There is a series called Conquer Series that is out to help men get delivered from porn.
The enemy is in fear of any man breaking free of the strongest stronghold in human history.
Sexual addiction to himself.
“Lovers of themselves..without self control…pleasures rather than lovers of God” as Paul said in 2 Timothy 3.
As I have stated, no one watches porn and never act out sexually in masturbation, adultery, prostitutes, homosexuality, or bisexuality, or bestiality.
Porn is “just the fuel or accelerant” to add to the fire of lust.
It’s not the porn that is the culprit behind your entrapment.
It’s your lust and the means to fulfill that lust by acting out sexually in the world of sexual fantasy.
You have to die.
Paul said in Colossians 3:5 that we must “mortify” or put to death our members. It is the crucified with Christ life.
Jesus said that if we desire to follow Him, we must…
1. DENY OURSELF. (Deprive yourself of power to live in sin).
2. TAKE UP OUR CROSS. (Prepare to put yourself down like putting down an animal).
3. FOLLOW HIM. (All the way, or no way at all).
If you refuse to deny yourself, you will refuse to take up your cross to die upon it, and therefore, you are disqualified by default from follow Him.
The pandemic of porn is effecting men at a much higher rate than 68% because of men that will not admit to sexual addiction. Why? The pleasure for some men and women is too much for them to give up.
But nothing is outside of the power of God to deliver anyone from Secret Sexual Sins (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
One of the very things that men will be cast into the lake which burns with fire and brimstone for is “sexual immorality.” (see Revelation 21:8).
For so long you have thought that you wouldn’t be judged.
By God’s grace, you were given space to repent. The clock is ticking and God knows already what you have decided to do. Some of you, sadly, will not make it because your love for lust was greater than your love for God.
This is not hopelessness. Hopelessness is a selfish determination of a man or woman that refuses to escape a burning building when they had the chance. Do not yield to hopelessness. Yield to escape no matter what. Get to the place where you must do what you have to do to escape (see Hebrews 12:4).
No one is to blame but the man or woman that refuses to escape when he or she had the chance. The time for accepting responsibility and be accountable begins when you run out of the burning building, never to return.
Billions have missed the chance and are in hell awaiting the fate of fallen men.
It’s a fact.
Jesus said many will be on the road to destruction according to Matthew 7:13-14, but you do not have to be on that road. This will not be incentive enough for many men because of John 3:17-36. The love for sin and darkness outweighs the love for God and light.
But it doesn’t have to be this way for you.
It doesn’t have to end in the pit of fire for failure to kill lust in your heart, mind, and body.
One moment of sinful sexual pleasure is not worth an eternity in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone.
At this stage of the game, we need every person that has kept themselves from Secret Sexual Sins and those that “escaped the corruption of the world through lust” to rescue as many men and women as possible before it is too late.
Whether Jesus comes or your death, whichever comes first.
Do what you got to do to escape before it is too late, or you will be numbered with the transgressors.
The trailer of Conquer Series is one of many rescue tools used by the Holy Spirit to pull men and women from the flame. It can be observed here.
As 2015 comes to a close, many have put a close to this year and they are looking forward to 2016. The toughest resolution is the resolution to exercise. Many failures occur just after the first week, but without a doubt, there is a resolution much tougher than dieting and exercising.
Ending porn and masturbation in your life.
Will you put an end to porn and masturbation?
This is not high on the “to do” list of resolutions for 2016.
Women and men are struggling to climb out of the slimy pit of porn and masturbation.
They have made a decision to go cold turkey but all of a sudden, the urges and impulses return.
The eyes and hands travel.
Habits, cycles, and patterns return and it’s worse than before.
Galatians 5:22 talks about the fruit of the Spirit called “self control.”
The parable of the sower in Luke 8 reveals the place where many are when it comes to sexual immorality. When people make a clean break from porn and solo sex, the body is adjusting to sexual normalcy.
Dr. Mark Laaser calls is “sexual sobriety.”
Depending on how you desire to be free and remain free determines the outcome.
Many men and women receive the Word regarding sexual immorality freedom and then the tempter comes. Or, we open ourselves up to temptation by watching certain shows that has sexuality in it. Or our eyes travel to sexually look at another person.
Luke 8:13 “But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away.”
Notice “who believe for a while….”
The Greek gives the impression that it was a very short period of time. Most believers would hold out and that’s where the struggle begins. You renege on a promise to abstain and the enemy or even our own minds decide to meditate on what was left behind at the altar.
Our lusts of the flesh and mind.
In studying “Way To Purity” from Setting Captives Free from Mike Cleveland, the course shared several times about “radical amputation” from what Jesus shared in Matthew 5:29-30 that “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
And Hebrews 12:4 “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
How radical are you willing to go?
Sell your computer? Oh, but you have your iPhone or other small devices to view deliberately or by accidental glance at sexual objects intentionally attached to catch your eye.
How radical are you willing to go?
Throw away your cable or satellite subscription? Disconnect the TV. Discontinue going to the movies, purchasing DVD with sexual themes, avoid sports when the commercials of sexually provocative women are paraded before your eyes? Stop watching the News because you know, like on FOX News, they have women dressed for the club on their shows? Or certain talk shows where certain A movie stars will be on the show to look at?
How radical are you willing to go?
Paul shared about mortifying the deeds of the flesh in Colossians 3:5… “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
Are you willing to execute everything to please the Lord?
And James and Peter shared these powerful words.
James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
1 Peter 4:8-9b “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”
Make this your verse of Scripture to live by for 2016 and for the rest of your life, or until Jesus comes, which ever comes first.
1 John 5:18 “We know that whoever is born of God does not sin; but he who has been born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him.”
This is not impossible as it has much to do with your determination to live free of the flesh. The work on the cross of Jesus made this possible.
By the grace and help of the Helper, Comforter, Standby, and Counselor, and through strict obedience to the Word of God, you can turn this resolution into an everlasting promise keeping maintenance where “…the wicked one does not touch…” you.
Growing up as a kid, you hear things that made you think.
Statements like “go play with yourself” had that sexual overtone that everyone knew what it’s about. However, after a while, you find yourself doing masturbation more often than you realize. Until it becomes second nature. The muscle memory and the false pleasure of having sex with someone that isn’t there became more than just “playing with yourself.”
It turned from pleasure habit into a bondage that is no different than nicotine, cocaine, or alcohol dependency.
It’s addictive. Voyeurism, exhibitionism, and other obsessive forms of sexual immorality is not that far off. That’s because with self sexual foreplay, people that are not in control will engage anywhere.
The false pros of masturbation is no relationship with another person. No STDs. No pregnancies.
You schedule your day around it.
In 1 John 2:15-17, John, the beloved apostle of the Lamb said, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of the Father abides forever.”
Lust is the law in the flesh of fallen man (male and female).
The law of lust is what’s behind masturbation.
The law of sin and death (see Romans 8:1-2) demands that lust be fulfilled, but we all know that lust is never fulfilled. It remains dissatisfied forever. Anything that is not ordained by the Lord is of the devil. The devil’s desires will always remain insatiable. Hence, the fallen state of man, these desires, unless put to death, will remain insatiable.
The corruption of flesh demands satisfaction.
