhill once said, “A praying man will never sin, and a sinning man will never pray.”

Setting Captives Free deals with porn and masturbation in the lives of men.

The last time I checked the site, there were over 3 million hits.

But I’ve also noticed the amount of men and women that actually either started the course or have completed this 60 day course.

Yes.

Sixty Days.

The amount of men and women that started or completed the course was approximately 300,000 persons. 

Unless I am wrong, that’s 10 percent that dared to break free of porn and masturbation. The course is designed with an accountability partner that will not let you off the hook should you fail to maintain your pursuit to holiness and purity according to the Scriptures.

Not everyone will appreciate an accountability partner because depending on who you get, it will not be pleasant. I believe in accountability because when we attempt to do accountability on our own, we will do a “mulligan.” We will make up the rules and should we feel the need to cheat, we will do so unhesitatingly.

I do not believe that because of an accountability partner watching your answers at the end of each course, whether you’ve watched porn or masturbated in 24 hours is the reason why many would not do the course.

I believe that it may be part of the reason but it is not to be blamed. The accountability part is there as a very serious integrity factor because in the end, you have to answer to the Lord. You can lie about it but you will be guilty of two things.

1. Sexual immorality.

2. Lying.

Both of these are listed as persons who will be cast into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone forever according to Revelation 21:8.

Pornography, for most men is just fuel to the fire. So a man could masturbate without watching porn.

If you are really honest with yourself, you will note that masturbation is the most difficult part to break because solo sex is muscle memorized. The mind and body expect you to release sexual tension anytime. To have to answer the question about whether you’ve masturbated or not is a very embarrassing question because it shows that you are either in control or not.

One of the fruit of the Spirit is “self control.”

As a born again believer, you have within you the Spirit of God. Paul also calls this the Spirit of Christ. There is a reason. You have Jesus in you by the Spirit. The same self control that Jesus exhibited when He walked the earth is in you. This means that at anytime, you can obey the Word of God every time.

This doesn’t mean that you are perfect. This means that you can stop masturbating any time you want to.

When you are driving a car, and you approach an intersection. The light turned red. What do you do? You come to a stop.

At every intersection, the same thing happens. The urge to run that red light is tempered by the fact that you will hurt or kill yourself and others. That’s the top of your worries. The secondary worry is a ticket, a fine, or a suspension, or revocation of your driver’s license.

These things reinforces this one fact that it is in your best interest to stop.

When it comes to masturbation, we do not think about stopping.

We invent ways to get it done and we deceive our minds into thinking that the Lord would forgive us.

1 John 1:5-10 serves as a reminder that when we deceive ourselves, we are not fooling God. 1 John 3 declares to us that when it comes to sin, we either have the seed of God or we are of the offspring of the devil. We cannot practice sin or lawlessness and practice righteousness at the same time.

So mastering the urge to masturbate must be a way of life until death.

Jesus was a man subject to the same passions as we, yet, He didn’t sin (see Hebrews 4:14-16). Jesus sympathizes with our weakness and He identifies with them. What we need to do is identify with His obedience and His desire to please the Father at all times. Mastering masturbation begins by learning how Jesus obeyed the Father.

John 8:29 tells us that Jesus always did those things that please the Father. Jesus went to the place of prayer and He was found customarily in the temple or synagogue reading the Word or the law. As long as He found Himself doing these things, temptation would come, but He would master these temptations by obeying the Word.

Jesus learned obedience according to Hebrews 5:8 through the things He suffered.

Jesus said in Matthew 25:41 that the “spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”

In our weak moments, the grace of God is at its strongest. But we have to find grace.”

In other words, we have to exert the effort to get before God to prevent ourselves from falling into temptation. The urge to masturbate usually occurs in the morning or late at night. But anyone could masturbate at any time. The male system is designed to be sexual at any time. However, it is during these times that a man is aroused the most. His mind is not engaged at work and is at rest so when a thought or image of sex comes, it is very easy to engage the hand in sexual self foreplay.

It is in these moments I believe that Jesus was challenged the most. But the Lord had developed a way out every time. He got up to pray. He changed His venue. Many times I thought about the fact that the Lord Jesus got up to pray but my only reason was because He wanted to be more anointed to minister.

Luke 4:18 tells us that Jesus was anointed.

Not only did Jesus wanted to fellowship with the Father, He got up to pray before He fell into sin after temptation.

The Bible says that Jesus sympathizes with us and that we do not have a High Priest who cannot be touched with the feelings of our weaknesses. In other words, Jesus never would tell us to deal with it because He dealt with temptation Himself. Jesus knows what we go through so He can help us defeat the urge to masturbate provided we change our venue, get up and pray.

It is too late to pray for strength after sinning.

I used to think that if I just go through the process of masturbation without ejaculation that I didn’t masturbate.

That was a lie and I deceived myself. Any form of sexual self contact that arouses the flesh is a violation. To prevent myself from doing this, I had to change my venue like Jesus. Additionally, I had to tell myself that it is hypocritical. The hands had to stop traveling and the mind had to stop self deception. The urges are strong but they are never stronger than the grace of God given in times of weakness and weak moments.

Any laps of the mind and hands and you will find yourself where you shouldn’t be.

So learn to change your venue. Get up and pray. Get up and read the Word. Change what you are meditating on. Refuse to look for ways to get around the sin of masturbation. Learn to discipline yourself before you wreck yourself. The Holy Spirit will give you a way out to overcome temptation. He is the same Holy Spirit that worked with Jesus during His time of temptations according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.

You can master the urge to masturbate just like Jesus did.

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