Understanding The Habits And Behaviors Of Porn Watchers

The recent and current laptop scandal of our times uncovered pornography on the hard drive of a specific laptop.

Proverbs 27:20 (NKJV Strong’s)

“Hell and Destruction are never full;
So the eyes of man are never satisfied.”

Proverbs 27:20 (AMPC)

“Sheol (the place of the dead) and Abaddon (the place of destruction) are never satisfied; so [the lust of] the eyes of man is never satisfied.”

When I was in the deep dark world of pornography, males have many habits and behaviors that are perverted.

When it comes to flesh on the screen, it’s more than objectifying the body.

It’s idolatry.

Exodus 20:14-17 (NKJV Strong’s)

“You shall not commit adultery.
“You shall not steal.
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Colossians 3:5 (NKJV Strong’s)

“Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

Covetousness, which is idolatry.

An idol is something that is WORSHIPPED.

So when a male watches porn, it’s idolatry.

In sex acts, you are worshipping their bodies, but in all actuality, you’re worshipping demons.

Several years ago, part of my ritual was to copy on video what I’ve paid for on PPV. There was no need to go to the smut store.

You were able to capture the idol on tape to refer to it later to masturbate off of.

You’re essentially replaying an act of worship.

In my previous blog, I’ve shared how I was caught in the world of pornography.

In this blog, this is the way that male capture an image because the mind tends to forget the image and need a way to recapture what aroused them. Multiple images would come on my laptop for free, but I had a little sense not to store them on the hard drive.

But your computer signature is imprinted on every site you’ve visited, and that signature remains forever. Even after you’ve destroyed the hard drive and the laptop, you can still be traced to those sites.

My greatest fear came up that with all of these adult sites would appear on my laptop, what if a child porn site appeared? I wasn’t into child porn but what if you clicked on that site by ACCIDENT?

There’s over 150,000 child porn sites. It’s very easy for the FBI to trace who’s watching these sites. Even if you clicked it by ACCIDENT, they will investigate. SO just imagine Hunter Biden and other men and women clicking these sites deliberately or BY ACCIDENT.

You would have to prove that you didn’t do it by accident. Yes, the prosecution has the burden of proof and the defendant has the presumption of innocence, but when your name is attached to sexual crimes, the damage is already done.

Now, a man is able to download, chat room, live stream, and other means of performing sexual immorality, not just on the laptop, but on any device.

How does a person solve the problem of downloading porn on any device?

Matthew 5:27-30 (NKJV Strong’s)

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

One man of God called it “radical amputation.”

No matter what hotel room he went to, he demanded that the TV be removed. Why? Because the Lord trained him to remove the temptation.

But laptops and other devices are a very different thing. These devices are critical devices for some men. But if you could discipline yourself then it could be done.

Now, I didn’t say for you to go to the kitchen and get a real knife.

If your laptop is an impediment, perhaps you need ways to implement safeguards of accountability.

Giving your wife the passcode to your laptop and cell phone. Daily investigations to see where you’ve been. But sadly, temptations are still everywhere.

Women still dress provocatively and in most places they may be dressing normal, but the mind drifts. Women can’t be and should never be blamed for everything. Some women however, are deliberate provocateurs, but you have to catch yourself and not allow yourself to fall into temptation.

The laptop is a very necessary tool. But we need to be accountability. Someone that can ask the tough questions every day.

Very few have the inner discipline to abstain from porn.

In Galatians 5:22 we see that the fruit of the Spirit is “self discipline.”

It takes a willingness to keep yourself. But it may require additional accountability measures to help you keep yourself.

If you’re willing to take the next step, it will be tough, but it can be done.

Pastor’s Wives; Husband Caught Looking At Another Woman

Here you are, in your car and a woman walks by. You notice out of the corner of your eye that your pastor husband is checking her out. You think nothing of it. But another one walks by and he does the same thing. Only this time, he seems to be enjoying the “movement” and quickly catches out of the corner of his eye that you were looking at him.

Caught!

Red handed!

What can you do to get him to stop looking at other women?

Usually, it’s a clear indication that pastor/husband may have Secret Sexual Sins going on in his life. What a man does in the privacy of his life is to be exposed. Porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation may also be in play here.

The objectification of women is the filing of a woman in the mind of man to “ponder” over the image later. Or it may drive him to the Internet or other media forms to satisfy the curiosity of the flesh and the mind.

First, here is some information that you need that you may already be aware of. If not, take the time to read and comprehend the world of men.

Job 31:1 (WEB)

“I made a covenant with my eyes, How then should I look lustfully at a young woman?

What the eyes observe is a revelation of the kind of heart a man has. What a person takes in and what a person ponders uncovers who his Lord is.

The Lord said in Matthew 6:22-23,

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Whatever you are watching or whatever is allowed into the body through the eye will either be dark or light. Whatever you observe in the natural is quickly analyzed and translated in terms of the spiritual originating source.

If the heart is dark, it is because of what the eye allowed in. If the heart is light, it is because of what the eye allowed in.

If your “eye” is good or as the Greek defines it, “clear or single”.

Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words says this about the word “single”….

“is used in the moral sense…of the eye; “singleness” of purpose keeps us from the snare of having a double treasure and consequently a divided heart.”

So when a married man looks at another woman, he has a bad eye and it indicates that he has a double heart because he is treasuring someone else’s woman or just treasuring another woman.

It’s called “objectification.” That’s a polite word for lusting after the flesh.