The flesh demands to recharge to re-satisfy itself.
In the normal concept of sex, the reset to do it all over again is to be tempered or self controlled.
Lust is never controlled. It must be put to death.
In the last 6 years, masturbation was the most difficult thing to break. After 33 years from 1975 to 2008, a week wouldn’t go by unless I engaged in masturbation. At first, it seemed normal and innocent. Afterwards, I was hooked and developed a list of reasons to keep doing what I wanted to do. Even after marriage, I found myself engaging.
Lust after women “enhanced” this pursuit of sexual satisfaction. But satisfaction was never achieved. Even with introducing pornography in 1998, the satisfaction was never achieved.
Little did I realized that not only was I breaking God’s command about the sanctity of marriage according to Genesis 2:24, far worse, I idolized my desire to have self or solo sex.
It became my god.
The Lord God said to Moses in Exodus 20:3-6,
“You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image —any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”
To put it as bluntly as allowed, getting off was worshipped.
At this altar of sexual immorality, I paid homage to the god of lust. The second god or idol was my sexual organ. What kept me worshipping at this altar was the dopamine. The drug of fulfillment and satisfaction.
This infatuation of getting this drug in my blood stream had me coming back for more and more every time.
All it took to get me started was touching myself sexually. Or a combination of things. Lusting after the flesh. The sexual objectification of a woman’s anatomy. At the end of the day, there’s no question what was going to happen. From 2008 to 2011, the grace of God enabled me to completely abstain from masturbation.
It was a great 3.5 years of learning how to control myself.
Dr. Mark Lasser really taught the lesson on self control. He asked the greatest question I’ve ever heard.
Can you do without sex with your wife and masturbation?
The answer is yes.
Hence, the definition of addiction recovery.
“To control, manage, or stop using a particular substance, thing, or activity.”
There are many advocates that encourage masturbation as a healthy sexual practice. This would fall under the category of “control or manage.”
However, if it is being worshipped, it must stop because God has no rivals. If God is enthroned on your heart, there can be no other gods.
In reading many books that reason with making seemingly viable excuses to continue masturbation, many men will accept these arguments and stand their ground when they are challenged.
Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”
James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
So the end is always death. What kind of death? Death in your relationship with the Lord. Broken fellowship with God.
It seems right to justify sin but it always end in death. You are tempted, you fall into temptation, you yield to temptation. The desire has conceived (egg – sperm unites). Sin is birthed. Death is the result.
In Matthew 26:41, Jesus said, “Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”
Even with watching and praying, lust was lurking within me that I feared greatly.
The urge to touch myself sexually got stronger and stronger.
Mind you, I was praying. I had an accountability partner. I was teaching the men how to overcome.
Then the moment of truth came. After a setback at an event, discouragement zapped me so bad that I fell into the trap of touching myself sexually.
From 2011 to early spring of 2014, I found myself back into “playing with myself.”
To even try to deflect how I got back into masturbation or to attempt to minimize the fall is the worst thing in the world you could do. That’s because to falsely justify sexual immorality is a deception not worth going to hell over. Even to count how many times I masturbated to give a minimal number to minimize the blow is folly.
I also found out that you can’t preach effectively to sinners if you are in sin yourself. You are disqualified.
Since returning to the streets to preach, the reason that kept me from preaching in the streets was directly tied to sexual immorality running rampant in my life. There is no anointing in sin. God never anoints what He never appoints. Sin and holiness can never mingle. God’s temple cannot be full of idols. Jesus and satan can never have communion, fellowship, or unity. Darkness cannot co-mingle with light.
Ineffective living always leads to ineffective preaching. If you cannot live to obey the commands of Jesus, you can’t win a soul to Jesus. The crucified life demands denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following the Lord. Many desire to follow the Lord, but they never deny themselves (see Mark 8:34).
You deliberately cheat or defraud yourself from achieving a false pleasure to gain the highest pleasure.
You can’t talk about taking up your cross unless you deny yourself.
In other words, you stop playing with yourself.
Most ministers are ineffective because of the refusal to deny themselves.
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
Jesus said this in Matthew 5:28-30, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
This is not a stretch of revelation but you and I both know that the Lord covered masturbation because it takes an eye to lust and the hand to play. There is no question about it and to fool ourselves into thinking that the Lord wasn’t talking about self sex is foolishness and deliberate deception.
As Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free said, this is “radical amputation.”
If you refuse to cut off anything that is leading you to masturbate, notice what Jesus said….
“…for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
Will a person go to hell over masturbation?
Are you willing to let masturbation rule you like a god? And are you willing to risk it?
Remember what Revelation 21:8 says.
Remember also Hebrews 12:4.
“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
And NO. I am not telling you that you need to butcher yourself to stop sinning.
What is it that you are willing to do to stop sinning?
How far will you go?
Are you willing to pull out the TV?
Are you willing to give up your mobile device you use to spy out flesh to masturbate off of?
Are you willing to give up your passcode to your computer to an accountability partner and or your wife?
Are you willing to get off of FB or all social media?
Are you willing to walk across the street when a hot looking woman is within your periphery?
Are you willing to look in another direction when she is trying to get your attention at the magazine stand?
Are you willing to change channels if you keep your TV?
Are you willing to get up out of bed, pray and seek God when you are sexually aroused at night?
Are you willing to call your accountability partner to get prayer in your hour of temptation?
Are you willing to pick up the phone when your accountability partner calls on you to check up on you?
Are you willing to stop being evasive when asked the tough questions?
So let’s sum this up.
1. Lust must be destroyed. In fact, lust was destroyed on the cross of Christ according to 1 John 3:8.
But is lust destroyed in you? Colossians 3:5 is the answer.
2. God has no rivals. Exodus 20-3-6.
3. Excuses seems right but frivolous justification always lead to death. Proverbs 14:12, James 1:14-15.
4. Watch and pray. Matthew 26:41.
5. Discipline yourself. 1 Corinthians 9:27.
Back in 2008, by the grace of God, the Word of the Lord came to me. The Holy Spirit spoke to me while in the middle of watching porn and masturbating these Words.
“Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”
It was then that I was done with porn.
I was going to make this short but that is not the case.
I searched for help on the Internet and came across many sites. Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY steered me to some sites where I could get additional help on porn addiction.
“The Pink Cross Foundation” headed by former porn star Shelley Lubben was not one of those sites, but I happened upon that site and it gave me additional information about what went on behind the set of porn shoots.
She testified before Congress and other places about her participation in the porn industry. She shared passionately about women being abused sexually and really laid it on the table what was done behind the scenes of pornography. It was clear in my mind that she struck a cord with many about the things done on the set.
As some of you know, women would travel miles to California to star in movies. When they do not make it, some of them resort to class B movies, porn, strip clubs, escort services, and prostitution to make money and some how get noticed. But to no avail, many of them get trapped in doing porn and never make it.
I understand that porn is a very dangerous, dirty place where drugs and alcohol would be available on the set to help the women cope with the rape and abuse that men and other women would do to unsuspecting aspiring actresses. Some of them never make it past the first day because the abuse would be devastating, and they would never return. To make things worse, there would always be the fear of contracting STDs, including HIV/AIDS. A few have even committed suicide because the shame, stigmatization, being diagnosed with STDs, loneliness, hopelessness, and other emotionally traumatic events would be too much for them to bear.
