You can walk out of that prison door and drop those loosed chains any time you are ready, pastor.
Jesus said, “He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”
There are many pastors, ministers, music ministers, and musicians that are needlessly and unnecessarily caught in the world of porn. Some of them are on the verge of going deeper into acting out their sex fantasies. When I mean going deeper, there are levels and lines to cross. For the world of fantasy is not enough. There comes a point when a person desires to be what they see. The devil will accommodate.
You do not have to take things to the next level.
A man decided he wanted to take things to the next level after being bored with the world of fantasy sex. He called an underage teen for a meeting to have sex. She told him where to meet. At a diner. A friend called and told him about meeting an underage teen for sex in the same diner. So he said to himself that he wanted to sit in his car and watch his friend meet up with this girl. His friend came and the girl came to the vehicle. As soon as words and money were exchanged, the police lights flashed and cop cars surrounded his friend’s vehicle.
The man that observed this realized that it could have been him. He drove off very slowly as his friend was apprehended for soliciting a minor.
The Lord understands what you need and He will deliver, you just need to give Him a chance.
After watching a former homosexual tell her story, she ended the testimony by saying, “I gave drugs a chance, I gave alcohol a chance, I gave sex a chance. When will we give Jesus a chance?”
After sharing the Word of God at Prevailing Word Ministries, the Lord showed me something that He was doing in me. Many of us want that explosive deliverance. Others are in search for a quiet deliverance where no one knows what happened in our past. Regardless of the kind of end result we are seeking, the Lord said this to me.
“When you called for deliverance, I delivered you and when the temptation came, I was there. Except that when you called, it felt like no one was there.” I almost said, “WHY!!!” Then the Lord said, “I was waiting for your obedience.”
The silence hurt but the Lord was teaching me that my obedience must be for real and not a game. That once I felt that I have His approval, He would say yes. But He knows me.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
Yes, even for a preacher that knows the Word of God, the mind can easily suppress the Word to engage in sin. Yes, the mind can still operate as an unregenerate, un-renewed mind. Yes, the heart can still be deceitful and desperately wicked. And, no, we do not have two natures. The Holy Spirit, by way of the new birth, delivered us from the old demonic nature. The mind still need to be renewed and the body, our mortal or death doomed flesh still need to be disciplined.
Just read 1 John chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4.
When you make the initial decision to walk away from pornography, the grace of God to do so is there. However, the Lord knows when you are serious.
For instance, when I had finished viewing porn and masturbated, I felt the remorse set in that I’ve have sinned against God but I wasn’t really serious about repentance. For some of us, and I’m speaking for myself out of experience, I would resume the same night to watch and masturbate over and over again.
I wasn’t serious about repentance from sin.
I quickly “recovered” and started the lust process all over again.
You see, it’s always the same. We get to a point where the remorse overwhelms us and then we recover after the guilt. We quickly suppress the conviction of the Holy Spirit and we suppress the Word of God to engage in more false satisfaction.
This is what keeps us in the game of false intimacy.
Once a person get to a place where they want out of this vicious cycles, patterns, and habits, it will take a while to retrain the mind, thoughts, hand and sexual organs to discipline ourselves to recover to live God ordained, naturally healthy sex lives.
Do not misunderstand me. The moment you make a quality irreversible decision to lean on the grace of God to break habits, patterns, and cycles, the Lord will work with you to get you into walking, long term, in the sexual discipline of Jesus. With married men, it is different because Jesus was never married. However, the discipline is the same. After sex we just wait to have sex with our wives.
Proverbs 5:15-19 says,
Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
Sexually active singles will have a tough go at it because they have to endure no sex until they are married. Which is all the more reason to “find a wife.” As a single man, with more choices than to shake a stick at, all you have to do is re-establish holiness in the fear of God, walk in the Word of God, abstain from all forms of evil and commit to no sex until you are married.
For husbands, it’s more of a challenge because the images embedded in the mind obscures the beauty that a wife has. Porn has a way of deceiving you into thinking that your wife is not as perfect in bed or in looks. The mind has to be renewed to understand that beauty is a fleeting thing.
Therefore, you need to “cut off” certain things that impede your mind from thinking straight.
You have to be willing to turn off the television, ipad, iphone and other devices that give you access to viewing things that should not be viewed. You will have to avoid newspapers, magazines, books, and other material that definitely possess sexually explicit material. This includes the supermarket magazine stands and counters.
As Dr. Mark Laaser notes, you have to regain “sexual sobriety.“
It is difficult these days because of what is out there as far as scantily clad women and women wearing exercise clothing. However, the more you desire to please the Lord, obey His Word, and make a covenant with your eyes, sexual sobriety is achievable in a sexualized world.
To break free and to remain free is all about the decisions you make. It’s about obedience to the Word of God in not so convenient moments.
So here is what you need to do.
1. Cut Off Things That You Know That Will Drive You To Self Sex.
It is always the objectification of women that is trained in the mind of a man. The majority of commercials cannot sell items on straight themed commercials. So a pretty face and a body to go with it will sell the item, but behind all this is the spirit of lust. Because you know that you do not have the money to buy that item, so the devil leaves something for you to remember. A hot woman.
It’s the same with newscasters. Women doing weather as they strut themselves with feminine power. The movie theaters where the trailer shows their power and captures the unsuspecting male in a moment of heated passion. TV shows and DVD’s. No matter what, if you are not careful, you are going to take things to the next level. You will go to soft porn and then hard porn. You have to cut it off and pluck your eye out.”
As Mike Cleveland said, of Setting Captives Free, “Radical Amputation.”
Paul said that we are to put to “death the deeds of the flesh.”
The writer of Hebrews said that “We have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”
The writer is telling us that we have not reached the point where we deliberately shed our own blood to keep ourselves from sinning.
This is equivalent to what the Lord Jesus said when we need to “cut off the right hand and cast it away from us…or pluck out our right eye if it causes us to sin and cast it away from us.”
This radical amputation requires that we look at what has been tripping us up and cut it off. It goes beyond saying “NO!!!!”
It means that we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep ourselves from sinning.
From removing the TV from our homes, to cutting off satellite and cable service. From throwing away our laptops, iPads, and phones, to spending more time in the Word of God. From discontinuing buying and reading magazines and newspapers, to going to different grocery stores where the magazine rack is not the place to hang out.
From having an accountability partner to sitting in a group of men to hold you accountable.
What are you willing to do to break free, pastor?