Jesus called it “adultery.”

Listen to what the Lord said in Matthew 5:27-30,

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ’But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

You do not have to be in bed with a woman to commit fornication or adultery. The eyes, mind, and hands is all that a man needs to “act out” sexually by himself.

If you were a man during this time and you heard this from the Lord, all of a sudden, you are left with a big decision. Jesus gives a radical command. Then the Lord gives a radical solution to a sinful problem. Jesus knew that it would hurt a man because sin hurts the heart of the Father more.

If you want to really stop lusting with your eyes, pluck your eye out. Now listen. Jesus wasn’t commanding men to start pulling their eyes out. He was declaring that you have to employ the most radical solution to avoid lusting after a woman with your eyes.

The way that I pluck my eye out is by looking the other way. Completely avoid eye contact. Other forms of radical would be to close your eyes when you are seated as they walk by you. Turn off and remove the TV. Stop watching sex laced movies. Stay off the Internet. Give your wife all the access codes to your computer. Get Internet software to blow the whistle on you if you go to questionable sites. Accountability partners, starting with your wife and other band of brothers that will ask you the tough questions and hold your feet to the fire. And to pray for you and counsel you when necessary. When you go to the hotel, ask them to remove the TV, shut down all the cable or satellite feeds to your room. According to XXXChurch, the average time spent watching porn in a hotel room is 12 minutes.

When Christian conferences are held across the country, there is no doubt that some Christian man or pastors will watch porn when they get to their hotel room.

No question in my mind.

To radically shut down the flesh or cut off the eye, you must consider canceling your Directv, Dish, Cable, or other forms of entertainment. Do not take all day to consider. If this has been tripping you up, is it worth going down the path of sin by keeping your subscription if you can’t discipline yourself?

The question is, “How far are you willing to go to keep your eye clear to please the Father?”

You have your wife in the car and another woman walks by, you have to exercise the discipline of covenant (provided that you made a covenant) with your eyes. Your spirit, soul, and body agree never to look at a woman lustfully.

Covenant means agreement or alliance.

Every time a woman comes within your “zone” or periphery, you zone that woman out. This is the most difficult thing to do for men because we were designed to observe beauty. But just because you were designed to “look,” it doesn’t mean that you have permission to look when you want to at will.

When we got married, the search ended. There is no need to “find a wife.” Your right to look was stripped away from you because of the law of marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7:27 & 39).

You have selected your woman, out of all the women in the world, to be your wife. So the search for beauty ends and you are enraptured with the one you’ve selected. No other woman is to be powerful enough to turn your head. No other woman is to capture your attention. No other woman is on the level of beauty and admiration. You have settled and there is no turning back.

Single men have it bad because the variety is too much to bear. Married men have it bad only when they take their eyes off of the one they married to look at another.

How does a pastor’s wife stop her husband from looking?

Great question.

Here are some suggestions….

1. Redirection of what he is searching for.

There is no question that the world’s solution is short sighted. The Biblical solution is the only recommended course.

Your husband has a lust issue.

This is because if he doesn’t spend time in the presence of the Lord in personal devotion, he is only using natural means to satisfy a spiritual desire to be intimate.

Men were created to search. So it makes sense that your husband is to search after the Lord according to Psalm 27:8.

He needs to get back into the presence of the Lord. I read a research statistic from 1996 that 57% of pastors spend less than 20 minutes or less in prayer. This opens the door for more meditation on darkness. Many pastors are wallowing in the dark places because they are not in the secret place as they should.

Intimacy and fellowshipping with God is part of our personal relationship with the Lord. We can be very “professional” in our approach to ministry. It is very easy to turn the switch on to preach and pastor but when it comes to living out of our personal well of everlasting life, we fail miserably. Can the people in your church see Christ in your walk or are they just seeing your professional face as pastor?

2. Your husband needs to return to you.

Perhaps some issues took place in the church or his life that causes him to “detach” or “disconnect” from you. Any disconnection or detachment from the Lord usually cascades into other areas. When a man detaches himself from the Lord, he is searching for reconnection. The places where he wants to connect is what he is prohibited from connecting with.

Marriages suffer tremendously when a male pastor disconnects from God because the next disconnection is the wife and family. As married couples progress, there are many events that take place that drive a male pastor away from his wife. And it usually is not the wife’s fault. When the male pastor’s eye is not single, he will look at another woman and he will not call it sin.

The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is operating in him and he has yet to learn how to reign in and kill or deprive of power these “animal impulses.”

So how does a wife solve these two problems?

When was the last time you had a real vacation? Or a short time away from the work of the ministry? When was the last time you walked away and left the elders in charge to handle the church affairs? When was the last time you let the relatives handle the kids while you steal away to a hotel for the night?

Most of the time, conferences were as close to hotel as you were going to get. But you need to not plan to go to another conference. You need to plan for you. Husbands are stubborn.

Especially pastor/husbands.

There has to be some way to get your husband reintroduced to who you are. I find that many pastors are so caught up in their work that they forget that they are married and then the flesh and eyes begin to search for everything other than the Lord and their own wives.

It’s time to reassess and get rest. It’s time to get reacquainted with each other before a sex scandal ends another marriage.

When you see your husband/pastor look at another woman, he is searching. He is searching for the wrong thing. He needs to get back into searching for the true and living God and he needs to search you, his wife out, in places away from ministry and work.

To listen to our groundbreaking series, Secret Sexual Sins, click this link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/prevailingword1