The Pink Cross Foundation is a site that attempts to reveal what really goes on in porn, however, as helpful as some of the information is, some of the pictures and stories are a bit over the top.
In other words, the pictures displayed on The Pink Cross Foundation are racy.
Even I had to refrain from looking at that site because it is sexually provocative and obviously explicit.
This is not to say that these stories are not true, or juiced up to gain more attention. It is to say that when a man goes to this, or similar sites, it’s almost like looking at porn all over again. Many will argue that it’s not the site that’s the problem. It’s the man with unbridled lust in his heart and mind.
That’s partly true and many will disagree, but the problem is twofold.
ONE: According to Dr. William Struthers “porn hijacks the brain.”
He shared that when a man looks at porn and masturbates, he is pretending to have sex with the person. While a man doesn’t need porn to masturbate, his mind goes through a ritual of search and discovery, meditation or fantasy, and then he engages. Sometimes one picture could set him into search mode and then he “locks in” on what he wants sexually, to act out sexually.
The photos on The Pink Cross Foundation could be one of these pictures that would set a man off sexually. Just like a supermarket magazine stand. A woman on a street corner, a movie with soft porn sex scenes, a man could be sexually influenced to pursue porn and masturbation.
Porn is the fuel or accelerant of the sexual immorality world. No man watches porn and doesn’t act out sexually in masturbation, adultery, fornication, bisexuality, or homosexuality.
The lust in a man’s heart is what must be addressed. It is addressed on the cross. Jesus died for our sins to set us free from sin but also to appease the wrath of God. The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all unrighteousness. Jesus paid that penalty because God pour upon Jesus, His wrath.
Therefore, because of Jesus, when we repent and turn from our wicked ways, we, by the help of the Holy Spirit are capable of walking in obedience to the Word of God to abstain from the very appearance of evil.
The power and guilt of sin was removed. In the presence of sin, we walk in obedience to His Word to never let sin have dominion over us. It’s a work of His grace not to continue in sin, but to live free of it.
It is true that man needs to be more disciplined to ignore what a woman is wearing, however, some women wear certain clothing to be sexually noticed. Sexually immoral women will make a calculated maneuver to attract male attention.
That one moment of flirt, to her, is her power over man.
I’ve said all this to agree with EX Ministries that “The Pink Cross Foundation’s intent, yet, as long as the gospel is absent, is undoubtedly involved in the transmission of sexually provocative material.
Please observe this YouTube for consideration.
TWO: When we were involved in porn, we men would sometimes read “Forum,” “Hustler,” “Playboy,” and other sexually explicit reading material. There would be racy stories that would get our “engines” running. There is some material that lead men back into the world of porn. For those of us that were delivered, we are on the lookout for anything that would tease us to go back and “investigate.”
Even on FB, there are female pictures that stimulates the minds of men to investigate.
The face, the hair, the clothing, the position, the smile.
Men are easily seduced. On FB or other social medias, all it takes is a captivating look and a man is easily swayed to look lustfully at a woman.
“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.” Proverbs 27:20
Any website that uncovers the underworld of porn that is absent of the gospel of Jesus Christ is just another substitute porn site.
It is a very strong statement but here is the reason.
“…the gospel of Christ…..is the power of God unto salvation….”
This is the cut up version of Romans 1:16.
Women that explain the dangers, perils, documented stories of the sufferings of women in porn are to be commended, however, when it fails to point people back to the cross of Christ, it is very troubling.
EX Ministries with G. Craige Lewis and Tetaun Moffett has done a remarkable job in pointing out the fact that the gospel of Jesus Christ is central to a man’s deliverance. And that this gospel is absent from The Pink Cross Foundation. I fully understand that the intent of The Pink Cross Foundation is to reveal the dark side of porn so that men and women that deliberately watch porn would be shocked to the degree that we would never watch another women get harmed. However, the gospel must be at the top of the list. Man is incapable of delivering man from sin. If we were capable, the death of Jesus wouldn’t have been necessary.
We all know that women are victims.
Then again, there are some that do not know.
We get it.
However, when we point to ourselves without pointing to Jesus, we make things complicated. Complicated?
We say that they are doing a good work of exposing the dark works, but do we do an equally good job at pointing to the Only One that can fully and completely deliver? The Scriptures tell us that “He saves to the uttermost.”
I also understand that it takes courage beyond courage to address sexual immorality, but we must point to the Savior to ensure that He gets the full credit and not make it about ourselves.
Years ago, I tried to do the same thing. I made “Come Clean” about ME and MY deliverance and it failed miserably. I was selfish!
I wanted disciples to follow me.
God has no rivals. He alone saves. He alone gets ALL the glory.
Yes, God uses us but we turn it all to God and keep none for ourselves.
God had to destroy the work of my hands so that the work of His hands would emerge. Anything that man does, apart from the Lord, is a work that must be destroyed because God is God, and no one shares His glory. He has no rivals. Every rival failed, and every rival must fail.
At the same time or more so, what must be paramount is a pointing back to the gospel as the “…power of God unto salvation.”
Without the power of God to save, deliver, and set free men and women that are held captive, we invite men to return to the vomit from whence they came.
Having said this, I would strongly urge a change in our approach to deal with porn.
1. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way to deal with sin.
While it is important to sound the alarm about women as victims, when the gospel is absent, deliverance must be absent. God’s terms isn’t negotiable.
2. Throw away the gimmicks of men.
Men are deliberately evasive.
Paul said, “And my speech and my preaching were without enticing words of men’s wisdom…” and “We have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully.”
The world and some church circles loves its gimmicks.
EX Ministries mentioned “Porn and Pancakes.” The subject of porn is a very avoidable subject when it comes to men. I know that men will not come to a meeting when it’s just about porn. Pancakes is a gimmick. But at the end of the day, will it be pancakes that deliver, or the power of the gospel as a person repents? While the Bible has a history of God using items to attract men, (burning bush – Jesus and divine healing, casting out devils, etc.), ultimately, we must understand that the Spirit of God always speaks before God uses an item to attract.
When Jesus preached His first major address, He didn’t have pancakes.
“But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
There were no pancakes served that day.
Jesus pointed out the origin of porn. Lust in a man’s heart.
But we do not need to use gimmicks to try to pull men to talk about this subject.
Just the gospel of Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 6:12-13 from the Amplified Bible says “Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.
Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but [is intended] for the Lord, and the Lord [is intended] for the body [to save, sanctify, and raise it again.]”
When it comes to chronic or excessive masturbation, in Dr. Patrick Carnes book on “In the Shadows of The Net,” “compulsive is a sign of addiction.” Compulsive is defined as “an almost irresistible urge.”
Paul explains with sarcastic terms that “all things are lawful or permissible,” or that “all things is allowable.”
When it comes to sexual urges, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book on “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is hot “wired for sex.” Dr. Struthers also says that “Porn hijacks the brain.”
The moment he thinks about it, he is sexually aroused. The moment something sexual enters his periphery, he is aroused. This puts that sexually aroused man in a state that he loses self control and acts out sexually in solo sex. Because that person he observed with lust has become a sexual object, the mind engages to find a way to have that person without touching them or engaging in the normal legal or Biblical process of developing a relationship towards marriage so that sex is legal.
