Tagged: self control

Sexually Under Self Control

The times of Noah and Lot revealed two groups of people that were out of sexual control.

While there’s no pronounced declaration that homosexuality existed during the times of Noah, we shouldn’t assume that homosexuality didn’t exist.

However, the depravity that existed was enough for the Lord to destroy every person and animals on land.

So horrible was the wickedness of man that the Lord “repented” for making man.

Genesis 6:5-8 (NKJV Strong’s) “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. So the Lord said, “I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.” But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.”

We will never understand the magnitude of the Lord being sorry for making man, but one of the things we should consider is the fact that despite what God knew before He made man, He did it anyway.

Now, there was a critical exception.

“…Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.”

Noah made an effort to live above the sin and made it his mandate to find grace.

Proving that it’s possible that with sin all around you to be the exception.

If you look around you, abortion, zoophilia, homosexuality, adultery, fornication, are still areas where people in the world and those professing faith in Christ are having trouble.

But it’s the other things connected that we should also be concerned about.

Drugs, alcohol, prostitution (male/female), and pornography & masturbation are deeply rooted and connected. It’s a web that entangles all who refuse to refrain from being a prisoner of sin.

So much so that deceived people believe that you could engage in these activities and the Lord is good with this.

Not so.

If God winked or turned a blind eye to sexual sins, then consequential judgment for committing these sins would be annulled. The consequential judgment is the STDs that manifest as a result of committing sexual sins.

It’s clear that the numbers of people not under sexual self control consistently increase, not decrease. Among preachers and pastors, the numbers increase and not decrease.

There’s no fear of God, no fear of being turned away by God. No fear of embarrassment (the least of all fears).

1 Corinthians 9:27 (NKJV Strong’s) “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”

Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV Strong’s) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

It’s possible, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to abstain from acting on the urges and impulses of the mind to seek to immorally satisfy the flesh.

Time is running out, whether the coming of the Lord or the imminent time of our deaths.

During the time of Noah, people refused to heed the preaching of Noah.

All were destroyed.

During the time of Lot where known homosexuality was prevalent in the city of Sodom and Gomorrah, and prevalent in other cities that were destroyed along with Sodom and Gomorrah, people refused to repent.

All were destroyed.

This world is facing the same results of destruction.

God will not destroy this world again in a flood, because God promised He wouldn’t destroy the world the way He did it in the flood as recorded in Genesis 8:20-22. Peter (see 2 Peter 3:10-13) reminds us of God’s promise to destroy the world by fire. Sodom and Gomorrah is a precursor to the kind of destruction that man will receive after the Great White Throne Judgment recorded in Revelation 20.

Therefore, it’s an incentive to not live out of control lives.

Jesus reminds us that we need to be born again.

And while we remain on the earth, to live disciplined lives.

Otherwise, our professed walk before the Lord is suspect, and hypocritical.

2016 Resolution- No More Porn & Masturbation

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As 2015 comes to a close, many have put a close to this year and they are looking forward to 2016. The toughest resolution is the resolution to exercise. Many failures occur just after the first week, but without a doubt, there is a resolution much tougher than dieting and exercising.

Ending porn and masturbation in your life.

Will you put an end to porn and masturbation?

This is not high on the “to do” list of resolutions for 2016.

Women and men are struggling to climb out of the slimy pit of porn and masturbation.

They have made a decision to go cold turkey but all of a sudden, the urges and impulses return.

The eyes and hands travel.

Habits, cycles, and patterns return and it’s worse than before.

Galatians 5:22 talks about the fruit of the Spirit called “self control.”

The parable of the sower in Luke 8 reveals the place where many are when it comes to sexual immorality. When people make a clean break from porn and solo sex, the body is adjusting to sexual normalcy.

Dr. Mark Laaser calls is “sexual sobriety.”

Depending on how you desire to be free and remain free determines the outcome.

Many men and women receive the Word regarding sexual immorality freedom and then the tempter comes. Or, we open ourselves up to temptation by watching certain shows that has sexuality in it. Or our eyes travel to sexually look at another person.

Luke 8:13 “But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away.”

Notice “who believe for a while….”

The Greek gives the impression that it was a very short period of time. Most believers would hold out and that’s where the struggle begins. You renege on a promise to abstain and the enemy or even our own minds decide to meditate on what was left behind at the altar.

Our lusts of the flesh and mind.