Instead, he violates Matthew 5:27-30. He lusts after her in his heart to have her, but he somehow never goes through the Biblical process and engages his hands to manually stimulate himself to ejaculation.
The false intimacy world is the most difficult world to escape from because for most men, it gives him a false sense of security. In that he doesn’t impregnate the woman. He doesn’t acquire any STDs. And he doesn’t have to run the risk of being denied by her should the woman in the dating process never allow him first base.
First base these days is the bedroom.
With chronic or excessive masturbation, we see that a man must allow himself to be brought under “its power.”
The word “power” is defined as “authority.”
So even though a person will declare that masturbation is permissible on the grounds of no Biblical prohibition, you still have to give your body over to masturbation. You give masturbation permission. You turn over control to be enslaved by masturbation. You come under its authority to be mastered by masturbation. Paul said, “I will not be brought under its power.”
In other words, Paul exercises dominion over his body not to be a slave to sin.
“For sin shall not have dominion over you for you are not under the law but under grace.”
Grace doesn’t excuse you to commit sin. Grace instructs you to fight against sin to remain free of it.
After masturbation, it’s too late to put up a fight.
Many of you have gotten to the point where you just couldn’t control yourself and you “make provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and mind.” Then you say to yourself that you are going to stop but who is fooling who? Usually this is remorse speaking and not repentance.
The mind begins to reason with itself that masturbation is not a sin. Although there is no Scripture in the Bible that emphatically declare that masturbation is a sin, there is one hurdle that men is never able to clear. In fact, you probably read articles about masturbation and how many men justify it as a healthy normal practice to release sexual tension. The question is asked by the Holy Spirit “Then why do you feel condemned?”
Romans 8:1-2 says “There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus that walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”
The condemnation is a hurdle that is too high to clear.
Notice what John said in 1 John 3:20-22, “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”
Do you have confidence toward God after you masturbate? If you do have confidence after you’ve sinned, then 1 John 1:5-10 applies.
Genesis 4:6-7 says “So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
God required a lamb and Cain brought fruit. God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s. Cain had that “condemned” feeling when the Lord rejected his offering but notice the progression from anger, to countenance fallen, to not doing well, to sin lying at the door. But also notice that even though sin desires you, you still have the power to rule (have dominion or govern) over it.
It’s like Abel gets married and he pleased God. Cain masturbates and God is not pleased (using it as an analogy, not that it happened). But the Lord teaches Cain how to please God. Cain you are angry, your countenance has fallen, Cain. Cain, you are not doing well. Cain, sin desires to have you but you can rule over masturbation.
The condemnation always happen. What chronic masturbators have mastered is the ability to suppress this condemnation in preparation to continue in sin. As long as we suppress this condemnation, we seek to continue in sin.
Sometimes, hopelessness sets in and something has to die.
When Cain was too upset to deal with it God’s way, he deceived himself into thinking that he could kill Abel. Cain held Abel responsible for his rejection.
This is what sexual immorality sometimes does from time to time. Men look to blame others for their own personal sins but there is a way to get out of that. Accept responsibility and rule over it.
You can’t do it alone.
You need help.
Solo sex is always about the individual and will exclude everybody. So in the same manner, most men believe that they could fix the issue themselves. More often than not, you are going to lose because the underlying issues that men hide require a set of impartial eyes and truthfully blatant objectivity.
There is no other beginning place except to get with a brother that will help you see your way out of darkness.
James said to “Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.”
When God asked Cain where his brother was, Cain’s answer is the answer for all men caught in the web of masturbation.
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”
When it comes to breaking the power of masturbation, you need someone to keep you honest.
For in the world of Secret Sexual Sins, the secrecy is what keeps us bound all the time.
As long as a man keeps his sexual secrets, he will never be free. The moment he exposes the secret to an individual he could trust or confide in, he can begin the process of dismantling the reason to be a slave to masturbation.
Notice what the Amplified Versions says….”You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood.”
Many have said that masturbation is either the beginning stage of homosexuality. Others have said that it is a form of homosexuality.
Simply because you are doing you.
Solo sex is homosexuality.
There were many days during the 33 years of bondage to self gratification, commonly called masturbation that I yearned to be free but I never got to the point of shedding my own blood to stop this sin of self homosexuality. Even after I established a date to remind myself of freedom, it became a date of governing my flesh. Not out of fear of God to live holy, but self glorification that “I” beat this Goliath.
After accumulating vast knowledge on sexuality and what made me do what I do, I found out that I was doing this in my own strength to glorify me.
After a discouraging men’s meeting on Secret Sexual Sins in 2012, I went back to my old ways and habits of self gratification.
It wasn’t as intense as it was before but it was a departure from keeping my word with the Lord.
After assuming that my deliverance was not going to be “discovered” and brought to the forefront with engagements to share my new found freedom, it was easy to get back into the ritual of self sex. There was that moment where I thought that there would be hundreds of men trapped in Secret Sexual Sins that would come and be free.
Not to be the case.
Men are more entrenched in Secret Sexual Sins than ever before. It appears that it is escalating in unimaginable undocumented ways.
Regarding my relapse, I didn’t need porn because it is very easy to fantasize about having sex with your imaginary bombshell. Besides, while every man will cross a line they say they wouldn’t, going back to porn would only open up a can of snakes that no one is able to put back.
Suppressing the fact that porn and masturbation is called “idolatry,” both of the male anatomy and the female figure as the object, returning to masturbation was easily achieved.
Then you hear the voice of the Lord.
While hearing that word, you could feel the smile of approval from the devil while your flesh is satisfied.
You see, the flesh doesn’t care about being a hypocrite because it got what it wanted.
It’s like stealing drugs from a pharmacy. The adrenaline, testosterone, vasopressin, then the reward drug after ejaculation or climax……
Then the heart offends God. Conviction from the Holy Spirit within you sets in, and BAM!!!!!
While this drug could be acquired with normal sex with your wife, the act of pleasing yourself the way you want to be pleased transcends a normal sex life because you are in control of every moment until climax.
The power of God was never intended to provide a loop hole to sin at will.
Remorse or repentance?
Which way will you go?
You know if you go towards remorse, it’s only because you got caught in eternity past but manifested now.
Be done with it. Confess and forsake masturbation to regain your relationship with The Lord.
There are consequences that’s connected to every act of sin.
There are many men that do not believe that masturbation is a sin.
While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that condemns the act of masturbation, there is no specific Scripture to condone masturbation, barring conjured up inferences of Scripture.
Silence of Scripture is not to be perceived as permission.
Besides, if Jesus masturbated, then we can be like Him.
Get the point?
God never designed sex to be done as a solo act. Sex is to be a moment shared between two persons in holy matrimony. The “one flesh” principle as recorded in Genesis 2:24, gives man and woman the legal parameters for engaging in sex.
Masturbation circumvents relationship, marriage, and bonding with the opposite sex, as well as procreation. Just as sin separates you from God and joins you with the devil, masturbation also separates you from your wife. You might feel good for a moment because of the dopamine but it is short lived.
The conviction overwhelms you and you are back into the destructive cycle that only asks for more ways to be satisfied.
You find yourself no longer in control.
You find yourself back under the slave master of answering your urges and impulses instead of answering the call to prayer and the Word of God to fight against the flesh and mind.
Is it possible that the Lord wants us to shed our own blood? To pull our eyes out? Cut our hands off?
To do what ever it takes to stop sinning to ensure that we enter into eternal life maimed than to enter into hell whole?
I am not advocating the physical removal of organs, hands, feet, eyes, penis, whatever.
But I am advocating imposing stringent means and methods to prevent sin from reigning in our mortal bodies. No I haven’t shed blood but to what level of holiness are we willing to go to to be worthy of eternal life? If we try to do it for self glorification, we will never achieve what the Lord really wants.
A willing heart that loves Him more than we love our sin(s).
A mind that desires to be flooded with the light of His Word on a moment by moment basis.
A body that becomes a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is our reasonable service.
So how do we deal ruthlessly with masturbation?
1. You must “Submit yourself to God…..resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
Submitting to God requires abandoning all of the tricks of the trade and regurgitated justification arguments.
James 1:14-15 says “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
Within all of us are things in our flesh that is subjected to temptation. satan knows what we like to see and do in our flesh and minds.
How do we cut him off? How do we shut down ourselves to submit to God?
2. You must avail yourself to use “The weapons of our warfare [that} are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Bringing into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”
The high place must be removed. In the OT, most of the kings failed to remove the high place. All the other reforms took place, but they’ve always failed to remove the high place. This is indicative of a deliberate act to return after a season.
To cast down imaginations or reasonings, we must give up attachments of sentimental value. If you value masturbation, the fulfilling of the desires of the flesh and mind more than loving God, your treasure is where your heart is. When something is valued higher than God and His Word, it is a matter of time before what you value is eternally dethroned. Taking you with it………….to hell.
It’s not enough to cast down imaginations. The next step is to bring it into captivity EVERY THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ.
It’s when we do the Word that the effects of the stronghold wane. The more we yield to the Lord, the more we put distance to things that are still fresh in our flesh.
3. You must learn to lean on the Lord to escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
The way of escape is just as easy as the way into Secret Sexual Sins.
You must instantly obey. Choose to not instantly disobey. Every moment counts. God does send distractions. Will you obey the Lord when He sends the distraction? I find that when we deliberately get up from the bedroom, we easily shut off further escalating deeper into obeying the will of the mind and flesh.
Testosterone can be subdued. Go and work out. Clean the garage. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Go and pray. Read a non sexual book.
Anything to get your mind off of sex is a way of escape.
Finally, 4. You must be accountable to someone. James 5:16 says “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Confessing your faults is not easy. It takes courage to sit with someone you trust that will not condemn you but hold you accountable. We need feet to the fire at times to never allow sin to be safe. We need a safe, loving, but firm accountability place to submit to one another in a powerful environment to help us when weak moments come. Tears of sorrow leading to obedience is better that pride and arrogance that leads only into planning the next time to sin against the Lord.
Also, do not be quick to start teaching people early in your deliverance. This is where pride and arrogance will creep up and cause a false sense of security to invade your mind. You believe that you are invincible and then you begin thinking that you are an expert. You think that you are on top of the world. But that’s exactly where many, including myself, fell to the traps of darkness.
As Paul said, “Take heed, lest you fall.”
Every step of victory is not for the purpose of bolstering your position and the world’s greatest deliverance preacher or sexual discipline coach. Each step of victory is designed to keep you from death. Be mindful that as long you you humble yourself, stay in humility, episodes of humiliation will be avoided.
The door of the prison house of sexual immorality never closes behind you. Prevention from living like a slave is always before us. Being a slave of sin with the prison door wide open is the grace of God given to every believer to walk out. Never to return when we are finished with sin for good. The only time the prison door shuts is when we die in our sins according to Romans 6:23 and Revelation 21:8.
When we flat line, all bets are off.
It’s not worth it. Sin is never worth it.
Forget about glorifying yourself to be exalted because you did it yourself. Under your own power, you have to keep it up. Under God’s sustaining grace, you rely on the Lord to help you through to victory on a moment by moment basis, for His glory alone.
To be separated from Him is worse than anything else. We must never let the sensation of sexual pleasure drive up to the place where we will never enjoy eternity with the Lord
“I know Ephraim, and Israel is not hidden from Me; For now, O Ephraim, you commit harlotry; Israel is defiled.
“They do not direct their deeds toward turning to their God, for the spirit of harlotry is in their midst, and they do not know the Lord.
The pride of Israel testifies to his face; therefore Israel and Ephraim stumble in their iniquity; Judah also stumbles with them.
“With their flocks and herds they shall go to seek the Lord, but they will not find Him; He has withdrawn Himself from them.
Thankfully, I haven’t come across a church that has this name stated in the title of this blog, but in some places, it might as well be. The condition of some places in the corporate church is what it is. To be in denial is to look at God, spit in His face, and call it rain.
Thankfully, there are pastors that are making great strides in dealing head on with this issue of sexual immorality in the church. Over the years, there has been an effort to talk about the Goliath of our times but when you take a closer look, it seems that we haven’t gotten the message.
One of the things that I learned while taking the course on Way To Purity by Mike Cleveland’s “Setting Captives Free” is that we must be vigilant.
Paul said in Colossians 4:2, “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving,”
Peter said in 1 Peter 5:8-9a, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith.”
To be vigilant means to “keep awake…give strict attention to, be cautious, active to take heed lest through remission and indolence some destructive calamity suddenly overtake one.”
One of the things that we sometimes neglect to understand is that sin brings destructive calamity.
We don’t see it this way because the pleasures of sin or the pleasures of this life obscures the real intent of sin.
When it comes to sin, we reach a point of no return. Meaning that we cannot stop what comes out. Meaning that we are so far along in the process that to stop now, it would rob anyone of the euphoric reward.
Remember what James said in James 1:15, “Sin, when it is finished brings forth death.”
Paul said in Romans 6:23, “The wages of sin is death but the git of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
No matter which way you look at it, sin brings death. Death is the end result after a destructive calamity. But we do not see it this way because of this Scripture in Ecclesiastes 8:11 (NLT).
“When a crime is not punished quickly, people feel it is safe to do wrong.”
Sin is a crime against the righteous and holy God. When judgment doesn’t fall swiftly, we foolishly assume that it is safe to sin again and again.
However, we know that a crime against God was committed because the conviction of the Holy Spirit immediately reminds us of the wrong we’ve committed.
Jesus said in John 16:8 “And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:”
The word “convict” means to convince the world of sin.
Paul said Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.”
The opposite is true. There is condemnation for those that walk after the flesh and not after the Spirit.
Paul said that if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged so we wouldn’t be condemned with the world (see 1 Corinthians 11:30-32).
Then John said in 1 John 3:18-22, “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.
For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”
When we pay attention to the inner man being affected by the way we treat the Lord, when we become sensitive to the Holy Spirit, we will do everything possible to avoid feeling condemned. When we refuse to repent, we are deliberately suppressing the convicting power of the Holy Spirit to turn from sin.