In studying “Way To Purity” from Setting Captives Free from Mike Cleveland, the course shared several times about “radical amputation” from what Jesus shared in Matthew 5:29-30 that “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

And Hebrews 12:4 “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”

How radical are you willing to go?

Sell your computer? Oh, but you have your iPhone or other small devices to view deliberately or by accidental glance at sexual objects intentionally attached to catch your eye.

How radical are you willing to go?

Throw away your cable or satellite subscription? Disconnect the TV. Discontinue going to the movies, purchasing DVD with sexual themes, avoid sports when the commercials of sexually provocative women are paraded before your eyes? Stop watching the News because you know, like on FOX News, they have women dressed for the club on their shows? Or certain talk shows where certain A movie stars will be on the show to look at?

How radical are you willing to go?

Paul shared about mortifying the deeds of the flesh in Colossians 3:5… “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

Are you willing to execute everything to please the Lord?

And James and Peter shared these powerful words.

James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

1 Peter 4:8-9b “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”

Make this your verse of Scripture to live by for 2016 and for the rest of your life, or until Jesus comes, which ever comes first.

1 John 5:18 “We know that whoever is born of God does not sin; but he who has been born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him.”

This is not impossible as it has much to do with your determination to live free of the flesh. The work on the cross of Jesus made this possible.

By the grace and help of the Helper, Comforter, Standby, and Counselor, and through strict obedience to the Word of God, you can turn this resolution into an everlasting promise keeping maintenance where …the wicked one does not touch…” you.

Internet Porn: Regaining Sexual Self Control

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Ephesians 5:18 says, “And do not be drunk with wine [porn], in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit…”

Several years ago, I was just starting my journey to the depths of sexual depravity. When computers came out, the Internet became the highway to information. But it also became the most powerful way to engage in sexual depravity under these conditions.

Anonymity

Accessibility

Affordability

When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, you do not want people to know what you are doing.

Especially your wife.

You do not want to be denied, so easy access is to your benefit.

You do not want to spend more than you could afford, BUT you will spend what you have and neglect any bills that have priority.

While on the job, on my personal laptop, I accessed sites anonymously, or so I thought.

I never used the company computer because it was against company policy for which you could be fired.

Why can’t we apply that policy from God on our personal TV’s and computers?

Just a thought.

But we all know that your identity is already known because every computer has a code that easily identifies you. So anonymity is out the window when you get on the Internet. For instance, when you visit certain sites and never make a purchase, today, when you surf the Internet, that site that you were on comes up without your help.

It’s so advanced that your iPhone knows what time of the day you go home and tells you, without you asking, how much time it would take to get home.

So forget about anonymity.

In fact, because I blog regularly about sexual immorality, salacious sites, texts, and emails are sent to lure me back into the dark world of pornography. At one time, because I talked so much about homosexuality, a site meant for another person was sent. It was a cruise ship proposal where homosexuals from all over the United States book a cruise to engage in lewd conduct.

Getting back to computers. While I was surfing the net for porn, site after site came up. It ganged up on me and overloaded my computer. Several times it froze to where I had to do a reset to get the laptop to work. When I went back on the site, it acted up again because it was big business. If they gained access to your credit card or debit card, the charges would clear out your account.

I had enough presence of mind not to give them access to my cards because it would be a money trail that destroys any sense of control.

The lure would be that they would show you enough free porn and if you want more, you had to use your card.

Also, a sudden fear came upon me that, if by accident, I clicked a site for child porn, it’s an instant invitation to the FBI. The last thing that I needed was for the FBI to come to my job and arrest me for child porn. It doesn’t matter if you click with intent or by accident. You will be arrested. So that’s when viewing porn on my laptop was a thing of the past.

Internet pornography is a trap for men that are not under control.

That’s why if you do not regain sexual self control, you will not stop.

Dr. Mark Laaser told a story in his book about a pastor doing armed robbery to pay for his porn and prostitution addiction.

If you do not control your sexual appetite, you will do things that will not make sense.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

When it comes to sexual immorality, you will not be under control.

You might think that you are controlling the circumstances but you are deceiving yourself.

There was a story in Dr. Patrick Carnes book about a man that went on the Internet to chat with an underaged girl. He contacted a friend on the Internet and they were chatting with the same “girl.” His friend decided to take things to the next step and made arrangements at a restaurant to meet with this girl. So this person that broke off the relationship decided to spy them out. As his friend got out of the car to meet this “girl,” police cars surrounded him and his friend was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex.