One of the things that I’ve noticed is that when we stop talking about this area, we find ourselves indulging in it, bit by bit. That’s what the enemy is searching for. He is lurking to see who is not watching diligently. The devil is waiting for that one moment when you turn off or temporarily suspend watching.
Just because we rest, it doesn’t mean we turn away from God. When we take a rest from God and His Word, we make the mistake of resting from the work of the ministry and include resting from obedience to God and His Word.
One of the things that I’ve learned when I stood watch in the Navy on board ship is that at anytime the enemy can come. They “case the joint” to see how you are watching. They are looking at your habits, patterns, and cycles of watch standing.
Over the course of time, the enemy already knows your preferential sins. He sets you up with a series of small tests to see if the last level of diligence is the same. When you are regularly watching, it gives the enemy no place. It’s the moment that we stop watching that he detects an opening.
Inconsistency is what he is counting on. That one moment when you sneak a peak at a woman’s breasts and behind. Checking her out and lusting after her beauty. That momentary lapse of judgment is the door he’s been waiting to walk through. For women, it is no different. When you are checking him out sexually, you are doing the same thing. When you dress provocatively, you are opening yourself up for sins of the flesh.
Seductive dressing is a fatal attraction for men and dressing that way is an open invitation by you for him to lust after you. What you are doing is part of the spirit of harlotry in the Christian church. Passive hunting is part of the feminine power executed by sexually immoral women to exercise sexual power over weak willed men. To be in denial about this is a curse of epic proportions.
Before you know it, you are back to your old tricks and habits. Porn becomes easy to watch again because you’ve had enough of substitute porn on the magazine stands. You’re back to releasing sexual tension through masturbation or committing adultery, or soliciting prostitutes. It turns into a large scale conflict where the Spirit lusts against the flesh and the flesh wars against the Spirit.
Returning to sin deliberately is an indefensible position allowed by a willingness to compromise the Word of God.
You search for younger and younger flesh. You even consider homosexuality to satisfy a seemingly insatiable desire to fulfill the lusts of your flesh.
It turns into suppressing conviction because of losing the small, low intensity battles of compromise that easily flares up into a major theater of operations. The objective of darkness is to reestablish a better, defensible evil stronghold.
As soon as it is reestablished, the enemy raises his flag over the newly established stronghold and calls it “The Spirit Of Harlotry Temple Of Worship.”
Is there any hope of a return to righteousness? Is there any chance of returning to the Lord and remain faithful to Him forever? Can we see that sin hurts the heart of the Father? Is there any way that we can recover from the snare of the enemy?
The answer to this question is always “Yes!!!”
We must change the way we do business.
We must recognize that we are weak and powerless without Jesus and His Word. We cannot survive, let alone overcome when we open ourselves up to the small little foxes that spoil the vine.
Diligence can return when we repent and seek the Lord diligently. Yes, we can overcome and triumph when we make a stand no matter how deep in the pit of sin we are.
If sin is like dog’s vomit, would we eat it or pass up this nasty meal? If sin is like a nuclear fallout zone, would we breathe its deadly air? If sin is like sewage, would we swim in it?
Let our houses of worship be a righteous temple of the Lord. Let our physical bodies be the temple of the Holy Spirit, bought and washed by the blood of the Lamb. Sanctified, tried and true for the eternal habitation of God through the Spirit.
Photo above is courtesy of Rhett A. Butler, copyright 1994-2006. (It is not to be connected or assumed in any way that the image above is actually the Spirit of Harlotry Temple of Worship, neither is it to be assumed that the image above is a place of Christian worship).
Oh, heaven NO!!!!
No relapse on my part. Not on your life because we are getting too close to the finale. I know that’s it’s been a while since my last blog. However, this is not a report of me backsliding kind of blog.
The trumpet will sound and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we that are alive and remain will be caught up together in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
To stay holy is my one goal. I do not plan to be fulfilling the lust of the flesh and satisfying myself when Jesus comes.
Some of you may recall the 10 virgins. Five were wise. Five were foolish. When the bridegroom came, it was time for them to go to the wedding. The five wise had enough oil for the journey in the night and the five foolish did not. The five foolish asked the five wise to spare what they had, and the wise ones declined.
The five wise told them to go and buy for themselves. So they went out to buy oil for themselves, and they found some, but by the time they got to the door, it was shut.
They knocked on the door and the bridegroom did not let them in.
It was too late.
There are many incentives to take advantage of to quit sexual immorality, however, very few will incorporate such incentives.
The pleasures of self gratification can be overwhelming because of the rewards it offers. However, the reward of heaven with Christ outweighs the pleasures of self gratification. There comes a point in your walk with the Lord where masturbation is something you do not need.
Dr. Mark Laaser, who wrote a book on Healing The Wounds Of Sexual Addiction, did a course and placed a powerful lesson on Sexual Addiction on CD. He asked a question, “Can you do without masturbation and sex with your wife?” That’s radical. Because he continued and said, “If you can’t, you do not have full control and you cannot manage your sex life.”
The release of sexual tension is powerful. However, there comes a point where these pleasure of life must come to an end one way or another. Either through self discipline or when the catching away of the people of God takes place. Even after that, people will still engage in some form of releasing sexual tension. Even then, it’s just a matter of time before it all comes to an end.
NO MORE SEX!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!
For many people, a sense of hopelessness and shame clouds the mind. Hopelessness is the fog of war in the mind and flesh.
As long as this feeling of hopelessness lingers in the mind, the attempt to break free is the light at the end of the tunnel that is seemingly a fleeting thing. Many men and women have dashed their hopes because the urges and impulses dictates their every move.
In my studies about sexuality, I learned that many people plan their day around sex. It usually is at the expense of a marriage, their job, and ultimately, their relationship with the Lord. It was true for me too. The obsession, infatuation, day dreaming, open minded thoughts of reading a newspaper, magazine, women watching, and porn. My whole day was planned around an orgasm.
All these things and the true worship of God takes a back seat. In most cases, a relationship with God in hypocrisy is better than no relationship at all. As ridiculous as this sounds, this is where many of God’s people are. I can identify with this because when you refuse to equate the sin of self gratification as part of the religious ritual of false penance, it is easy to think that you are just as close to God as if you never sinned.
Like John, the apostle of the Lamb said, “If we say we have fellowship with Him and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.”
I know you are not going to let me off the hook about calling masturbation a sin because there is no specific chapter and verse that declares that masturbation is a sin. However, where the Bible is silent, it is never to be assumed that it is safe to commit an act. Besides, not many people will agree that since Jesus didn’t do it, neither should I.
This stops all of the pretense.
I mean, we are to be like Christ in every way? Right?
If this is so according to, Romans 8:29, and if we are to prove that good, acceptable, and perfect will of God, to yield our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is our reasonable service according to Romans 12:1, then we should be able, at least consider the fact that the Lord desires for sin to not have dominion over us according to Romans 6:12.
The majority of the time, we are always looking for a reason to “continue in sin that grace may abound” according to Romans 6:1. When we get to the place where we desire to please the Lord, we find ourselves looking for reasons to continue in righteousness so that grace may abound. We look to cut our hands and our eyes, we look to strive against sin even to the shedding of our own blood to stop sin.
No, put the Rambo knife down.
Jesus and the writer of Hebrews spoke of entering a place of radical cutting off of the instruments and members so that we would stop sinning.
Paul said, by the Spirit of God, “The body is not made for sexual immorality.”
The physical body was made to be indwelled by the Lord. The Lord desired to inhabit man and the body is not for fornication (pornea).
As long as we make provision to fulfill the desires of the flesh and mind, we will never break its cycle.
Millions of men and women throughout the world masturbate every day. For reasons that range from sexual perversion to fulfill lust, to releasing sexual tension is a major problem. It seems like marriage, which is the answer to stop masturbation is no longer the answer that man wants to accept. Additionally, self control, a fruit of the Spirit according to Galatians 5:22, is cast to the side.
The parable of the sower is the most powerful parable that Jesus ever spoke. In that parable is the answer to handle the problems we face in life. It also serves as the gauge or measuring tool to locate where you are in your relationship with the Lord. Producing fruit is the thing that most concerns the Father. Galatians 5:22. John 15:1-5 confirms this and Jesus further confirms this when He said that we are known by our fruit.
Man will stand in four places. Good ground, wayside, stoney ground, and thorny ground.
The last ground, thorny ground speaks of people that are trapped in cares, riches, and pleasures of life.
The pleasures of this life come with a price. If we are unable to cast aside the pleasures of this life, we may never be free. But thank God your failure is not final. While there is still time, you can enjoy freedom in Christ from the powerful urge to masturbate. You can return to experience a healthy sexual life with your wife or husband if you are married.
Most importantly, you can be restored in your relationship with the Lord in righteousness and true holiness, laying aside every weight and the sin that does so easily beset you, to lay aside every filthiness and overflow of wickedness, to cleanse ourselves from the filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
Hopelessness is coming to an end for you. New life in Christ is at hand for you.
Proverbs 8:13 says, “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.”
Pride and arrogance is always at the root of a fallen leader. In most cases, a sense of invincibility comes into the mind of a man and you begin to have a false sense of security. Security in the sense that you believe nothing is going to happen to you, or that you would not get caught.
There was once a king in Africa that was married. He had sex with a prostitute that was HIV/AIDS positive. While there is no such thing as unprotected sex because you either have sex or you don’t. Any way my point is that he wore no condom. Even condoms fail but the failure is not the point. Where your hands travel and where your penis goes, penetration is not necessary for infection.
That’s my point.
However, this king decided to have sex without a condom. A few years ago, on the continent of Africa, many people were ignorant of the transmission of diseases (STD). So, they would engage in sex and today, the pandemic of AIDS is an international crisis. This king of a nation thought that by taking a shower and washing his genitals, he would not get infected.
Pride and arrogance, when not removed by humility and wisdom is part of a male’s inability to guard against urges and impulses, which, in turn, dictates choices. When you got your flesh and mind set to engage in sex with a person, wisdom is thrown to the wind.
Psalm 107:17 says “Fools! Because of their transgressions and because of their iniquities are afflicted.”
The word “fools” means “to be perverse,” and it also means “one who despises wisdom.”
When it comes to sex, males will bypass every alarm just to engage in sex. When pride and arrogance kicks in, there is nothing that may stop him except if something happens by way of divine intervention.
Asa, king of Israel comes to mind when it comes to pride and arrogance.
However, let me share this. No matter the denomination or non denomination, when a leader becomes full of himself or herself, it is very easy to make a series of decisions that lacks basic judgment. When you see that a leader fails to operate in good judgment, it is a matter of time before they will make the ultimate decision that will cost him or her the pulpit.
We leaders sometimes forget that we operate under delegated authority. Leaders are not absolute authority. The measure or rule of authority is defined by the boundaries of the Word of God. To exceed the boundaries established by the Lord in His Word is extremely costly, and deadly.
Asa became king over Judah and Benjamin. In the 14th chapter of 2 Chronicles, Asa made a series of reformations that virtually destroyed idol worship and sexual immorality in the region. However, Asa left one thing undone. The high place remained. Anytime you leave something undone, it is indicative of not fully walking in obedience to the known will of God. If you are going to clear the deck, make every effort to clear the deck. Otherwise, it will come back at you in a very bad way.
Asa was tested. The Army of Asa was only 580,000 men. Then the Ethiopians came against Asa. 1 million men and 300 hundred chariots. Asa cried to the Lord and Judah prevailed. The Spirit of the Lord came upon Azariah the son of Oded and gave Asa the Word of the Lord (see 2 Chronicles 15). When you get to the 16th chapter, that’s when Asa lost it. He made a treaty with Syria to prevent Israel from from boxing in Judah. Israel was defeated by the Syrians but the Lord rebuked Asa for trusting in his own wisdom to get out of a situation.
The prophet Hanani gave Asa these words from the Lord.
“And at that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah, and said to him: Because you have relied on the king of Syria, and have not relied on the Lord your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand. Were the Ethiopians and the Lubim not a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet, because you relied on the Lord, He delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars.”
Asa was so furious and so full of himself that he put the prophet in jail.
Note also that the prophet said that “In this you have done foolishly…”
Do you recall Psalm 107:17?
The opposite of foolishness is wisdom.
Asa failed to call upon the Lord and called upon Syria. In the same manner, the deliverance would have been assured. God came through against 1 million men and 300 hundred chariots. To come against the Syrians would have been the same results. The end for Asa was tragic. Asa was diseased in his feet. To me, that signified Asa will walk the earth no more. Asa sought relief from the doctors and never thought to look to the Lord, first to repent, and second to get healed. Mind you that at any time, Asa could have repented and cried to the Lord to be healed, but pride and arrogance led him to his grave.
Asa sought his own means and look where it led him.
To his grave.
So it is with Secret Sexual Sins.
There are four things that is associated with pride and arrogance.
1. Elitism. 2. Empowerment. 3. Entitlement. 4. Expediency.
When you believe that you are elite, you will feel empowered to do anything. When you believe within yourself that you are empowered, you will deceive yourself into thinking that you are entitled to any man or woman to have them sexually. When you believe you are entitled, because of a lack of wisdom, you will do anything, including break the Word of God and the laws of man to achieve your prize of orgasm, hence expediency.
Sadly, many men (including myself) have fallen for this. In various ways, we have sinned before God because we thought that we were invincible. That nothing would happen. That we would get away with it.
There are no winners with pride and arrogance. The devil is the biggest loser of them all. Sadly, many men and women that were to be of God will lose with the devil. It doesn’t have to be this way.
“Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God…”
The pulpit is the second most powerful place in the world. The place of personal prayer in the life of leaders and believers is the first most powerful place on earth. The grace of God is there that permits us to speak the Word of God. The oracles and ability comes from the Father. We somehow, deceived ourselves into thinking that it’s all about us and the next thing that happens is a series of deliberate decisions to satisfy ourselves sexually.
The only way out of this is humility.
I’ll leave you with this.
Humbleness of mind and humility, once acted upon, will prevent humiliation.
The aftermath of the former leaders of P4CM is disturbing but somewhat expected. As with all leaders that sinned, the killing field is filled with leaders that fail to take heed. We are all good at killing Goliath, but we are not that good at killing our inner Goliath.