The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” with Chris Hansen, aired between 2004 and 2007, was an incredible show where men would solicit minors for sex. They would chat on line to set up the meet. Some predators would drive or ride their motorcycles for hours just to have sex with minors. As lawyers, doctors, mechanics, priests, and pastors from all walks of life, would come into a house, Chris Hansen would meet with them as the minor walked out.

As soon as they arrive at the house, hidden cameras were on and recording everything. A transcript would be made and Chris Hansen would read the predator’s real intent as the cameras would come out. These predators try to deny that they were after under aged girls and under aged homosexuals. After the conversation, the police would be waiting for them outside.

Pastor Roger Jamison of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY once told me that one person put it like this. Sexual sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”

Sadly, many men will not listen. Even sinners with a dark heart towards God have a conscience. They hear that they should not do what they intend to do but they suppress it for the pleasure.

“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the PRIDE OF LIFE.”

The pleasure causes a man to throw away wise counsel.

On that show, “To Catch A Predator,” a couple of men said that they heard something on the inside of them telling them not to go. A few persons told Chris Hansen that they watched the show before. Another predator was a repeat offender. Caught twice on the same show. This dude had already appeared before a judge for the same crime………………the week before showing up at this house.

There are many wives that are suspecting that something is going on.

That inward intuition is usually right. In most cases, she already knows. It’s just that she is processing the information because any act of betrayal is too hurtful for most women to confront. It’s when the full disclosure after discovery occurs that she is able to start the process of confrontation.

Most selfish men will apply blame on the wife and try to act more hurt than the wife.

Granted, both are in pain. The discovery was painful for the man because he was exposed and the betrayal was painful for the wife because she thought that her husband wasn’t keeping secrets.

How does a man bring himself under control?

1. Repentance.

Nothing will be right until he settles the debt with God.

2. Accountability.

No man can win the battle of sexual immorality without other eyes watching your life.

3. Catching Your Moments.

If you are not willing to submit to God every moment of your life, all it takes is one look, and you are back to square one.

4. Guard What You Are Feeding On.

“Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

If you are not willing to guard your heart and close the door, the thief will come with his best to bring you back into bondage.

5. Fill Your Heart With Good Things.

“Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:5

You must be willing to do what it takes to replace what you were feeding on to be filled with God and His Word.

Freedom is not free. Neither is self control. You have to pay a price for freedom. You have to fight until Jesus comes or until you breathe your last breath.

You might be saying that you are not a predator.

That’s debatable because if you haven’t stopped, you may be a predator to yourself.

Every line you say you wouldn’t cross is a line you intend to cross. It’s just a matter of time.

As time progresses, the devil hasn’t brought out his best for you just yet. There’s always that one hot looking male or female that he has in reserves just in case you stay longer than you supposed to. And when you break free, the devil has a long list of his best that he will bring to tempt you. He knows that you are not in control.

But you can out smart the devil by living as a dead man.

Romans 6:11-14 says,

“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

Yes, it takes time to get to this stage but the more you yield to God, the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” will govern you as you obey the Hoy Spirit and the Word of God according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Stop Playing With Yourself: Worshipping At The Altar Of Lust

Growing up as a kid, you hear things that made you think.

Statements like “go play with yourself” had that sexual overtone that everyone knew what it’s about. However, after a while, you find yourself doing masturbation more often than you realize. Until it becomes second nature. The muscle memory and the false pleasure of having sex with someone that isn’t there became more than just “playing with yourself.”

It turned from pleasure habit into a bondage that is no different than nicotine, cocaine, or alcohol dependency.

It’s addictive. Voyeurism, exhibitionism, and other obsessive forms of sexual immorality is not that far off. That’s because with self sexual foreplay, people that are not in control will engage anywhere.

The false pros of masturbation is no relationship with another person. No STDs. No pregnancies.

You schedule your day around it.

In 1 John 2:15-17, John, the beloved apostle of the Lamb said, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of the Father abides forever.”

Lust is the law in the flesh of fallen man (male and female).

The law of lust is what’s behind masturbation.

The law of sin and death (see Romans 8:1-2) demands that lust be fulfilled, but we all know that lust is never fulfilled. It remains dissatisfied forever. Anything that is not ordained by the Lord is of the devil. The devil’s desires will always remain insatiable. Hence, the fallen state of man, these desires, unless put to death, will remain insatiable.