Secret Sexual Sins.
Leaders are more susceptible to fall and relapse into Secret Sexual Sins because leaders live in the place of hiding behind their persona.
The anointing doesn’t cover a leader. The anointing is to break or destroy the yoke (see Isaiah 10:27; Luke 4:18, Acts 10:38).
Hence, the anointing eventually exposes a leader.
The mercy of God prevents what a leader rightfully deserve. Somewhere and somebody in heaven and or earth were praying for the mercy of God to cover them until they repent.
Accordingly, they have been restored, but just after 6 months?
Do not get me wrong.
Everyone of us doesn’t deserve a chance to be in the kingdom, let alone to be His minister. Though David was still king after Nathan exposed him, for the rest of David’s life, he was chased by his sons. He never finished well. The second king of Israel was finished because the secret sins in his heart, his real Goliath, was never defeated.
With returning to some measure of leadership and ministry, 6 months might be too fast if they are a little immature. Especially for young preachers. I do not believe that young preachers need to be imprisoned and exiled. It’s a judgment call of those to whom they’ve submitted themselves to.
In my experience as a pastor, I took a look back at what I was preaching while I was watching porn and masturbating. I observed an individual that didn’t know God. Never mind the message I was preaching at the time. It meant nothing to me because my only concern was to get church over with so that I can resume my sinful pastime. In looking back, I should have been fired. I violated the sacred duties of a man of God.
However, I wasn’t exposed but I knew that I was about to. I came clean about my life and exposed myself so that the Lord would have no story to tell. I never committed adultery except with my eyes and my heart in just level one sexual addiction. I should have taken time off to get myself together, however I didn’t. I kept on preaching.
You are saying that what I am saying is hypocritical, and I can’t agree with you more.
I don’t know if I ever would have returned to the pulpit had I relinquished the pastorate. I probably would have abdicated and never returned, but I am still doing what I am doing, but in a deliberate diminished capacity. No man that has ever sinned before God in a blatant manner ever return to any measure of grace and power. God never rewards unfaithfulness. It would be considered an endorsement and a deliberate slap in His face of loving grace.
At first, I looked to make a name for myself when I came clean but the Lord wasn’t pleased at all. Anytime you try to turn something into a personal profit, you are still in the hunt in another way. My book royalties along the lines of Secret Sexual Sins go right to the account of the local church until my passing should Jesus tarry. I do not do Come Clean Conferences. On a limited basis, I only had three conferences and that’s all. I do not anticipate having any more.
This blog is my outlet along these lines. Hoping that somewhere along the line, some sex crazed pastor would get it.
I read the P4CM (Passion For Christ Ministries) statement about the two pastors, really young pastors, that fell into Secret Sexual Sins.
While reading this statement, I can’t help but see that it was mixed in to the other “happenings” of their ministry. It wasn’t the headline but it also underscores the way we do things in the church. While this was serious, it deserves the attention of seriousness. When you read the rest of the statement, the aftermath underscores the powerful demonic pull that immoral sex has on the people in the church.
We treat the Lord and sanctification as an elective.
When we feel like it, we will be sanctified. The heart and mind of Samson is evident in the church. We’ve cast aside our consecration and the locks of our head were snipped off a long time ago. Tied between the posts, dare we ask God for just one more anointing? Just one more move of God?
It is not known whether these two were involved in a homosexual relationship or engaged in separate incidences, nonetheless, they fell and the fall out was tremendous and anticipated.
Here is the link to the aftermath of their stories.
When you read the aftermath, it does us no good to rehearse or to rehash the incident.
What we do need to understand is that the aftermath generally pans out to be the same because the demonic objective is the same.
To destroy the viability of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As I have always stated by the Spirit of God, “Just because people fail the standard, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the standard, in and of itself has failed.”
What happens in the open is because of what happens in secret.
As long as what is done in the dark remains in the dark, we can outwardly look holy, but inside, we are no different than an open tomb or sepulcher with dead men’s bones. It’s very hypocritical and the license to say that we are no different than them is issued without rebuttal.
That’s why they can blatantly and boldly develop churches for LGBT and dare us to blink if we hypocritically object.
Because in what is supposed to be the real Christ like church wherein righteousness dwells, they know that inside these churches are bona fide hypocrites. Now all churches are not like this but I know that some of you know that you can name a few churches and people that worship like saints and live like sinners, masquerading as false bearers of righteousness.
We have homosexual musicians, promiscuous preachers, and male and female temple prostitutes all up in the church.
Several years ago, another pastor fell into Secret Sexual Sins and committed adultery. A person was told that after it is all said and done, the church will see a decline in membership. It’s a common occurrence. Such was the case with P4CM. Fortunately, all was not loss. The remaining leaders exercised some measure of good judgment and wisdom, and merged with another local church. Sadly, others walked away from the church, but hopefully they didn’t walk away from Christ.
As is the case with some that do not understand that it’s all about maintaining your relationship with Christ, many of God’s people in the church I mentioned were so shell shocked that they wonder from place to place, or they do not attend church any more.
The failure of leaders to take heed, lest they fall sometimes fall on deaf ears. Many maintain their marriages because “pastor” maintains his, but as soon as the pastor makes a break for it, every man that doesn’t have his hope built on nothing less than Jesus blood, and righteousness, they walk away from their wives too.
That’s because of the two most destructive sex activities in the hearts and lives of men.
Porn and masturbation.
Again, this is not true of every pastor, however, a great number of pastors will have some involvement in porn and masturbation.
Sadly, too many young preachers watch their pastor too closely.
When you fail to take heed to your life and what is actually going on in your life, you begin to accept things that should have been rejected. Many preachers do not take heed to where their eyes travel and what their mind thinks during the course of the day. Then there is the accountability landscape that is a very difficult place to navigate. It’s when the help you need turns into a problem of manipulation and coercion. We are our brother’s keeper but we are not our brother’s Lord. The one thing that a brother needs is to be watched, but a brother also needs the compassionate confrontation that ministers grace and the Word unapologetically.
Psalm 119:9-10 says,
“How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wonder from Your commandments.”
Taking heed is not a Sunday morning service thing. Sunday is too late when you should have been taking heed during the week during weak moments. The dangers of falling into temptation are all around us and when we allow one sneak peak. One lapse of judgment in the smallest way, we open up a can of worms that can’t be returned.
Relapse happens in a small way and turns into a big mess.
Taking heed requires help. There are things that you cannot see that others readily see. Taking heed requires that you open up your life in measurable transparency. Taking heed requires that you have the ability to call someone when you need to. The minefield (mind field) of sexual immorality is not a small patch of ground. The field is too big and there are many trip wires along the way. The killing field is so vast and wide open that the fiery dart of the wicked one can pick you off easy.
The sniper’s nest is every where. If you are not taking heed to the Internet, the newspaper, the movies, anything can come at you and plant a thought in your mind. Before you know it, you are making preparation to sin. The very thing that you said you wouldn’t think of or do, you do it.
Taking heed requires not just deep prayer, but a deep Word to never violate your vow to keep yourself from sexual immorality.
Taking heed is work. Hard work. If you do not take heed, the devil will take advantage of your lack of vigilance and pick you off.
In the words of James Penn……“Is it worth it?”