The corruption of flesh demands satisfaction.

The flesh demands to recharge to re-satisfy itself.

In the normal concept of sex, the reset to do it all over again is to be tempered or self controlled.

Lust is never controlled. It must be put to death.

In the last 6 years, masturbation was the most difficult thing to break. After 33 years from 1975 to 2008, a week wouldn’t go by unless I engaged in masturbation. At first, it seemed normal and innocent. Afterwards, I was hooked and developed a list of reasons to keep doing what I wanted to do. Even after marriage, I found myself engaging.

Lust after women “enhanced” this pursuit of sexual satisfaction. But satisfaction was never achieved. Even with introducing pornography in 1998, the satisfaction was never achieved.

Little did I realized that not only was I breaking God’s command about the sanctity of marriage according to Genesis 2:24, far worse, I idolized my desire to have self or solo sex.

It became my god.

The Lord God said to Moses in Exodus 20:3-6,

“You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image —any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.

For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

To put it as bluntly as allowed, getting off was worshipped.

At this altar of sexual immorality, I paid homage to the god of lust. The second god or idol was my sexual organ. What kept me worshipping at this altar was the dopamine. The drug of fulfillment and satisfaction.

This infatuation of getting this drug in my blood stream had me coming back for more and more every time.

All it took to get me started was touching myself sexually. Or a combination of things. Lusting after the flesh. The sexual objectification of a woman’s anatomy. At the end of the day, there’s no question what was going to happen. From 2008 to 2011, the grace of God enabled me to completely abstain from masturbation.

It was a great 3.5 years of learning how to control myself.

Dr. Mark Lasser really taught the lesson on self control. He asked the greatest question I’ve ever heard.

Can you do without sex with your wife and masturbation?

The answer is yes.

Hence, the definition of addiction recovery.

“To control, manage, or stop using a particular substance, thing, or activity.”

There are many advocates that encourage masturbation as a healthy sexual practice. This would fall under the category of “control or manage.”

However, if it is being worshipped, it must stop because God has no rivals. If God is enthroned on your heart, there can be no other gods.

In reading many books that reason with making seemingly viable excuses to continue masturbation, many men will accept these arguments and stand their ground when they are challenged.

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”

So the end is always death. What kind of death? Death in your relationship with the Lord. Broken fellowship with God.

It seems right to justify sin but it always end in death. You are tempted, you fall into temptation, you yield to temptation. The desire has conceived (egg – sperm unites). Sin is birthed. Death is the result.

In Matthew 26:41, Jesus said, “Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”

Even with watching and praying, lust was lurking within me that I feared greatly.

The urge to touch myself sexually got stronger and stronger.

Mind you, I was praying. I had an accountability partner. I was teaching the men how to overcome.

Then the moment of truth came. After a setback at an event, discouragement zapped me so bad that I fell into the trap of touching myself sexually.

From 2011 to early spring of 2014, I found myself back into “playing with myself.”

To even try to deflect how I got back into masturbation or to attempt to minimize the fall is the worst thing in the world you could do. That’s because to falsely justify sexual immorality is a deception not worth going to hell over. Even to count how many times I masturbated to give a minimal number to minimize the blow is folly.

I also found out that you can’t preach effectively to sinners if you are in sin yourself. You are disqualified.

Since returning to the streets to preach, the reason that kept me from preaching in the streets was directly tied to sexual immorality running rampant in my life. There is no anointing in sin. God never anoints what He never appoints. Sin and holiness can never mingle. God’s temple cannot be full of idols. Jesus and satan can never have communion, fellowship, or unity. Darkness cannot co-mingle with light.

Ineffective living always leads to ineffective preaching. If you cannot live to obey the commands of Jesus, you can’t win a soul to Jesus. The crucified life demands denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following the Lord. Many desire to follow the Lord, but they never deny themselves (see Mark 8:34).

You deliberately cheat or defraud yourself from achieving a false pleasure to gain the highest pleasure.

Pleasing God.

You can’t talk about taking up your cross unless you deny yourself.

In other words, you stop playing with yourself.

Most ministers are ineffective because of the refusal to deny themselves.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”

Jesus said this in Matthew 5:28-30, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

This is not a stretch of revelation but you and I both know that the Lord covered masturbation because it takes an eye to lust and the hand to play. There is no question about it and to fool ourselves into thinking that the Lord wasn’t talking about self sex is foolishness and deliberate deception.

As Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free said, this is “radical amputation.”

If you refuse to cut off anything that is leading you to masturbate, notice what Jesus said….

“…for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

Will a person go to hell over masturbation?

Are you willing to let masturbation rule you like a god? And are you willing to risk it?

Remember what Revelation 21:8 says.

Remember also Hebrews 12:4.

“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”

And NO. I am not telling you that you need to butcher yourself to stop sinning.

What is it that you are willing to do to stop sinning?

How far will you go?

Are you willing to pull out the TV?

Are you willing to give up your mobile device you use to spy out flesh to masturbate off of?

Are you willing to give up your passcode to your computer to an accountability partner and or your wife?

Are you willing to get off of FB or all social media?

Are you willing to walk across the street when a hot looking woman is within your periphery?

Are you willing to look in another direction when she is trying to get your attention at the magazine stand?

Are you willing to change channels if you keep your TV?

Are you willing to get up out of bed, pray and seek God when you are sexually aroused at night?

Are you willing to call your accountability partner to get prayer in your hour of temptation?

Are you willing to pick up the phone when your accountability partner calls on you to check up on you?

Are you willing to stop being evasive when asked the tough questions?

 

So let’s sum this up.

1. Lust must be destroyed. In fact, lust was destroyed on the cross of Christ according to 1 John 3:8.

But is lust destroyed in you? Colossians 3:5 is the answer.

2. God has no rivals. Exodus 20-3-6.

3. Excuses seems right but frivolous justification always lead to death. Proverbs 14:12, James 1:14-15.

4. Watch and pray. Matthew 26:41.

5. Discipline yourself. 1 Corinthians 9:27.

 

The Power To Do Without Solo Sex

There are many males and females in the Body of Christ that cannot do without solo sex called masturbation.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

The reasons range from, “There is nothing in the Bible that says that I can’t masturbate,” “I’m on a long distance trip away from my wife, I got to “get off” before I go crazy.”  to “My spouse is sick and I need to let off a little sexual tension.” “To keep myself from fornicating, committing adultery, or get a girl pregnant, or get an STD, I masturbate.”

While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that says that we can’t masturbate, equally, there is no Scripture that says that you are permitted to engage.

A lot of people have accused proponents of no masturbation that we engage in extra Biblical standards. I call it “elasticity of the Scriptures.”

Meaning that we’ve stretched or added to the Bible to prohibit the practice of masturbation.

I’ve been accused of this as well as other men and women of God that broke free from masturbation.

The grace of God operates in us as we obey the Word of God to abstain from every appearance of evil.

Just as people will read what I’ve just said, they will say, where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil?

No where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil.

But we know that selfishness is evil. And masturbation is not about selflessness but it’s about selfishness.

If you cannot control yourself, then you are selfish. Right?

This question requires a Yes or NO.

Is masturbation about selflessness or selfishness?

Yes or No?

Then why did I say that it is evil?

Aren’t you “stretching” the Scriptures?

Genesis 2:24 says these words….“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

When it comes to solo sex, you are having sex with yourself. God created Eve for Adam. There is no where in the Bible where we see that Adam masturbated. If that were true, that Adam masturbated, then Eve, or the body of a woman wouldn’t be necessary.

Also, look at what the Lord said in Genesis 2:18.

“And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Solo sex is a sex act alone. You are fantasizing sex alone or by yourself. So because God said it is not good that man should be alone, it doesn’t take calculus to figure it out.

Masturbation would be necessary if God never intended to make Eve for Adam.

Since God made Eve for Adam, masturbation is not necessary.

Let me point something out.

Many masturbators will argue that there is nothing wrong with occasional masturbation, or experimental masturbation. Usually proponents of masturbation will defend rigorously the solo sex act.

Masturbators will create reasons to defend masturbation but the ultimate undeniable reason is……

Lust in the heart.

In reading several books on this subject, there are many men that use porn to increase the arousal to perform solo sex. As one man of God put it, “You do not need porn to masturbate, I got porn all in my head.” All you need are fantasy or thoughts, and urges and impulses to get you going. In one book called “Every Young Man’s Battle,” a young man said “I find it very difficult to masturbate without thinking lustfully.”

Then again, you may not have to have a beautiful woman in your mind to masturbate.

You could lust after you.

You could have an infatuation of your own genitals and the way you bring yourself to orgasm and or ejaculation.

Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword Of The Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY shared that masturbation is the stepping stone or “door to the beginning stages of homosexuality.”

As a man, you are doing you.

I know that MSM is a man having sex with another man but what is masturbation?

You having sex with you.

Therefore, masturbation is a selfish, obsessive fetish of your genitals.

Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:1, “…For men will be lovers of themselves.”

The word “themselves” means “fond of self.”

The Amplified says “self centered.”

That’s exactly what masturbation is.

Self centered.

Besides, it’s all about you “getting off.”

So if the Lord made a woman that you are to marry to have sex with, is there any justification for masturbation?

Listen to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 (AMP).

“But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire.]”

If masturbation were permitted, why didn’t Paul say, “But if they have not self control, they should masturbate. For it is better to masturbate than to be aflame…”

So the remedy of masturbation is to get married.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:2 “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

Sex is designed by God to be shared, not for selfish solo sex.

There will be disagreement, and that is unavoidable, but the disagreers have yet to provide one Scripture to justify their position to justify masturbation.

I, and many others have given Scripture to remedy the need for masturbation. Yet, we have yet to see proponents of masturbation to present Scriptural justification to masturbate.

For instance, we expect to see from the proponents of masturbation the following…..Masturbation is justified because the Bible said……

But we know that we won’t see that.

Instead, we get…..“The Bible said nothing about not masturbating.”

Just because the Bible is silent it isn’t permission.

If something like sex was designed by God, then it will follow the Manufacturer’s Manual for use.

Jesus mentioned two things. Eye and hand.

Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

How many brothers and sisters in Christ will testify that they use their hands (female use of sex toys) to masturbate and they use their eyes to search for a sexual object to meditate on sexually?

Here, the Scriptures gives us the blueprint for sexual activity within the confines of the “one flesh” principle according to Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 7:9.

You can’t be one flesh by yourself. You need an opposite partner to become one flesh. Otherwise, you are in violation of what God originally intended in sex.

Again, if masturbation were justified by God, there would be no need for Eve.

Pretend sex would negate the necessity of a woman.

Therefore, when it comes to masturbation, “you are brought under its power.”

When you are brought under its power, it means that it has control over you. The way that the flesh is designed, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is “wired” for sex. He also said that “porn hijacks the brain.”

When you are brought under its power, at any moment, you can think about sex and the body of a man is engaged until sexual release takes place. A man that is under control will never give themselves over to his or her sexual urges and impulses. One of the fruit of the Spirit is “temperance” or “Self control.”

If you cannot stop, you are not under control.

In fact, even when you occasionally masturbate, you are not under control. Your lusts or animal impulses is managing the urges and impulses.

Complete control demands that you do not give yourself over to your urges and impulses.

The discussion of masturbation is still a taboo subject among men. One person in my secular employment said out of his mouth, “man does it all the time, it’s no secret.”

And he is right, Yet, to discuss it in the open is still a secret.

Why?

It is embarrassing. The conscience is still offended. Why is the conscience offended? It is a clear indication that you are doing something that the body is not designed to do as far as a solo act is concerned. Nonetheless, a man will engage in masturbation because he can’t control his urges and impulses the way Jesus did when He walked the earth. That’s why He gave us woman. We select a female to marry and we could have all the sex we want.

However, we have come to see that even while married, a married man is out of control. Having sex with his wife, still seems like it isn’t enough.

Why?

Proverbs 27:20 gives us the answer.

“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

The sexual process always begins with what’s in the heart of a man. Then he goes into search mode with his eyes. His body then makes provision to fulfill that lust in the heart, and sin, when it is finished, brings for death (see James 1:14-15). If you ever wonder why you have that “condemned” feeling after you’ve masturbated, it’s because you sinned against your body.

Look at what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

I trust that after reading this that you would seriously consider that God is looking to help you overcome solo sex.

If you are single or married, and you are struggling to stop masturbating, there is some help on this blog page. Sexual Addiction Recovery.

Usually when you are participating in the practice of Secret Sexual Sins and you fight to preserve something that you know is wrong, it is a clear indication that you are convicted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t argue to fight for it.

If you feel condemned and you want to argue about continuing to masturbate, I understand your position. Having been involved in masturbation for 33 years with relapse after breaking free and for 10 years of these 33 years involved with pornography, I too, argued until I came clean and asked the Lord to help me overcome masturbation.

There is help. You just got to be bold enough to break free and break loose from the arguments to continue to masturbate.